A Strange Experience

[Emerald]

Hi all!

To give some background before I talk about the experience, I have been having Sleep Paralysis and Out of Body experiences for about 15 or 16 years. So, they're something that I'm familiar with. I have also had some experiences with Lucid Dreaming. And up until about two or three years ago, the distinction between the two experiences (Out of Body Experience vs Lucid Dreaming) was always incredibly clear. 

But in recent years, I haven't been having many Out of Body Experiences, Sleep Paralysis episodes, Lucid Dreams, or dreams in general. And whenever I do (once every couple of months) the Out of Body Experiences quickly devolve into Lucid Dreams. It's like I get out of body, and it feels realistic at first. But then I just fall into a dream state with all its inconsistencies and lack of solidity, as opposed to staying in the astral state.

But likewise, in recent years, I've been having this one recurring location in many of my dreams and even once before in a dream that came from a devolved OBE. 

This place that I'm talking about isn't like inside of a building or a single place. It's almost like a town. I've been to a school there, a game-room, this house with a path leading out the back, an apartment complex, on the bus, and a few other places. I've probably had about 10-12 dreams in this town over the past couple years. And I feel like it's all the same town because it has the same feel and I recognize it as such in the dream like I'm very familiar with where I am. So, in the dreams, I know these places exist close together. And I know when I am there because it all has this same vibe. But there's also always an underlying sense of dread and fear. It's always really off and bizarre feeling... a very unhappy vibe.

So, the night before last, I stayed up most of the night editing an update video for my channel. I went to bed at 4:30 and I had to wake up at 6:00 for work. So, I had only and hour and a half to sleep. And I went to sleep next to my daughter in the bed. And I woke up a little while later with Sleep Paralysis. But I was also still partially in a dream state. I was both laying in bed next my daughter, but I was also in that town with the awful vibe somehow. So, it was like 1/3 reality, 1/3 lucid dream, and 1/3 budding OBE as I was still able to hear the high pitched buzzing sound and feel the vibrations in my body.

And in that state, I looked at the opening to the door and I sensed a presence there that felt ominous and like a more intense version of the strange vibe that I get from the dream town. And I knew that presence was coming toward my daughter and I because the feeling was getting stronger and I felt a 'sinister' intent about the whole thing. So, I just lay there with the sleep paralysis and vibrations all over my body and my fear response through the roof as the feelings intensified and the presence got nearer.

And I thought that I should let myself just be aware fo the fear pulsing through my body and accept my fear and not resist it. And I thought about how I let go of fear completely when I transcended the ego. And I quickly thought (as though saying a mantra in my mind), "Become aware that you are the no-self." Then, the feeling of fear intensified all at once, like a small emotional explosion in my body. And once my fear struck that last note, the fear dissipated immediately in one fell swoop as though I had never even been scared. And the presence was gone.

Then, I fell down into the bed and started falling down this elevator shaft-like tunnel. And I thought... "I'm going down. Does this mean I'm going to hell?" I still was not scared to do this. But instead of hell, I fell into a dark grayness. And from the grayness came these designs shining from the grayness. As though a silver light was tracing stained glass patterns throughout he grayness using pencil-thin lines. And it was illuminating a really complex design with a lot of geometric looking shapes and patterns in it. And I wondered if I was seeing some kind of sacred geometry or something. And I had thought, "What if this is the representation of love or God or something and I can experience it because I have no fear?"

So, basically, I'm not quite sure what to make of this experience/dream/OBE. It was certainly interesting. I have never before been able to completely let go of fear in those situations. During OBEs I'm always just a little bit nervous, because I've encountered negative entities in the experience before. So, I always expect to see something... especially if I'm unable to leave the house that I'm sleeping in and get out to the street.

I would appreciate any reactions, thoughts, insights, comments, etc. I mostly want to share, and see if anyone else has had similar to similar-ish experiences. 

 

Edited September 21, 2018 by Emerald

[Barry J]

@Emerald  Next time let go of thought. Even now you are clinging to this experience. Ego wants buy in

 

letting go of fear is good. Negative entities are only real In the mind world

Edited September 22, 2018 by Barry J

[Emerald]

@SFRL @Barry J I should have mentioned that I'm not really looking for a non-dual perspective on this as I'm already familiar with non-duality. And I find that perspective to be uninteresting and without insight when it's used as an intellectual lens for classifying experience. I feel like I'm running over the same ground whenever I do this and just solidifying a belief.

So, I tend to only really discuss non-duality in relation to removing obstacles to clear perception and allowing. But it doesn't feel interesting or helpful to hash and rehash the concepts that I've known. So, I understand that it's all part of the illusion and all that. And that clinging to the experience won't beget enlightenment. 

Nonetheless, I'm interested in it from the perspective of duality as to what it might entail relative to the dualistic illusion. So, I'm looking for more of a Shadow Work kind of perspective about what it might mean emotionally and psychologically. Or if someone has had a similar experience. 

I apologize. I should have been more clear.

[Barry J]

@Emerald  ok but what do you think it is? I don’t see anything particularly unusual in what you have said. It’s quite a typical experience for “spiritual” folks. No meaning of significance to be honest

And don’t take this the wrong way but what do you expect from a non duality forum? Maybe more of a personal development question?

 

Edited September 22, 2018 by Barry J

[B_Naz]

Holy shit, it sounds like you've had one of those experiences that DMT offers. It's like you broke through. That going down on a lift is like going through a tunnel, a wormhole to the other beings and God??

4 hours ago, Emerald said:

"Become aware that you are the no-self."

This sounds fucking amazing? 

Your experience is very similar to those of Ego Death. I'm not saying you've experienced that in totality or maybe you have?... But I say this because with a lot of what people say when they say they have "experienced" ego death in forms of psychedelic trips or other forms, is pretty much the same  to what you said. Especially the "going down" or the shapes you saw as well are a very common theme. Also the idea of "I've been here before, I feel like I belong here" is in every single article or reading I have done on these types of experiences.

4 hours ago, Emerald said:

Then, the feeling of fear intensified all at once, like a small emotional explosion in my body. And once my fear struck that last note, the fear dissipated immediately in one fell swoop as though I had never even been scared. And the presence was gone.

This is also common with ego death as well. The fear builds up and then whoosh, it goes when you accept.

I don't know you very well unfortunately  but have you looked into psychedelics and their affects? Maybe something you can relate to them somewhere in your experience. I don't know if you ever had those types of trips, but I would definitely do some research on some people and their experiences with "ego death".

I wouldn't know, I've never experienced anything like this but what I can say with some readings I've done on psychedelics, it's definitely something like what you described.

I hope I wasn't rude or anything, and would want to know more lol

[Leo Gura]

@Emerald What is it you want out of these experiences? What is your intention?

Perhaps rather than just having them accost you randomly, you could infuse some intention into it.

You can choose to infuse infinite love into whatever experience you are having. Evil entities and whatnot should not bother you if you tap into the power of infinite love. You can even say something like, "Be gone devils! I reject your evil ways in the name of love."

All of these astral realm type experiences are what is called the Subtle body. Which is basically the dream realm.

Visualize yourself tapping into infinite love right before bed every night to program your mind to do it when you're in one of these OBE's.

In other words, take ownership of your OBE's. Don't let them turn you into a helpless victim. Don't let evil push you around. Truth and love conquers all.

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

@Emerald What is it you want out of these experiences? What is your intention?

Perhaps rather than just having them accost you randomly, you could infuse some intention into it.

You can choose to infuse infinite love into whatever experience you are having. Evil entities and whatnot should not bother you if you tap into the power of infinite love. You can even say something like, "Be gone devils! I reject your evil ways in the name of love."

All of these astral realm type experiences are what is called the Subtle body. Which is basically the dream realm.

Visualize yourself tapping into infinite love right before bed every night to program your mind to do it when you're in one of these OBE's.

In other words, take ownership of your OBE's. Don't let them turn you into a helpless victim. Don't let evil push you around. Truth and love conquers all.

I used to want a lot of things out of these experiences, especially as a teenager. I thought they'd be excellent tools for self-exploration if I could use them to travel time and meet people I admired who were long dead, even if the experiences weren't consistent with consensus reality. So, I had a ton of OBEs back then. I would usually get sleep paralysis a couple times per week, with a resulting OBE maybe once per week or every two weeks. But at this time, I found it difficult as I was quite twisted up back then with a lot of neuroses and no awareness of ego at work. So, I had all kinds of fears and was always mitigating low self-esteem and deep levels of existential dread, and often experienced dark entities like doppelgängers of my friends/family attacking or trying to attack me. So, I have a bit of OBE PTSD or something.  But none-the-less, I always valued the experiences because it gave me access to something beyond the mundane, whether it was real or not.

Currently, I don't have the burning desire like I used to to explore the astral realms too much. I wish that I did though, because it's really an amazing skill if you have control over it. I've been through some very interesting things as a result whenever I have been able to mitigate fears, avoid negative entities, and actually have enough control over my astral body to leave my house. But I never had amazing amounts of control over them. Most of the time I have a hard time getting up off the floor next to my bed if I do manage to get out of body. So, I spend the whole time looking up underneath the bed and floating around near the floor. And when that happens and come back quickly since I'm so close to the body.

I don't really try to have OBEs unless I happen to get sleep paralysis on a night when I'm in the mood and then manage to get out. 

But I guess I just wanted to have an interesting conversation about the experience. I don't so much need advice. It's just nice to be able to talk about these things to people who won't look at you like you belong in the nut house.  

But thank you for the advice. 

But it does feel very different than the dream realm if you have an actual OBE that doesn't devolve into a lucid dream, like the ones I've been having recently. It's a lot more consistent, and it's equally vivid to consensus reality. And you always start the experience from exactly where you fell asleep. 

Edit: By the way, have you ever had any OBEs?

Edited September 22, 2018 by Emerald

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, B_Naz said:

Holy shit, it sounds like you've had one of those experiences that DMT offers. It's like you broke through. That going down on a lift is like going through a tunnel, a wormhole to the other beings and God??

This sounds fucking amazing? 

Your experience is very similar to those of Ego Death. I'm not saying you've experienced that in totality or maybe you have?... But I say this because with a lot of what people say when they say they have "experienced" ego death in forms of psychedelic trips or other forms, is pretty much the same  to what you said. Especially the "going down" or the shapes you saw as well are a very common theme. Also the idea of "I've been here before, I feel like I belong here" is in every single article or reading I have done on these types of experiences.

This is also common with ego death as well. The fear builds up and then whoosh, it goes when you accept.

I don't know you very well unfortunately  but have you looked into psychedelics and their affects? Maybe something you can relate to them somewhere in your experience. I don't know if you ever had those types of trips, but I would definitely do some research on some people and their experiences with "ego death".

I wouldn't know, I've never experienced anything like this but what I can say with some readings I've done on psychedelics, it's definitely something like what you described.

I hope I wasn't rude or anything, and would want to know more lol

I have tried psychedelics only twice in the past, both of which resulted in ego transcendence. And this is why I doubt this experience as being an ego death. Practically, the fear was gone... but I didn't have any sense of unconditional love that being free of ego had allowed me to perceive. Instead it was just a lack of fear. So, I was thinking this was probably more akin to an integration experience than an ego transcendence/ ego death experience. I'm hoping that it means that I've processed through some deep traumas. My thought was that perhaps this town that I go to in dreams is a representation of a trauma that I'm not aware of. And that in allowing myself to feel the fear fully without resisting it that it would allow me to integrate all that was repressed. But that's just a thought. I don't necessarily know if that's true of the experience. 

But no worries. You weren't rude at all. 

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Barry J said:

@Emerald  ok but what do you think it is? I don’t see anything particularly unusual in what you have said. It’s quite a typical experience for “spiritual” folks. No meaning of significance to be honest

And don’t take this the wrong way but what do you expect from a non duality forum? Maybe more of a personal development question?

 

It's actual a more general spirituality forum than just non-duality focused. It's just that most people on here are interested in the non-dual path. So, that's what gets brought up the most. But I definitely don't think this is a personal development question. Really, I just was hoping to spark up a conversation about it to see what comes up in natural discourse. I like these experiences, and they're interesting to me. 

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Outer said:

Here's around 10,000 pages of Jung.

Thank you!

[Leo Gura]

@Emerald There are lots of books written about how to develop control over OBE's and use them for good. Robert Monroe's books are good. Thomas Campbell talks a lot about astral projection too.

I have never had a proper OBE. I've had sleep paralysis a couple of times, but it was very short and I never made much sense out of it. For me they are extremely rare. My guess is, I don't have the right type of brain/pysche for it.

[B_Naz]

@Emerald What about yourself? You described the environment but have you actually seen what you was looking like in that moment in the town?? Your age? Your clothes? Your health? Or was there ever a person in your place? Was you just floating around? Was there a point where you literally looked in a mirror, because it sounds like you was in a kinda "realistic" realm

[Naviy]

This guy has practical techniques:

 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1500578037

 

The Phase: Shattering the Illusion of Reality

The Phase: A Practical Guidebook for Lucid Dreaming and Out-of-Body Travel

 

 

Edited September 22, 2018 by Naviy

[Strikr]

I think I had one sleep paralisis ( being aware of a deep feeling of fear for like ~~ 15 sec ? )

One lucid dream or two without visual but I feel I had been in.. lot of feeling though.

All my dream are feeling' i never remember any object'wall'or three. It's only émotion.

Only nightmare or no dream

Is my brain fucked up ? Is it because I live reality through my 'head' ? I wish I get a dream again

Some people tell me it's like movie. Mine are like you After an entire vodka bottle. Without abuse in my meta

 

Edited September 22, 2018 by Strikr

[Emerald]

14 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Emerald There are lots of books written about how to develop control over OBE's and use them for good. Robert Monroe's books are good. Thomas Campbell talks a lot about astral projection too.

I have never had a proper OBE. I've had sleep paralysis a couple of times, but it was very short and I never made much sense out of it. For me they are extremely rare. My guess is, I don't have the right type of brain/pysche for it.

A friend of mine who I've collaborated with recommended Robert Monroe's work to me before. He even did a retreat at the Monroe institute a few years back. He has a whole YouTube channel that's all about it. And he really committed himself to mastering the process, and did so within a couple years. He just heard about it and wanted to do it. So, he trained himself to do it without ever having one by happenstance. So, it's a skill that can be cultivated.

But, I do think some people are more likely to get waking sleep paralysis if they naturally produce more Glycene and GABA. Sleep paralysis happens every night to everyone. But for most, it happens only when they're asleep and aren't aware of it.

So, these chemicals keep the body still at night to keep us from acting out our dreams. But my thought is that some people produce more Glycene and GABA than others... or that the mechanism that tells the body to release those chemicals is over-active and continues to do so even after the mind has woken up. And this is what causes them to get sleep paralysis more frequently. 

So, I think people who get frequent waking sleep paralysis are essentially the diametric opposite of people who sleep-walk. Maybe sleep-walkers have deficiency in those chemicals. I'm not 100% sure though. That's just what makes sense to me.

But you can actually buy GABA as a supplement... (who knows; maybe Glycene too). I didn't know this until a couple months ago when I had a someone on here asking if they were having astral projection experiences. And they were. Then I told them about the chemicals that cause it. And they were like "OH! That makes sense. I've been taking Melatonin and GABA to help me sleep better."

So, maybe try some GABA supplementation if you're interested. Perhaps Melatonin and Glycene (if it's sold that way) might help.

Or just screw up your sleep schedule or fall asleep in a place where you know you're not supposed to in your house with the intent of going back to your bed at some point in the night. I have had quite a few as a result of accidentally falling asleep on the couch. 

[Preetom]

@Emerald

I wish I could express my situation so eloquently like you. But recently, almost every morning I wake up immediately from a dream. And almost everytime, I can't tell for sure if I've actually woken up. It all feels like the continuation of the same dream I was having but at a different place.

There is a sick heavy feeling in the chest(but the dream was nothing scary) while I think for few minutes and finally decide that I've woken and that was a dream. Most of the time, I can't even remember the content of the dream.

It's just that the distinction between dreams and waking state is getting eroded. Is this something normal?

[now is forever]

hey @Emerald , lots of fragments from different dream experiences there. and a lot of methods in the room.

but the last one where you were falling down - did you ever read about shamanic traveling or self hypnosis?

 going down is always a sign you are going into the basement, subconciousness. 

i would interprete the experience like this (logically - you didn’t want a non dual approach right):

nightmares of any kind are fear induced. be it because there is some experience from the day you have to coap with or be it glycene and gaba and their antagonist, or even just a lack of oxygen through closed windows or snoring (don’t underestimate this factor).

so if you managed to remember the no self in a state where yo were paralyzed, half wake (the person nearing is a common phenomenon in sleep paralysis) so you remembered the no self and with that, you pushed open a door to your subconciousness - which is linked to your love infused creative more positive you. 

so that’s pretty nice - you could work on that method for sleep paralysis!