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BobbyLowell

Feeling like an equal.

9 posts in this topic

I recently realized that I feel inferior to others and this has been a problem for years. I am a teenager. I feel inferior mainly because I feel like I can't have good conversation and like the way I say things, I always look at people to give me value. I have been doing a lot to stop caring what others think of me like saying " I am completely independent of the positive or negative opinions of other people" for like an hour a day and then listening to a 9 hour subliminal sleep session everyday to stop worrying what others think of me, I do the Nathaniel branden statements everyday and I say " I love being confident" for 5 mins a day but I feel like I can't stop feeling this way. Advice???? 

Edited by BobbyLowell

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Since you are a girl you should play the "I am the innocent, and shy, and cute, please someone come safe me , card". 

Big strong guys often like their girls like that. 

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@SFRL yeah I used to do that, but now I just want to be myself :) not treat myself like I'm inferior and just don't put myself in a hole where I won't ever be happy in :)

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@BobbyLowell sounds like you are too much inside the house and inside your head?

Do you do Yoga or Martial Arts? 

Those are more a do-er then a thinker approch to self-devopment. 

Also 'being-yourself' sounds great but self-improvement always requires change. 

Maybe you don't like yourself, on one hand you shouldn't hate yourself, but on the other hand that should be motivation to change (improve). 

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The affirmation she mentioned comes from this video. 

You care about opinions of others because you are young, you go through a lot of social pressure from your peers and at the moment you can't really isolate yourself from them to start thinking independently. You are deeply in social matrix yet. With time you will naturally get "proofs" that you are OK, when you get a good job, a good lifestyle etc. 

However, if you really want to practise it already, what you need to do is to practise radical honesty by saying stuff about yourself that you are afraid of saying. Most people will respect you for being authentic and saying what you really believe in. Some will be disgusted but you need to approach it while having in mind two concepts:

- you are choosing to be polarising because you prefer having friends that truly accept you and not only partially and from whom you would need to hide your true self. This is just a way of an agreesive screening.

- good and evil are illusions, most people just copy their parents and peers and never think their convictions over, your beliefs aren't bad, just different, just tailored for you and as long as they work for you nobody should interfere

- people opposing your truth are not conscious, they will do that to feel safe and secure in their convictions, they do not have bad intentions

Another thing you can do for practice is to get accustomed to doing socially weird/unacceptable things like sitting on the floor where nobody does it, dancing on the street etc., or being the first one to do something in group. You should act whenever you fear people might judge you. Do it without monitoring yourself. Just do it. It will give you a strong sense of self-authority and independence. Talk what you enjoy talking about and don't give a fuck. If someone doesn't contribute to the conversation it means that person is just a mismatch to you interests, there is nothing wrong with you. This is also how you screen out boring people to talk with.

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@BobbyLowell  Dear Bobby, you seems to be a normal teenager. The condition will pass. You will be completely cured.

You need to follow these simple steps:

  1. Realise that people don´t know shit (me excluded ofcourse).
  2. Get busy and focus on what you want out of life.
  3. It is rare to have a good conversation with somebody that haven´t lived yet...you are not unique. Just young.
  4. Grow past the teens and about 22.
  5. Realise that most people are to busy with themselves to actually notice you.
  6. Never leave the house.

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Affirmations dont work because it doesnt adress the original negative thought.

So, if you believe "Im dumb" and you say "Im smart" its not going to work because there is "evidence" for why you believe you are dumb.

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teal swan has a good video on it. take notes, contemplate, execute. i think its better than leo's vid on the topic 

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