princess

How to stop caring what people think

14 posts in this topic

I watched Leo’s video on YouTube about 2 years back about how to stop caring what people think I applied everything he suggested and did the mantra it worked wonderfully but then at some point I stopped the mantra because I got busy then I back slid right back into my old habit. I immediately picked the mantra back up and ever since I’ve been struggling but to no avail. I’ve watched the video over and over again and done the mantra over and over again but it doesn’t seem to work anymore 

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9 hours ago, princess said:

I stopped the mantra because I got busy

Consider that this is a story. And that what really happened is that homeostasis kicked in.

Why do you think it’s no longer working?


 

 

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@princess I found for myself that caring what other people think leads to so much negative emotion. If you become mindful of the process your mind goes through, acting fake and inauthentic starts to dissipate. 


Hark ye yet again — the little lower layer. All visible objects, man, are but as pasteboard masks. But in each event — in the living act, the undoubted deed — there, some unknown but still reasoning thing puts forth the mouldings of its features from behind the unreasoning mask. If man will strike, strike through the mask! How can the prisoner reach outside except by thrusting through the wall? To me, the white whale is that wall, shoved near to me. Sometimes I think there's naught beyond. But 'tis enough.

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One way to stop caring about what others think is to Love yourself deeply to the point where you find joy and greatness in all of your acts, so much so that the opinions of others become rather trivial.

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Releasing tensions in the body. 

Certain beliefs about reality create certain muscle strains and certain internal organ positions according to a certain neural pathway dictated by a belief of any kind. 

Edited by Hellspeed

... 7 rabbits will live forever.                                                                                                                                                                                                  

 

 

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That video did wonders for myself, so I hope it doesn't wear out for me.  I also concentrate on non-judgement of others(and myself), using should instead of shouldn't, living in the moment (replacing passing thoughts with whats in front of me), and loving my old self.  All of these seem to go together.  Eating well and exercising help  too.

Edited by SerpaeTetra

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haha I don't even know how to answer the question, many things, read philosophy books, biology of human brain, social bonding, etc.. ( if you're not really into spirituality and this sound too spooki for your right now )

it's a web of knowledge and personnal observation that assure yourself that there is nothing. People who hated on me, I don't even think about them, it's like they never existed, and their own words doesn't even exist in their mind probably right now. when you know how human mind observe reality this sound trivial to worry about people thinking. When you understand your own bias toward people. ( but you should complete this madness with others things.. not just think "idgafuck" it's more balanced, but if people talk.. let them talk, if many talk, ask yourself if there is something wrong about what you're doing, or why are you hanging with those peoples )

"Lot of people like me, but if they hate me, I feel that pleasurable, they think of me, what loosers, I m working while they empower me talking about me." ( before spiritual realisation )

this is kind of the mindset, or just discover nature of reality and be aware that everyone is lost cause in intellectual manner.

who can judge you ? a human being ? a society ? be "above" all those ants concept. Your mind is the realm.

if you live through the judgement of others you can only walk backward.

Edited by Strikr

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sbw__MsJZ0

We know nothing, and even, I m not sure. a.V.e

 

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Confront the fears underlying this caring mechanism. Again and again and again. That's the only way in my experience. And of course, cutting some parts off of that ego also helps.


Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all of the barriers within yourself that you have built against it 

- A Course in Miracles

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@princess I should have mentioned this in my previous response, but not only does caring what people think cause negative emotion but caring what other people think is a consequence of being neurotic and anxious in general. You can think of the trait "Neuroticism" from the Big Five Factor Personality Scale if that helps. Decreasing neuroticism involves that you challenge your psyche in deep ways: exercise, meditate, eat properly, sleep properly, start good habits and etc. 


Hark ye yet again — the little lower layer. All visible objects, man, are but as pasteboard masks. But in each event — in the living act, the undoubted deed — there, some unknown but still reasoning thing puts forth the mouldings of its features from behind the unreasoning mask. If man will strike, strike through the mask! How can the prisoner reach outside except by thrusting through the wall? To me, the white whale is that wall, shoved near to me. Sometimes I think there's naught beyond. But 'tis enough.

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To not care about what others think you have to find Your life purpose and vision because these things will convince your brain that you are mature enough to take care of yourself without the need to kiss someone's ass for living. Once that happens, you will never give a fuck what other people thoughts and projections, because you have vision and purpose sooo strong that drives you in life and you don't depend on no one.


"Whatsoever is on it (the earth) will perish. And The Face of your Lord Full of Majesty and Honour will remain forever❤️" Quran: Surat Ar-Rahman (The Merciful)

"We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient"?Quran: Suratal Al-baqarah (The Cow)

 

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Taking what other people think about you, your words, your actions, or a certain topic is not bad per se. It's information that can be useful and valuable if you use it to build your understanding about what's important, and also to build better lines of communication.

But if what other people think impact you in a 'negative' way that distracts you from your goal or reduces your momentum, I learn that it's an effect of having an 'image goal'. We have an image of our self we want to shape in the eyes of other people, usually slightly different images for different people. We also have an image of our self we want to shape in our own mind. These two images, plus our actual goal that we want to reach, often don't have the same 'vector' or direction it's heading, and therefore create friction and conflict when they don't match.

We can get 'lucky' and have all three goals align. We are lucky if merely two goals align (our actual goal and our image goal). But there is no need for these goals to align. We only need to work on understanding our actual goal. Any image goal is 'arbitrary' because it's based on the evaluation of whether other people like us or not, and whether we think we are likeable or not. When we can see that our image goal takes us away from our actual goal, we can begin to dissolve it so it doesn't affect us anymore.

 


I review self-help courses to find out which ones are good and not good: propelyourwealth.com

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