How to forget things you dont want to remeber

[Boss]

What do you guys think? I am talking about forgetting bad habits/hobbies, bad experiences, bad thoughts...


Impossible to forget?

Would love to see Leo take on this.

[AHappyTeddyBear]

You don't forget it ! 
Accept it for what it was and learn from those experiences. There is always something to be gained from experience. Be it good or bad in your case. Take a look at it in a way that strengthens you, surely without failures and  bad experiences you would never self actualize, because you would never go out of your comfort zone. Everyone has ups and downs in lifes. It is up to you to learn from them .

 

[Ayla]

Hello BoSS (this sounds so funny  - couldn't help myself )

Here's one idea for you. I used it, it worked wonders for me. 

Everything that you can perceive with your mind, is an illusion. It is not real. So you can just...drop it. It is/can be as simple as that. 

If some idea sticks, sit deeply with it. Sit with it until you're sick of it and ready to drop it. 

Oh and...before you say you don't agree, seriously try it on  

 

[Boss]

3 minutes ago, Ayla said:

Hello BoSS (this sounds so funny  - couldn't help myself )

Here's one idea for you. I used it, it worked wonders for me. 

Everything that you can perceive with your mind, is an illusion. It is not real. So you can just...drop it. It is/can be as simple as that. 

If some idea sticks, sit deeply with it. Sit with it until you're sick of it and ready to drop it. 

Oh and...before you say you don't agree, seriously try it on  

 

sounds great I will definitely try it  

I think its crazy how we dont really have much control on what we forget/remember. I am not sure if there is something deeper to it. I look back at my life and there is some things I remember but it seems more things I forgot. Is the things I forgot wasted life? the things I forgot must be irrelevant to my current moment in life but I can say that for some of the things I remember.

[Natasha]

Recognize your thoughts (memories are also thoughts) as illusory images that have no weight on reality.  They are fiction created by your mind. Get in direct contact with raw reality at hand, what you can empirically experience through your touch, vision, smell, hearing, and taste - this is what real and the only things you can know exist for sure right at the moment. Everything else is an illusion. Let go of it.

[daing]

It seems to me that the things I previously wanted to forget, actually contained the most important lessons in them.  Rather than avoid the discomfort, I am finding the best path to be simply jumping straight in and examining these former(or current) habits, hobbies,experiences, thoughts.

Talk about self revelations...

[Georgi Ivanov]

3 hours ago, Boss said:

What do you guys think? I am talking about forgetting bad habits/hobbies, bad experiences, bad thoughts...


Impossible to forget?

Would love to see Leo take on this.

I think that, the best way to forget bad memories is to replace them with new, good memories. Whatever is the case to have a bad memory for centrain thing, you have to beat it. Try to improve yourself to a stronger person for who, these bad memories are not bad anymore. (Im still not good enough in english. Sorry about that.)

Edited February 7, 2016 by Georgi Ivanov

[Olafur Thorsteinsson]

5 hours ago, Boss said:

What do you guys think? I am talking about forgetting bad habits/hobbies, bad experiences, bad thoughts...


Impossible to forget?

Would love to see Leo take on this.

I recomend you do meditation.

Thats it.

[Amy]

I think meditation will help make peace with yourself... I do think that when we replay a bad experience, it is our mind teaching us to learn from the experience.   Our mind is trying to find what went wrong, etc. We can't change the past, but we can learn what not to do in the present/future.  

[YM]

Hi there,

As many of you know : we have to accept because we cannot change the past and the others.

However, some deep wounds made us apply some strategies to continue surviving that are not working anymore. Yes we know what happened, we understand how it influenced our lives, so what's next?

It may help you, I am actually working on a 5-step procedure to change a pattern of behaviour directed towards me and the others.

1 - stop: hold the horse and breath

2- feel: check-in your body and feel where it hurts  //  you must feel xx

3- acknowledge: this or that does not work for me  // I can imagine how xx

4- set the intention: you can count on me  // I want to be there for you; if there is any way I can help you

5- admit limitation: what might it be xx // I don't know what it looks like to xx

 

Homework: to do a journal of feelings (check in with your body) and acknowledge them.

[dystopia]

Two things that have worked for me:

Get yourself into a quiet, meditative state.

1. Go back to the bad memory and let yourself feel it/re-experience it, but don't dwell on it, too long. Then, imagine a more favorable outcome. Convince yourself that the outcome you're imagining/the way you manipulated the memory to be favorable is what really happened! Get really detailed & make it feel real/plausible. Then remember it that way. It's kind of like implanting a false memory (which is possible, I've read)
(or, if you want:) Then, forget about it. No need to keep going back to something that worked out just fine, right? Don't treat it with so much severity. You can convince yourself of anything if you really want to.

2. Go to the bad memory and imagine it is like a movie in a screen. Now picture that screen getting smaller and/or farther away. It appears smaller and smaller until it vanishes. Then feel the relief of watching it shrink and disappear.

I'm no expert but I made these up & it's worked for me, several times. Worth a try, eh?

Edited February 7, 2016 by shouldnt

[A way to Actualize]

If it shows up. Say to yourself that it is okay. When you do this frequently, you will be in a state of acceptance. Eventually you can play with the thought and say 'I love you' to it. This is not some vague technique. In a state of self-love, thoughts do eventually not influence you anymore. 

Edited February 11, 2016 by A way to Actualize

[Guest]

8 hours ago, Boss said:

Impossible to forget?

It is said that elephants never forget.  Humans??? Never seem to get it right.  Many scientific studies have been carried out on what a person remembers and it seems that there are many factors that can modify the accuracy of recalled material or events.  It is questionable whether recall of any sort is exact.   It is often "coloured" and "flavoured" by other experiences and events.   We are always growing and changing.  Our views on things change, sometimes imperceptibly.   We can never be certain of the accuracy of recalled memory. 

Memory is not the reality of NOW, what you are at this moment.  This fact puts memory into the realm of imagination and fiction.  It is like reading a novel or watching a drama on a movie screen.   If you identify with the memory then it affects you.  If you understand it to be fictitious then you are free of it.  It will not affect you in any way.  If it has a useful application, then you will use it to advantage.  If not then not.

Do not confuse who you are with thoughts that appear in awareness.

joy

Edited February 7, 2016 by walt

[Keyblade Viking]

18 hours ago, Ayla said:

If some idea sticks, sit deeply with it. Sit with it until you're sick of it and ready to drop it. 

 

This is the most important part if you ask me, whatever you do don't run from it but embrace it fully and "dive in to the abyss", at least that worked for me when I was depressed. I wasn't trying to forget things but whenever you have a problem you need to face it until it's not a problem anymore and don't ever run away from it.

Edit - When I did that I came out feeling better than ever once I finally cracked and went from bottom to the absolute top when everything suddenly clicked and I realized it was just my stupid selfish ego self loathing and then I staid there for several weeks if not months

Edited February 8, 2016 by Keyblade Viking - Tobias

[Time Traveler]

Hi, Boss!

I recently discovered good technique if not for forgetting bad memories then for diminishing their impact on our life.

It is called EMDR  (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy and is created by Francine Shapiro.

It is incredibly simple yet effective - I eliminated one of my deep rooted fears in about 10 minutes.

Method consists of doing simultaneously 2 things:

* moving eyes (from side to side, in shape of  ∞ and in circles

* talking or remembering about bad memories you want to eliminate

After some time (few minutes) you feel that impact of memories start to diminish.

I even made some Flash movies to guide eyes in the process

If interested, you can google "EMDR Francine Shapiro" and get complete explanations.

 

Good luck !

[Avi]

@Boss I might be repeating this but that's okay

Have you ever noticed the harder you try and forget something the more it stays with you? Don't resist it. Accept it and feel it. This takes practice. 

This also reminds me of a quote "We don't build statues to remember, we build them to forget." I thought this was appropriate in your context.