ADHD and OCD (?)

[Tistepiste]

Hey all,

I have been diagnosed with AD(H)D and OCD, and to be honest, it can be very very very hard.
I haven't been feeling like this for a pretty long time (at least a year), but last few months have been very hard mentally.

It feels like my mind/brain is constantly looking for something negative to 'grab onto', and it gets triggered very easily by things that are not 'ideal'.
Let me first illustrate this with an easy example:

When I have nothing to worry about or hang onto mentally, it can be something very random. Like something I am reading or studying can grasp my attention, like a word that is written bigger than another word. Then I start questioning 'why is this written bigger, it must be more important', so I want to make sure that I read it properly, which creates a  'loop', because I have been 'triggered' by that word. Then I just can't get this word out of my head and I have to convince myself that the word is not all that important to put so much focus onto it, but at the same time I feel like it is and it always somewhere present in my mind.

But it can get much worse in real-life situations when something negative (or something I perceive as negative), happens.
Don't get me wrong, I am a very positive person, I'm always smiling, love to have fun, have enough friends around.
But at the same time I am very sensitive, mostly to people I really care about.
When something happens where I feel that I have been disrespected, or maltreated, my mind can really focus on it very deeply and sometimes it is very hard to get out of it.
I know the thoughts are irrational, and I know it is me acting stupid, but sometimes I just cannot resist the tricks my mind is playing on me.
It is like I always find a reason to go into this negative loop and try to make sense out of a situation, and it puts me in like a zombie-like state.
Sometimes my friends catch me in this phase and have to snap their fingers to get me out of it again.

It can stick with me for very long.  I don't know why it happens. Maybe it is because deep down I am very insecure although I do not feel like I really am.
I am confident in my skin, I know how to socialize, I make new friends very easily, no problems talking with girls, etc.

But still, when something is unresolved, or I feel like I couldn't say what I had to say in a certain situation; but it feels like everything has already been closed for the other person and they don't want to talk about it anymore, I am stuck there with my negative and mixed feelings, trying to find an escape to let go of my thoughts, but they just stick with me and I have a hard time getting over them. Feeling fully confident that they are irrational and don't matter is something I have a hard time dealing with.

Actually, I didn't have it this bad for a long time. But when situations occur I just cannot deal with them properly.

This can be applied to situations. But with the 'word', just bugging me for a few minutes to an hour, and situations bugging me for months to years.

I am not sure how to deal with it sometimes. I try meditation and it helps me get back my awareness and rational state, but after a while it just all gets back to me.

[Nahm]

If you’re under 25, most of that sounds common, unfortunately almost a ‘right of passage’. Learn to laugh about these things. That word is funny, thinking it might be more important if it’s bigger, Lighten up and try to see the humor in it. Also, give up thinking about what other people think of you, because you’ll never actually know, and let go of needing to be understood. No one will ever really understand anyone. 

 

[Tistepiste]

@Nahm alright I'll take a look. I'm pretty good at not giving a shit about anything anyone says to me except when they're very good friends. Then it gets tricky.

And yes I'm under 25

Edited July 19, 2018 by Tistepiste

[Nahm]

@Tistepiste Slap each other in the face. Don’t knock it till ya try it. 

[Tistepiste]

@Nahm Haha what you mean with that

[Nahm]

@Tistepiste Literally.

[Tistepiste]

@Nahm Slapping eachother in the face?? Haha

[Charlotte]

19 hours ago, Nahm said:

@Tistepiste Slap each other in the face. Don’t knock it till ya try it. 

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