Update On The Path (Noduality and Self Actualiziation)

[cle103]

Hey guys, I've been meaning to write this for a while now. 

Some stats on me: 

• 21 years old, male
• I work in a marketing agency (and I like it 90%) 
• Meditating for 2.5 years (6 magic mushroom trips) 

This is mostly me reflecting and self assessing my progress and shortcomings on this journey. I've also included recent learnings. Hope you enjoy. In order of importance... 

 

Enlightenment

Status: Definitely not enlightened (yet)    

I've worked with a coach on my Kundalini for about 3 months and I've seen a lot of improvements in my practice. Especially after reintroducing Kriya Yoga. I now do Leo's Kriya routine in the morning and a visualization + chakra meditation at night. Both take about 30 minutes each. 

Just yesterday I had a session at night where I felt the borders of my body dissolving combined with increased heart rate. I had this a couple times before. Sometimes with my heart nearly exploding (or so it felt). I think I'm on track here. Of course if you think "Yay, here comes my breakthrough" you loose it... nonduality you slippery bitch...

Other than that I can definitely sense energy in my spine but nothing special to report. 

Things I've learned recently: Your day is preparation for practice! If you train distraction for 23 hours it doesn't do much if you meditate for one hour. So do one thing at a time. Finish what you start and stay mindful in every move you make. That's harder than it sounds. Especially when you own a laptop or phone lol. 

I've also had some really interesting experience/trip after smoking weed recently.

Another thing: Meditation isn't just sitting still and closing your eyes. It's a prolonged and deep state of focus. That just made me realize how weak my focus really is. I cannot even concentrate on my third eye for 5 minutes. Screw you pornhub... 

Note to self: Place order for LSD and DMT asap. 

 

Life Purpose

I've been working on my LP for the better part of two years now. And I believe I know what I want to do. My passions are: Health, nutrition, cooking, nonduality, yoga and art. My current approach lies in combining the health stuff and weaving in some nondual teachings. I'm working on getting some clients for online coaching on health and and nutrition. Gonna see if it's for me or not. But I can definitely see myself doing that and going deep... however my fingers are also itching to do some art. 

Gotta see how this pans out. 

Things I've learned: I basically work to make my boss rich. Man... I really like my coworkers and my boss. They're great humans. However I don't think that this is going to be my life forever. The job takes SO much time and energy that could be focussed on LP and meditation. I think it's gotta go in the long run... 

 

Dating 

So... yeah dating hasn't been happening for quite some time lol. At my age I should be getting drunk and high and fuck some hoes. Preferably at the same time... however this doesn't really appeal to me. 

Dating takes SO much energy it's not even funny. I am fucking spent after a week of work, progressing on my LP and doing all that meditating. That's my excuse at least. Sometimes I ask myself if all this dating stuff is even worth the trouble. Then again: Some female affection would be great and I believe that a deep relationship could be worth the hassle. #pleasehelp 

 

Health 

Health is great. I hit the gym 4 times per week. I take walks and do Yoga. I eat clean, cook my own food and I love it. I've experimented with some intuitive eating and it feels really good. However I've got a minor food addiction in the evening. As I see food as my go to way for comfort after a long day of work. Nothing drastic as I'm pretty lean and muscular and I just eat a little to much (of the healthy food). Gotta clean it up sometime but I don't have the mental band width right now. 

 

Other Learnings 

I basically know NOTHING. That just dawned on me after the "life is a maze" video. All I have are my direct experiences from trips and life. EVERYTHING else is just hearsay. All the knowledge I assumed was true my WHOLE life: Monkey see - monkey do.

This shit is dangerous. I remember listening to Jordan Peterson half a year ago. I thought: "Man, this guy's kinda aggressive, but I see what he's saying."

You don't question this knucklehead if he's on Joe Rogan cause he sounds smart. But then you listen closely to what he says and you ask yourself: "Wait what? Is he serious? Did he just say this!?" So thanks Leo for that. 

You/I just can't take anyone's word for anything. Gotta find out for yourself... as my statistics professor likes to say: "You can use graphs and numbers to prove any fucking thing you want."

Then again: You gotta take hypotheses. But I'd rather rely on the Buddha than on the RSD guys or JP lol. 

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If you made it this far: Thank you for your attention! If you got anything to point out: Blind spots or things that might benefit me/others on the same path please comment below. 

Much love!

 

- Cheers

Edited September 14, 2018 by cle103
Forgot something.

[FrgttnDeer]

Take a look at the self. I recommend Ralston's work and definitely try Kim Katami's two part formula.

In the meantime, I think you'll enjoy this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaH4W1rY9us