Gonna share this with you, if some you likes to offer some advice and help

[non_nothing]

Recently I was feeling extremely depressive. I'm gonna share you something that I wrote today

This might make no sense to some of you, there's some spiritual aspect to my writings, it would take someone to 5-10 mins to read.

I have no idea what would you say, no idea what to expect from you guys. but certainly I want to say thanks who spends some time to read this. blessings

 

this is raw- the whole thing, with no editing or cuts. between each line I take 10-15 seconds to think so that some of lines might have weak connection between them. 

Quote

i can't take it anymore, nobody loves me.

nobody loves me.

nobody loves me.

what this thing inside me

wants to see this?

i can feel its presence inside me

why? also this thing wants to experience pain and suffering?

why?

"why" is not intended for an answer, or for a reason to show up

I want to welcome him, but why is he there

I am not losing my mind, Now this relief comes,

when i forget this, it will use this thing as weapon against me again,

with the suffering and pain, he will use that I am losing my mind.

why do you want me to suffer?

I did nothing wrong, I did not harm anybody, if that's a thing even,

but this has no meaning at all, I don't understand.

I did not choose this life, I have no idea why this is happening to me

This is interesting, funny if not, I don't know how to express this.

Threat of losing mind, threat of suffering and pain but also at the same time you cannot help it

whats this even? what are you? are you capable of having fun? if so are you having fun? I'm not quite sure what's your intention

it's clear that this is out of my actions and decisions, you simply make it happen.

I am speechless just watching, just observing, that's all I can do.

and forced to play.

why am I going to ask help? 

Are there any help outside of your control? I don't know what's your plan, but I'm going to do it anyways.

Now time to be philosophical, did I take this action, or you did make me took this action?

Who cares, at the end, It'll twist and curl upon itself. ityou. youself.

Wish I could say that you're so beautiful. No matter what, I have no idea how did you come up with all this but

this is really some-thing!. within this all pain and suffering I can see how magnificent you are.

you create, I humbly accept your greatness above my all desires and self-ego, wishing help from you.

this is all twisted. that's all I can do. I am weak and that is enough of that. Yes I expect help from out of nothing. I don't want to be something.

I don't want to claim anything. I don't want to be strong. I don't want to be rich. I don't want to be smart.

I don't want to invent. I don't want to go out there and find love. I don't want to do anything.

I don't care if everyone would call me pitiful. I don't really bother anything. 

I will just experience you and if god-who-knows there death, I'll die.

Do I have a choice even. I don't mind. I just don't exist at all. I am all imaginary.

Who knows who type these words. This is all twisted. I'm just observing this and this is the only reality for me.

If I existed at all I'd do it forever. not for a portion of time. Otherwise It would create a paradox of it's own.

How would I exist for a portion of time if there death, the thing writes these words.

I think I get it, I get the glimpses of it. But It doesn't help to the myself if not ego.

I'm still helpless and stuck back at where I've began. 

This is beautiful? Am I losing my sense? What's this oscillation of emotions? They call it something in psychology bipolar something?

hahaha jk fuck psychology. this is all twisted and at the same time somehow beautiful.

fuck you I'd say to you. you do this all to some-me and and I don't really know what to say.

will this lines ever get to end?

I'll post this to actualized forums why?

because I want help, yes I expect some help.

What do you expect? Fuck you don't ask questions.

 

 

[Nahm]

@non_nothing ❤️

[non_nothing]

6 hours ago, Nahm said:

@non_nothing ❤️

Lol It's been a while since I wrote this, when I look back this would be the perfect last letter of, for ego/fake self. 

[Forestluv]

@non_nothing A beautiful poem with depth of human experience.

[Mu_]

On 10/16/2018 at 1:00 PM, non_nothing said:

Recently I was feeling extremely depressive. I'm gonna share you something that I wrote today

This might make no sense to some of you, there's some spiritual aspect to my writings, it would take someone to 5-10 mins to read.

I have no idea what would you say, no idea what to expect from you guys. but certainly I want to say thanks who spends some time to read this. blessings

 

this is raw- the whole thing, with no editing or cuts. between each line I take 10-15 seconds to think so that some of lines might have weak connection between them. 

 

Sounds like my frustrations sometimes, with god  being, suffering.  Your human man.....