Philosophising Why We Care About What Others Think of Us

[Mezanti]

• ABOUT ME

I'm in my teens, I have a relatively high iq, im driven, i'm hardworking, and im goals oriented,  

but all of that doesnt mean anything, because i worry that others don't perceive me a certain way, and this has been a brick wall in my life essentially keeping me stuck from dating, developing my charisma, having friends, pursuing talents publicly; music, art... the list goes on.

I've started a meditation habit a day ago, and already i've seen some results, i've filled my schedule with meditation. I do it twice a day for an 1 hour every time and on weekends I have cleared out an entire day just to do a strong determination sit. I'm pretty sure ill be able to achieve in a month what someone else meditating for 15 mins a day did in year.

 

• THE EGOS DEVELOPMENT 

I know that fundamentally the route cause of my neurosis in this subject of "caring what people think" is all the manifestation of Ego.

The ego is what i call a survival identification mechanism this was what i had described it as before discovering Actualized.org

it's a mechanism that has been programmed to identify itself and everything around it, placing values on everything, recognizing things as harmful or harmless... the list goes on. It does this to maximize its own opportunity of survival.This mechanism is a consequence of evolution across thousand of years of trial and error crafting the perfect surviving creature, us humans. who are alert, quickly identifying our surroundings and know what to fear in order to stay alive.

Its an identification mechanism.

in today's society, surviving isn't our goal, in today's society we have taken the survival aspect of life and simplified it to the extreme.

The average person doesn't have to hunt for food, nor does he have to hide from lions and other wild animals.

The average  person today, goes about their day pursuing their personal interests and comfort. Survival is taken care for him by the supermarkets and yet the identification mechanism still runs in the back of his head 24/7.

 

• THE EGO'S ROLE IN WHY YOU CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK

Your ego has identified others thoughts of you to be a crucial aspect of your survival, this is all subconsciously done,

Your ego believes that if the Tribe perceives it as bad then it will be abandoned and abandonment is death in an evolutionary perspective, so in order for it to stay alive and survive it must not be abandoned, it must be apart of the tribe, so therefore it has to monitor what people think about it, in order to be able to please  them. 

 

• THE SOLUTION 

The gradual numbing down of the ego.

Edited September 18, 2018 by Mezanti
The removing of the ego. -----> The gradual numbing down of the ego.

[EternalForest]

I admire your work ethic but I'd advise you to take it slow if you just started meditating. Don't forget about what was written in MASTERY by George Leonard. Slow but steady wins the race!

[SOUL]

1 hour ago, Mezanti said:

I'm pretty sure ill be able to achieve in a month what someone else meditating for 15 mins a day did in year.

 

1 hour ago, Mezanti said:

The removing of the ego.

Hm

[Mezanti]

@SOUL

 If you have the courtesy to actually read what i wrote, you would find that i mention how i still participate in the ego , it's not numbed down for me at all. Not only that, i'm sure that meditation for 15 minutes doesn't get you much, since your mind takes at least 10 minutes to adjust and get into a meditative state, while me on the other hand meditating for hours on end, daily, it's not an egotistical claim to say that i would 12x my results.

So in conclusion im still egotistical but im tryna strangle the shit outta my ego by 12x my meditation results.

some maths  

12 months of 15min meditation daily = 15mins- 10mins(since the mind takes 10 mins to get into a meditative state)*365 = 1825 mins meditated. per year

Me 1 month (120 mins - 20 mins daily)*30 +[(480 mins-20 mins)*2]*4 (on weekends i add an extra 8 hours of meditation so in total 10 hours that day)=6680 mins meditated. per month

so per month i was able to  triple the results they got in a year, so its even more than 12x since if it were to be 12x i would have gotten 1825 mins done in a month 

But i'm gonna take into consideration that im still a newbie, although i did experience non duality for a split second once,  my brain is gonna have to adapt and what not. So no i'm not doing in a month what they o in 3 years. But i am roughly doing in a month what they do in a year. 

 

Edited September 17, 2018 by Mezanti

[Mezanti]

@EternalForest Haven't read that book yet, would you recommend it as life altering?

[MisterMan]

@Mezanti I think he's trying to say the desire to achieve such a result comes from ego. The fact you want something.

 

Yeah I know, welcome to the club.

[Mezanti]

@MisterMan your ego is the one that chases spirituality, but as you follow through on spirituality, you start to lose your ego, im not a fucking guru. Im egotistical as fuck and probably you are too. 

[EternalForest]

@Mezanti It's one of Leo's most-recommended books, he mentions it all the time. The idea is that there is The Master, The Dabbler, The Obsessive and The Hacker. I'm noticing you're falling into The Obsessive a bit, because with all the meditation and spiritual work you're doing right off the bat you're bound to hit a wall or what Leonard calls a "plateau". Basically, you're bound to burn yourself out. The Master takes his time, stays focused (unlike the Dabbler) and keeps pushing himself (unlike the Hacker). It's an interesting concept to study, and yes I'd consider it life altering. There's nothing wrong with being super passionate and getting off the ground running, but just be prepared for your first plateau.

 

 

[Shadowraix]

You don't remove the ego. You become aware of it to acknowledge and intervene when you see it start to grab influence.

[Mezanti]

@Shadowraix sounds logical

[Mezanti]

@EternalForest  you dont know me enough to say im obsessive but you make one hell of a point. Thanks for the advice, gonna read the book as soon as i have the time

[Hero in progress]

@Mezanti

Self survival is properly a more appropriate term than ego. There is no ego.... Opps did I just give it away

Your post is great really, it addresses self survival. Social self survival, which to survival is just as important & attention grabbing as a physical threat. 

We live a vast complex social context, this dominates our thinking proccess, and actually if you really wana go deep, its all a complete fucking illusion. 

Theres no1 here!!! 

Hello?

Anyone out there??

No1 wrote this post, even if you think off course someone wrote this another ego...  Tut tut tut... Your still not getting it.

Mindfuck

[Mezanti]

@Hero in progress yeah its obvious your more spiritually advanced than i am, despite me understanding you mean, i really dont expierence it.

[Hero in progress]

@Mezanti

@Mezanti 

We'll firstly there is no1 here more spiritually advanced than you, I am addicted to cigarettes, I can lose my temper, i have negative thoughts sometimes and I suffer the experience of self survival just like everyone else. That's the truth. But... The one that knows all that, but does not know or perceive itself is formless and infinite and I don't mean that to sound so romantic its just what's absolutely so. 

[Hellspeed]

Very nice logical pointers. but...

The main reason is the wound made to us all in our own "sling & stone" (David and Goliath story). Ego cannot be removed, only updated. 

[Mezanti]

@Hellspeed have you experienced an update in your ego?, isn't it just a lesser and more aware version of the one before, its a gradual process, the removing of the ego, it gets "updated" just like  your iphone giving you a better, and better ,and better, and better version of it slowly over time.