Peter Zemskov

My parents are enforcing my envy towards other people

25 posts in this topic

On 21.05.2018 at 9:24 PM, nour-cha93 said:

I understand this very well. My parents compare me to other people all the time. But now I chose to take it but not be affected by those comments. This is their opinion about how to raise a child and no amount of discussions would change their mind. That is why I let it go. When they compare me to others I listen to them and smile :)

I think that that's the most concious way of dealing with it. But it's emotionally very hard not to get affected by what they say

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This issue is all about you, not them. It's the hardest pill to swallow, but also the most effective one.

There are a few tips: know better, turn their comments into humour, gain self-confidence.

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I have family members like that. Just quit them. 

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Late to the game here but I didn’t see anyone else mention it, maybe skimmed past. Others have said great things but I thought I could add:

First things first, understand your parents are pushing you to be the best you can be. To take the initiative and make your life/goals a reality. To accomplish and succeed. 

With that said collect your true thoughts. Think of what’s important to you! Communicate that with them although I know how difficult that can be. Be nothing other than assertive.

Secondly: don’t be immature and don’t make the mistake many many others have made. Don’t let the pressure eat you up, don’t let these moments define the relationship. Understand where they are coming from, forgive and shrug it off. You be you and it’ll all work out in time.

Story: one of my best friends growing up had extremely competitive parents. Poor kids life was all about sports/academics/extra curricular activities.. being the best!!!! Y’know what? Though he is extremely talented physically and mentally he grew up to dress like a punk rocker and became a highly successful tattoo artist (one of the best IMO). He and his parents had a fallout but have since come to terms :) 

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Hi @Peter Zemskov, How are You ?

I think we all compare ourselves to others all the day, and this comparison extend to all parts of life, and thats normal,

The competition and comparison does not create envy, what creates envy is the mindset of some people ...

They have to understand that there will always be some people better and worse than Them in any part of life, and the situation of who is better and who is worse will not stay still, it will change all the time, So why envy others, and by the way what is the benefits of envy ? What can We gain from it?    it has no benefits..

in the other hand one of the benefits of competition and comparing is knowing who is better and who is worse and learning from each of them ...

 

 

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