Meditation - Beginning

[Tistepiste]

Hello all!

This forum seems really interesting and intriguing. Can't wait to be apart of this.

I just started meditating because I have been having a hard time controlling my thoughts lately and I felt like this could help me.
Certainly since I need a lot of focus in my life right now, and having a clear mind and peaceful self in general is something I strive for.

That said, the last 4 days I did these short guided-meditation sessions for 10 mins.

Whenever I steered my focus to my body (mentally), I suddenly felt this rush of energy being present everywhere in my body.
It was a really big rush of energy that I could feel was starting from the middle of my body and was spreading through every limb.

Now, together with this energy increase I felt it was harder to control my breath (my breath would become shorter), and my heart would start beating much faster (maybe twice as fast). 

I was wondering if this was normal? I was worried about my heartbeat increasing and my breath being shorter.

When I shifted my focus on my breath, the energy would fade away, until I gained a more clear focus on my breath, and I could feel this energy again.
Also, my eyes would start vibrating behind my eyelids and would move a bit upward. I was almost in like a hypnotic state but with all of my senses being hyper-active and much more activated.

When I stopped this meditation, I felt a little bit 'out of body'.

When googling about it I didn't really find clear results as to if it is normal that your heartbeat starts increasing together with the shortage of breath.
If anything, it lead towards anxiety symptoms more than effects from meditating.

Any thoughts about this?

[PsiloPutty]

All sounds normal from what I know. I get the buzzy eyeballs sometimes while meditating, too. Don't try to control your breath, though. Let it happen as it wants to....your job is simply to focus on it going in and out of your nose. Youre the Witness, the Observer. 

Keep it up and it will change your life!!!     It's already changing mine in a number of ways, and I've only been at it daily since December. 

[Nahm]

@Tistepiste After 23 yrs of daily morning meditation, I see it as decreasing over-thinking &  increasing awareness. So if there’s some unwanted shit going on, that’s a good thing. It’s rough becoming aware of it, but stick with it, and liberation follows. We often carry a lot of issues in our heads and body’s in a conditioned “behind the scenes” kind of way, not subconscious, but unaware of because we’re overthinking and distracting ourselves from what our true self, and bodies are communicating.

So when that stuff arises, focus on naturally breathing from your stomach and keep relaxing head to toe. Once you are calm and relaxed, ask....

 

”What is the insight I’m being shown here?”

 

It might be a change of habit would help you, maybe forgiveness is in order and would help you, maybe letting go of a repeating thought, etc. Whatever it is, the true self want to tell you - you can do it. You totally can. 

Stick with it. Probably the wisest decision you’ll ever make. So many people just zoom in, work hard, etc, without zooming out, and life is stressful & difficult that way. It’s supposed to be fun. Godspeed and congrats my friend! 

[Tistepiste]

18 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@Tistepiste After 23 yrs of daily morning meditation, I see it as decreasing over-thinking &  increasing awareness. So if there’s some unwanted shit going on, that’s a good thing. It’s rough becoming aware of it, but stick with it, and liberation follows. We often carry a lot of issues in our heads and body’s in a conditioned “behind the scenes” kind of way, not subconscious, but unaware of because we’re overthinking and distracting ourselves from what our true self, and bodies are communicating.

So when that stuff arises, focus on naturally breathing from your stomach and keep relaxing head to toe. Once you are calm and relaxed, ask....

 

”What is the insight I’m being shown here?”

 

It might be a change of habit would help you, maybe forgiveness is in order and would help you, maybe letting go of a repeating thought, etc. Whatever it is, the true self want to tell you - you can do it. You totally can. 

Stick with it. Probably the wisest decision you’ll ever make. So many people just zoom in, work hard, etc, without zooming out, and life is stressful & difficult that way. It’s supposed to be fun. Godspeed and congrats my friend! 

Thank you very much for this elaborate response. I am planning on doing daily morning meditation.
How is this helping you in your daily life? Do you still every really worry?

I have been diagnosed with mild-OCD so I have a tendency for being very sensitive to impulses and over-thinking in repeating patterns. I am sure I can cure myself of this though.

Also, addressing the increased heartbeat and shortage of breath, you think these are normal occurring symptoms? Nothing to worry about?

However I am very aware that I have unwanted and intrusive thoughts going on, I acknowledge them but I have a hard time of letting go. Certainly when there is no closure.  That is my main problem. I try to make sense out of something that doesn't make sense to me. And it can be very very exhausting.

There was this one specific thought - criticism and I carried it with me for years, until one day I decided I found a good enough counter argument which enabled me to refute any energy I gave to these thoughts and it went away like *bam*.

But this makes me dependent on very exhausting cognitive power in order to try to convince myself of the unimportance of certain thoughts.
They pop up like parasites.

 

Edited July 11, 2018 by Tistepiste

[Nahm]

1 hour ago, Tistepiste said:

Thank you very much for this elaborate response. I am planning on doing daily morning meditation.
How is this helping you in your daily life? Clarity, peace, slower / better thought quality, less monkey mind, more love & patience, and I can “see” more but that’s an ineffable thing until you “see” more too. 

Do you still every really worry? Not really. But even if you do, you know meditation is a place you’ll be able to let go of the thoughts which bring the worry. So when worry hits, it’s not nearly as big of a deal, cause you know you can meditate. After some time, your perspective gets aligned with Truth, and you see there is never anything to worry about. Takes practice / time “on the cushion”, and then it stays with you always. 

I have been diagnosed with mild-OCD so I have a tendency for being very sensitive to impulses and over-thinking in repeating patterns. I am sure I can cure myself of this though. Absolutely you can. I was diagnosed manic depression, tried multiple pills, etc. Nothing worked. Then I started meditating, it more than worked.  I saw benefits like stress & tension reduction in a couple weeks, then I was able to see “ahead” of it after a couple months so I wouldn’t get stressed to begin with, started making better choices for myself with eating & exercising....later down the road I felt more love & connection with the universe, and then one day I sat down on the cushion and laughed and cried for a few days, completely relieved by the knowing (felt like I remembered something I already knew) that there is only one thing. (Later realized infinite no thing with the help of psychadelics - shroom tea)

Also, addressing the increased heartbeat and shortage of breath, you think these are normal occurring symptoms? Nothing to worry about?

Yep. Nothing to worry about. You’re just sitting and relaxing. Simply doing that is taking time to be aware. So you might become aware you’ve been rushing through life without knowing it, you might become aware you hold negative perspectives towards someone, everyone, the world, etc. Who knows. But I gauruntee you that awareness alone is curative. (Though do whatever really help you too)  Any monkey mind, OCD, etc...if you just committ to sitting and going through it, letting the natural all that is take place, you will be freed of it, and you will understand, and you will have clarity. 30 mins every morning is a medium pace in life to process these things, to allow the light of awareness to illuminate them giving you clarity. Down the road, think about getting away for a few days and spending time alone in nature, it really solidifys & you see a bigger picture, not to mention, this brings deep appreciation for your life & loved ones. 

However I am very aware that I have unwanted and intrusive thoughts going on, I acknowledge them but I have a hard time of letting go. Certainly when there is no closure.  That is my main problem. I try to make sense out of something that doesn't make sense to me. And it can be very very exhausting.

OMG dude, that’s exactly how I would have described it too. I thought I needed things to make sense for me to be at peace. Meditation is YOUR time, just time for you. Zoom out - let go of  responsibilities, concerns, anything you think you have to remember, or learn, or do. Leave your life behind. You deserve to feel the peace that you are. You will. When you’re “back at life” you’ll enjoy it more, be in the moment more, feel the joy more, etc. You don’t need to make sense of anything. Letting thoughts go is an art. A life long art. If you think you’ve mastered it, you might want to do a little more in your life, and let go of any resistant thoughts that arise.  You know what I mean? 

Consider just being the observer for a while, in meditation, and all day long. Just witness. Don’t talk unless you really need to. Just observe. Notice how many times a thought arises, compelling you to say something - but don’t - just observe. You’ll soon start to notice how you’ve been “shooting from the hip” or reacting right away...and that is the cause of a lot of troubles. That is attachment. It’s like some shit happens, and bam! Crappy emotions....but there’s a process happening, some perspective & thinking taking place, which lead to those unwanted emotions. Meditation & just being the observer will slow all that down so you can have clarity on what’s happening. 

There was this one specific thought - criticism and I carried it with me for years, until one day I decided I found a good enough counter argument which enabled me to refute any energy I gave to these thoughts and it went away like *bam*.

But this makes me dependent on very exhausting cognitive power in order to try to convince myself of the unimportance of certain thoughts.
They pop up like parasites.

I know. I really do. That will change. I’m sure you’ve seen The Matrix. I like this Gif a lot. It represents what it’s like after enough practice. It seems like you have to “exhaust cognitive power” to deal with those thoughts, or deflect them, but you will see, that after a while, you won’t even need to dodge them. Criticisms of others won’t matter to you, and your acceptance of others will become more authentic, and you’ll just be loving. 

 

 

 

[Tistepiste]

1 hour ago, Nahm said:

 

Amazing. I will read this post a couple of times to really let it sink in and carry it with me. Thanks a lot for this.
Have you reached the state of being "enlightened"?  

"one day I sat down on the cushion and laughed and cried for a few days, completely relieved by the knowing (felt like I remembered something I already knew) that there is only one thing." 

Would you describe this experience as reaching that state?
And "there is only one thing" - Referring to a specific entity or being?

[Nahm]

@Tistepiste I get why you ask that, but if I’m being totally honest, I’m just a figment of your imagination. 

[Tistepiste]

@Nahm I will admit that I do not really understand what you mean with that, but thanks for your time and effort to help.

[Nahm]

@Tistepiste Nobody does. ?

[LiakosN]

@Nahm @Nahm I 'get high' every time I read your comments! Love you!!! 

 

Currently, I am using meditation with curiosity to discover how insane the mind is. I try to focus my attention on the belly while I let my breath flow in and out naturally. And whenever thoughts come it's just like watching a movie. I don't cling onto them. After my 30 minutes of meditation I open my eyes and concentrate on a thing while I am saying the mantra : Present with every cell of my body.. 

[Nahm]

@LiakosN love you too! ??