My problem: Being emotionally open, please help!

[Widdle Puppy]

So I have this problem that I can tell is one of my blocks/challenges. I can tell it is interconnected to fears of mine and emotions relating to them, the past, uncertainty of the future, etc. I've done some journaling on this. To be more specific why I'm making this thread it is hard for me to be emotionally open with women and I think with my family. Like I have built up some awareness and can tell on different levels I numb myself, put a block up, take on a role, or do something like this that keeps me from being vulnerable and emotionally open and accepting. It feels like I can make a move with women and date them to the point of physical pleasure but it's like I'm playing this role and it isn't the real me. I'm like suppressing my real emotions and just playing out this role to satisfy a desire. I'm making this thread for some advice on how to start tackling these blocks, numbing and emotions that arise in the moment that keep me from being emotionally open. I'm looking for theory, books, advice, approaches, etc. I realize I'm going to have to start putting myself in more situations where I'm emotionally open and face these situations the best I can with as much awareness and openness as possible. Does anyone have a blueprint to go about doing this?

[aurum]

@Widdle Puppy

Any sort of healing practice will help here. Look into meditation, yoga, breathwork, reiki etc. I'd especially focus on opening up your heart and solar plexus chakra.

Beyond that, I have no blueprint. You want an engineering solution to an emotional problem. You'll let go when you're ready to let go.

[Widdle Puppy]

5 hours ago, aurum said:

@Widdle Puppy

Any sort of healing practice will help here. Look into meditation, yoga, breathwork, reiki etc. I'd especially focus on opening up your heart and solar plexus chakra.

Beyond that, I have no blueprint. You want an engineering solution to an emotional problem. You'll let go when you're ready to let go.

Hmm, ok. 

I've actually done vipassanna meditation before and it has been healing in a way where I it has made me more aware I am more accepting of what I'm experiencing in the moment but also I've noticed there is this big ice berg in my mind where I'm acting based on it and something beneath it but the iceberg is keeping me from feeling the emotions for what's bellow and healing there. 

 

I think I should do some more research on more emotion based techniques of meditation and theory. Are there any specific books you recommend?

[Dhruv]

@Widdle Puppy

Try out Michael Sealey's Youtube channel. He has some awesome hypnosis / guided meditation hour long tracks especially there's one to release subconscious blockages. Most of his work helped me. No risk trying.?

[Nahm]

@Dhruv Just subscribed to his channel. Looks interesting. Thanks! 

[Widdle Puppy]

This video by @Leo Gura really helped me today after a very hard day yesterday. 

I have been practicing meditation and awareness but I also think I've be unconscious and confused  by my emotions and ignoring them and haven't really ever explored them. My current mood or what I'm feeling is always permeated by this sense of numbness and this slight headache, block, or fog that keeps me from feeling comfortable with what I'm feeling. I'm aware of this sort of identity or mechanical system I am that operates around this numbness. I want to start breaking through it an feel fully and comfortable all the emotions I have so I can make better decisions. I fee like right now I act very unconsciously whenever a negative emotion arrises such as worrying and fear. It's liek I've created this barrier to protect myself from painful emotions. I'm afraid of what will happen when it becomes weaker and weaker. Will everything pour out and will I lose my mind? It's scary 

[Dhruv]

@Nahm

Which one did you try?

Sidenote- It takes a couple of tries before you can get into hypnotic state.

[Nahm]

@Dhruv None yet.