How To Deal With A Toxic Friendship

[Falk]

My Frenemie is like this:

Upsides:

+funny guy/ fun-times for the most part

+lot of same interrests and topics to talk about

Downsides:

-Never calls / i always have to initiate everything... 

-Over-competitive personality (specially with women it always turns into a competition, even with random women who aren´t even very attractive he goes wannabe-alpha mode/ tryhard-mode to get the laughs... annoying)

-Talks about how good he is at this and that and how he is even better than his boss at work...A LOT 

-Drinks a lot & even gets agressive sometimes (getting into fights with random strangers...stupid!!)

-I listen to his problems from work, when i tell something i did (smth. neutral or even something i achieved lately) he makes a joke about me ...nice!

 

When i feel like having a bit fun, talking shit and laughing i wanna call but then i also think it is not worth it getting into this mess...

What do you think? How do you deal with such people that you kinda like but also know they are actually pretty toxic !?

[Anna]

Got it. I had a similar situation with a woman who was a friend of mine for about 2 years. We had a lot to talk about and laughed really hard sometimes. I loved it... BUT she was extremely depressed, anxious and sometimes the situation turned into pure negativity from one second to another. Especially when it came to things like her love life, how lonely she feels and her money situation she couldn't handle. She also got into toxic relationships herself and wasn't ever able to break up.

I can handle such sensitive / disordered humans, because I experienced a lot myself.

What I want to say is, it became a toxic friendship, when she just talked about herself. She was not listening to my problems anymore and the whole thing sucked up my energy. And this made me quit this friendship.

So whenever you realize this is sucking too much energy from you and it's more toxic than fun, I would say: quit.

Think about it carefully. This is just my opinion.

[Empty]

@Anna @Falk  Hi, my situation may shock you. lol If it was about one friend or two or even a bunch of friends, it would be much better. I can tell you that MOST OF THE PEOPLE I meet everyday are toxic!! this is why I isolate myself. And I don't want friendship anymmore. Also, this forum is good help for me. To be with positive people in my own reality, I have to carefully select them, the only way out!!

[Anna]

@An actualizer I understand your situation. Maybe this is the root cause of your social anxiety? I remember a post of you where you said you struggle with this.

[Empty]

Just now, Anna said:

@An actualizer I understand your situation. Maybe this is the root cause of your social anxiety? I remember a post of you where you said you struggle with this.

Yes, It is the root of my negative thinkning as well. Although I know for sure that my journey is bloody ROCKY, I am convinced, on the other hand, that if I make some INNSANE change, It would be worth a novel!!

 

Just now, Anna said:

@An actualizer I understand your situation. Maybe this is the root cause of your social anxiety? I remember a post of you where you said you struggle with this.

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[Anna]

@An actualizer I know it's hard to see, but try to stay open-minded. Don't take the chances of developing good relationships away from you. There are a lot of toxic people out there, I know, but there are some good ones aswell.

[Anna]

@Falk Maybe this video will help:

 

[Falk]

@Anna Thx  Yes i think i can handle "strange" or "disordered" as you call it, people too, in fact i find them to be intressting in a way, but you´re right, if it get´s exhausting i should stop and i wont take initiative to contact again ...if we meet once a month or so let´s see how it goes, i think that´s an adult way to handle the situation. I have enough stuff to do anyways ^^ so it´s not like i will get bored. Thx again!

@An actualizer When you say ALL people you meet are toxic , that kinda rings an alarm for me... you maybe know what im implying here... but it´s not for me to say, thx anyways for your response.