Toxic friend who wants back into my life

[VictorB02]

I have a situation that I'm not quite sure how to really handle. About a month ago I finally cut my ties with a friend I've had since freshman year of high school (I am now a senior in high school). This friend was really quite toxic, from leaving me at home for a job that I got him to join me on, to saying "F*** you" to me and later that same night saying "I meant what I said to you" and many more instances, I could honestly go on. And that is why I decided to cut him from my life, and it honestly has never been better. My question comes into play when I realized there is a very good chance he will try to make amends with me (again) before he leaves to the Marines in a couple of months. This will be after showing me that he clearly doesn't like me and doesn't want the best for me even after I have said sorry and made amends before. What would be the best course of action? I can see how accepting his apology, but continuing on with what I'm doing (not hanging with him, working on me) would be the best option, or, would accepting his apology fully and returning to how we used to be, be the better way. I guess I just need some insight, thanks! 

[nightrider1435]

Sounds like you already know, just work on you. You don't deserve that kind of treatment. 

[B_Naz]

So as you can see, you've benefited when you cut ties with this toxic person. You can see the progress you've made and the peace that has been restored in your life. It seems to me that your friend is desperate for social interactions or for a friend and so your friend needs you, rather than wanting to be with you. In my personal opinion, I would not respond to him and carry on with my day because he will ALWAYS come back.

He will bring a toxic and negative environment to your life and this could even halt your progression. This is because you're like a sponge that soaks the negativity and toxicity. Each time instance means soaking and that causes problems.

The ULTIMATE solution is to remove him from your life completely. Why bring somebody who causes toxicity into your life when your life can be or will be even more challenging. You need more encouraging and positive thinking friends.

It can be hard to forget somebody or a memory. The best and most powerful way of forgetting the past is by never bringing it back up into your thought process or your life. 

[VictorB02]

@nightrider1435 you're right. As I was typing this its almost as if the answer appeared to me within the question 

[Salvijus]

Papaji once said. "I don't have any friends and I don't want any" meaning that he's friendly and loving with people around him but he doesn't give a shit about having friends

[VictorB02]

@B_Naz Thank you for the reply! That makes total sense. No need to be the same way towards him, and no need to associate with him at all

[VictorB02]

@John Lula Great insight, and I've thought of it before. We were playing a pickup basketball game with three teams. He was on one of the other teams at the other end of the court and got into a pushing scuffle with somebody else. I hollered from my end of the court to quit acting like kids and play basketball. He turned around and yelled "F*** YOU!". After the game, he apologized to the kid he got into a scuffle with right next to me, and then came up to me and said "I meant what I said to you though". I thought it was very oddly out of the way for him to do that, considering we are "Friends". But you're right. If I wouldn't have said something in the first place, it would have never happened

[VictorB02]

@John Lula I agree 100% 

[Forestluv]

@VictorB02 You could tell him you are not willing to meet him in person, yet he can write an email to make amends.

Maintain strong boundaries.

[lmfao]

@VictorB02 Avoid him like the plague. This may be a slight exaggeration but you get what I'm saying. 

Edited April 5, 2018 by lmfao

[Phrae]

Avoid him. He's appealing to the weak parts of you. He is weakening you in the process of getting him back. You have to stay strong.

[VictorB02]

@Phrae @lmfao @Serotoninluv Thank you for your replies