Why do I=you=we exist?

[now is forever]

@tsuki toooooooo unbelievable to talk about it. and still i‘m clinging to possibilities. triangle shapes and flowers, being a bodhisattva, seeing my prana body, opening the heart chacra, checking out chaos theory, the mysticism of the templers, well maybe enlightenment, maybe psychosis. all in hd. this forum felt like burning hell at some point before that happened.

tsuki - you talked to me then, you know what i mean, the bodhisattva thing. 

guess i‘m a tomato. ? 

my phantasy is hd is that enough? and some of the things that happened - are highly irrational, more than coincidental. how can the mind know things in advance?

 

and you? what happened to you?

Edited September 21, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

 

[tsuki]

8 hours ago, now is forever said:

tsuki - you talked to me then, you know what i mean, the bodhisattva thing. 

Oh yes, I remember. I thought that you didn't like my answers back then .

8 hours ago, now is forever said:

toooooooo unbelievable to talk about it

Come on, don't be shy .

8 hours ago, now is forever said:

and you? what happened to you?

Many words, little sense. I died. I became acquainted with the Nothing. "I" fell off and came back different. Then fell off again. Then came back.
It comes and goes all the time. Sometimes for seconds and sometimes for weeks. I can always see through it though.

Here's the link to my thread, but the amount of awakenings had changed. I stopped counting at seven:

 

[now is forever]

@tsuki ok i‘m going to read it, now.

it wasn’t that i didn’t like your answer back then - just that i had an internal agenda.

you know about kali yuga? a prophecy wich is not so far fetched. i didn’t know about it then - but it somehow matches how i perceive our world.

what happens if belief systems seem to overlap so perfectly, that all signs point to only one direction?

Edited September 21, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

we continued the conversation here...

[now is forever]

21 hours ago, tsuki said:

@now is forever I'm not interested in the practices perse, but exploring the territory in general.
Wishing for things to come to me is a double-edged sword in the hands of a fool such as myself.
After all, one of my favorite sayings is: "be careful what you wish for, it might just come true".

The interesting bit is about liberation and altered states of consciousness. It sounds like enlightenment textbook.
I'm not reading it to become enlightened, but to better understand what happened to me.

want to open a thread about chaos magic? or better not? just for exploration. 

or you jump over your shadow and open a journal with a really odd title. guess it’s possible to hide like that 

@Zweistein and me were talking about hiding in general today  very hidden, private chat.

see the problem of talking seriously about stuff is: a classroom is always leveld

Edited September 21, 2018 by now is forever

[Zweistein]

On 18.9.2018 at 2:03 PM, now is forever said:

@Zweistein so will you let your children face nothingness or awakening when they are grown up? so they won’t fall into the trap? 

i think i really would want to let them experience that, but in a guided surrounding...or do we need to protect them from growing up too soon?

i don’t have children yet, but a god daughter i lived with for some years when she was a tiny.

@now is forever My children ask a lot of questions about death already and it feels very natural to answer them deeply. Otherwise, I hope my guidance is a balance between protecting them and letting them free. As long as they can play in their phantasy worlds everything is going alright, I guess.

[now is forever]

@Zweistein but don’t you think that this is a natural process like a development process?

because when i had my near death experience aka dark night of the soul i found out that initiation in other cultures is around the age of 15 to 18. for example some native americans have sent the young grown ups to survive in the forest, facing death and finding their totem animal. and there are many more (some where mentioned in the hero with a thousand faces). 

so i always ask myself if we are missing out on that in our world. it was not really personal, more a general thought on adolescence.

Edited September 21, 2018 by now is forever

[Zweistein]

14 hours ago, tsuki said:

Many words, little sense. I died. I became acquainted with the Nothing. "I" fell off and came back different. Then fell off again. Then came back.
It comes and goes all the time. Sometimes for seconds and sometimes for weeks. I can always see through it though.

Here's the link to my thread, but the amount of awakenings had changed. I stopped counting at seven:

 

@tsuki "I" feel you - "I" also stopped counting. The worst thing is that all the conversations here feel like self-talk, not just sometimes, but more and more.  It's so easy to get trapped in the mind and in addictions... but yeah, "I" can totally see "you" as shaman ;-)

I won't spoil my life purpose (maybe I already spoiled too much ), because I want to work and stay in the background as much as possible. My plan for the next 15 years is roughly outlined and ready to be adjusted on the go whenever "life" presents itself. I won't earn much money (although I have a little bit of ambition to try at least)... Whatever happens is going to be totally ok and if I happen to live that long, I plan to retire in a community (one of those with wonderful trash-art buildings and eco-gardens) or travel around the world in an RV. 

I'm afraid I have to say good bye for real now - somehow the I without " " has more important things to do nowadays...   (but yeah, messages are always an option to brainstorm the "how's and if's" ;-)

 

[now is forever]

@Zweistein good luck! guess i will also fade from here soon. 

just preparing for winter. then the non kapital i will maybe also turn into an “ “.

thank you for being!

[tsuki]

10 hours ago, now is forever said:

want to open a thread about chaos magic? or better not? just for exploration. 

or you jump over your shadow and open a journal with a really odd title. guess it’s possible to hide like that 

@Zweistein and me were talking about hiding in general today  very hidden, private chat.

see the problem of talking seriously about stuff is: a classroom is always leveld

@now is forever I think that chaos magic is one of the things I want to discuss in a sensible way. Leo had always warned us from Ego's wanting to keep things private.

I think that I will start a thread one day.

I'm having a batchelor paery, so I guess I will be heading off for now. Many touching posts have been written since yesterday and I can't wait to respond ❤️♠️.

 

[now is forever]

@tsuki what is the difference between a flashy thread title and an odd thread title?

how far can privacy get? body privacy? soul privacy? and is there a difference between net privacy and street privacy? is there a difference between hiding and privacy? 

where is the difference between protection and privacy? 

[tsuki]

12 hours ago, now is forever said:

@tsuki what is the difference between a flashy thread title and an odd thread title?

@now is forever Like I said - that book scares me. The things I could do to my mind with it are terrifying.
I want to ground myself in public opinion. Make 'them' stop me by calling me insane for taking it seriously.
Too bad that it's too late for that to work . 

[now is forever]

@tsuki huh? what do you mean? what book?

now you are scaring me! no one is insane here! 

can you explain?

[tsuki]

2 minutes ago, now is forever said:

@tsuki huh? what do you mean? what book?

About chaos magic.

2 minutes ago, now is forever said:

now you are scaring me! no one is insane here! 

Oh, my dearest friend, we are all equally insane.
Some of us simply want to be exactly as insane as everybody else and some of us want to be insane in their own, authentic, way.

Edited September 22, 2018 by tsuki

[now is forever]

@tsuki mhhhhh - no chaos magic generally is not the thing. did you already use it? 

yes ok insanity is relative! are you satisfied with that answer?

do you want to talk about chaos magic then? 

you know i like to name the things that seem to be scary, you are saying: rumpelstilzkin and they just disappear.

Edited September 22, 2018 by now is forever

[tsuki]

1 minute ago, now is forever said:

mhhhhh - no chaos magic generally is not the thing.

What do you mean?

2 minutes ago, now is forever said:

did you already use it?

The scary thing is that it describes various things that I've been doing for years, unknowingly.
The description is very no-bullshit, straight to the point, and with it, I can crank my things up to eleven.
It scares me where it could lead me.

I will sit with this terror and get acquainted with it. Then, we'll see.

[now is forever]

@tsuki ok but maybe you want to read more than one book on that. mine is a little more rational i guess from the title...

Edited September 22, 2018 by now is forever

[tsuki]

@now is forever Definitely.

[now is forever]

@Zweistein @tsuki have a new mirror analogy for communication, i wanted to share with you both - in sense of teacher student information exchange.

if we think about knowledge, wisdom, appearance as light that always goes from the brighter room into the darker room (camera analogy) and forms a picture there - (the picture is not the same as what falls through the frame of the window).

now imagine you have two rooms and there is a mirrored window between the rooms the window is always a mirror to the brighter room, the darker room has the view. most of the time there is only one side bright while the other is not. but they change constantly from bright to dark like in a pingpong game.

think there is still something missing though (tried to think about different furniture and size of the room - but then  the furniture could also move just because the light from the other side falls in depends on if the inhabitant, the room itself wants to change the furniture)

Edited September 28, 2018 by now is forever