The Blind Sage

Book Reccomendations for Pick-up and Attraction

10 posts in this topic

Hey guys, I'm 20 years old and have sucked with women for my whole life and have a low self esteem and fear of rejection. I really feel that this is a huge hindrance to my personal development journey as I just don't know how to:
Approach girls
Talk to them (create sexual tension)
Lead the conversation to sex, and everything in between

I'm motivated to become good with girls not only because of sexual desire, but because I feel I need to be disillusioned by sex and fulfil it as a basic need so I can focus on more important aspects of life such as life purpose and pursuing enlightenment. 

I've been recommended to read 'the game' by Neil Straus, and 'how to be a 3% man' by Corey Wayne. I'd really appreciate it if you could recommend me high quality books as there is a lot of low quality information regarding this sub-field of self-help. (Or if you've read the ones I've mentioned, advice on which books to read first?) Online courses and lectures would also be appreciated.


PS. I realize the low self esteem is a separate issue that needs to be dealt with. This post is just for the purpose of pick-up though, thanks.

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Read Models:attract women through honesty 


You've slept a hundred nights, And what has it brought you? For your self, for your God, Wake up! Wake up! Sleep no more.
 

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I think to be successful at anything including dating  you need selfsteem , and confidence and self discipline 

 

The six pillars of self steem by Nathaniel Branden 

I think about confidence This dude's youtube is very good > https://www.youtube.com/user/GetMoreConfidence

Self discipline > The power of Self discipline from Bryan Tracy or any other book from him

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Read the book "The Rational Male" by Rollo Tomassi 

 

 

 

Edited by SFRL

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@The Blind Sage I’m reading Models by Markson at the moment. A pivotal book for me.

Before that I read The Way of The Superior Man. This book is really important to learn. It mainly teaches you  the different ways that Masculanity and Femininity work and manifest. How to be a grounded masculine male.

Good Luck.


In the depths of winter,
I finally learned that within me 
there lay an invincible summer.

- Albert Camus

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No the low self-esteem is not a seperate issue. It is the issue.

Women are attracted to confidence. (Not money, not status, not looks)

I would make it my first priority to get confident and develop a high self esteem.

 

First you need to unwash your brain from bad beliefs/mindsets.

Take some hours to write down all your limiting beliefs about women (Eg. Women dont like brown haired men, women dont want to be with me, etc.) Then start to question them thoroughly, break them down.

You dont want any of that! Why did you ever thought it would be good to have those beliefs around!? The fuck man. These beliefs drag you down like not even the hardest rejection from a women could accomplish.

Instead you want good beliefs! What are good beliefs? They make you feel good and at ease (Eg. Everything will be fine, If I dont get that girl its no big deal, I do this just for fun, This girl looks interesting, All women are cool, I am cool). When you think like that your mindset will help you to take the right action. You may want to write down at least 100 of these good beliefs.

 

It might take some time, so dont be too hard on yourself.

Now when you go and talk to women focus on your body. Relax every tension in your body. What you want to do is test your emotional level. Dont focus on the outcome, just focus on yourself. If you notice any fear, anger, feeling of being worthless etc. thats your sign! Make a mental note. Don't judge. Try to locate where your muscles tension up. Notice and release this emotion later at home. (There is a great book on how to do that in Leo's booklist btw). Repeat.

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The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. It's not about techniques, but it teaches how to deal with women (and with your life).

If you want something more specific, maybe you want to read The Physical Game by Ozzie (RSD Nation).

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Todd V. Easily the best teacher of pick up and technical dating advice. I feel like I've learned so much from him. 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo9XJennsRNhyPbXCq6e8aw

For dealing with the emotional side of things there is 6 Pillars of Self Esteem and then other domains of life you can explore which will help your mood such as exercise/weight lifting and meditation (wim hof is a really masculine type of breathing meditation I recommend.) 

Also don't fall into the trap of poor information intake when it comes to pick up. Tons of garbage out there. Your relationship with women is 100% your responsibility to fix. Red pill is garbage and while there are some nuggets of wisdom scattered throughout it the entire ideology is basically victimhood and external factor focused mindsets.

Getting good with women comes down to your own emotions and skills first and foremost, everything else comes second. Start implementing healthy habits of taking action, celebrate the small victories you have and don't ever be afraid to admit to yourself that you are awful with women and are taking action to improve!

Edited by Widdle Puppy

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