I think I am losing my mind

[TruthSeeker47]

After watching Leo for a bit I have started to feel really strange, like an unrest inside my head. I feel as if I'm watching myself live but not actually alive myself! I was wondering if hearing about non duality made any of you feel this way either, and if so how you overcame it. I have been to see a therapist but they told me it might be something to do with Schizophrenia and tried to put me on medication. 

[Rilles]

Could it be depersonalization? I sometimes have tiny flashes of this but it doesnt bother me, can happen after alot of meditation. Dont let it freak you out, it will pass.

Edited March 28, 2018 by Rilles
Added more information

[Nahm]

@TruthSeeker47 How does it feel?   And did you see a therapist for this, or for other things?

[abrakamowse]

2 hours ago, TruthSeeker47 said:

After watching Leo for a bit I have started to feel really strange, like an unrest inside my head. I feel as if I'm watching myself live but not actually alive myself! I was wondering if hearing about non duality made any of you feel this way either, and if so how you overcame it. I have been to see a therapist but they told me it might be something to do with Schizophrenia and tried to put me on medication. 

I was in a psiquiatric hospital (before finding about Leo and actualized) because I had some psychotic episodes. I really lost my mind.

And what I learnt is that you don't lose your mind. It's just attachment to thoughts. We think, we are the thinkers.

When I weird thought arrives we think it is us that is thinking, something wrong is happening.

Try to focus on reality without analyzing. See what is happening outside, not in your mind and you will see that all those thoughts are false.

[abrakamowse]

I found this interesting

 

https://www.wildmind.org/blogs/on-practice/mind-fake-news 

[dorg]

8 hours ago, TruthSeeker47 said:

I feel as if I'm watching myself live but not actually alive myself!

I could describe experience here like this. IOW, you are not the experiencer but observing the experience. I find this very good as I now know that I am not in the world but just viewing it. I understand this is just a stage.

Edited March 28, 2018 by dorg

[TruthSeeker47]

@Nahm For this

[TruthSeeker47]

@abrakamowse Thanks I will try to use that more often

[TruthSeeker47]

@Outer Its like I realized that I created an image that I display to the world but its not really the True me and i feel like the real me is trapped beneath my ego.

I do feel less smart and also have noticed a worse memory

[Elisabeth]

Did you engage in any practices, or is this just from listening?

Are there a lot of emotions? 

[MarinM]

That's good man. No need to worry about that, it's ego facing the truth. I enjoy when that feeling comes, then I know I only need to surrender to the feeling. I had many times that experience and I could a lot of times fully see what is being talked about, you get faced with possibility that you don't really know anything about life and you start feeling lost. Try to see the feeling as a progress, since you aren't ignorant about big ideas that can shatter your reality completely. Still, don't take anything for granted, see it just as a possibility and have your mind open to that and when you see it on your path you'll know what it is and it will be easier to surrender. All the best 

[abrakamowse]

@TruthSeeker47  Look for mindfulness meditation on youtube. I also have problems with memory and that helped me a lot.

Leo has a video about it too...

[Nahm]

1 hour ago, TruthSeeker47 said:

@Nahm For this

Sounds like your building conceptually, unaware you’re adding a gloom & doom aspect.  Practices? 

[TruthSeeker47]

@Elisabeth @Nahm   I meditate 40 mins and I often think about what he talks about in his videos but I'm not sure what other practices I could be doing.

And the emotion I feel is kind of like desperation i think, because I'm scared that I might never feel real again

[TruthSeeker47]

@MarinM Okay thanks and does this mean it's getting close to death? because it really sucks at the moment in comparison to when i assumed i knew stuff lol

[GomeGabrielDavid]

I suggest reading my new topic "Effect And Cause".

[TruthSeeker47]

@GomeGabrielDavid I can't see it on your profile

[Nahm]

@TruthSeeker47 Have you considered an attitude of accountability for how you feel, and your outlook? Sometimes it seems like gloomy days are due to a video we watched, or something someone said, etc. But, in truth, it’s always our interpretation of what others say, and events we witness, which leave us feeling whatever way we do. 

I am wondering what the intricacies of your meditation practice is like. 40 minutes a day should be bringing you peace of mind and some mental space, at the least.

There is a certain ‘depth’, that when reached, the actual psychological and physiological all pervading  ‘substance’ of love begins to be real-I-zed. It comes from within, not without, and needs no interpretation.  It is freeing, and connecting at the same time, in a most wonderful way, if you let go of perspectives. 

When you next sit down to meditate, make a point to be decisive - acknowledge this is your time to simply and only be you. You’ll drop all the roles (worker, student, parent, son, daughter, human, alive, etc). Commit that you will let every last aspect of everything just go. Keep relaxing every single muscle deeper and deeper all the way down to the tiny little muscles in your spine from top to bottom. Repeatedly ‘sink’ down into relaxation, and then relax more with every out breath. That is your time to be, to be yourself.  

When I sit to meditate every morning, I leave ‘all this’ in the most literal sense. 

Another way to look at this, is you can use practices like meditation etc to let it all go, to allow detachment from thoughts, reaching true peace of mind, and or, you can do positive things for yourself - exercise, clean up your eating, drop bad habits, give to others in unconditional love, donate, volunteer, help someone with anything, read an uplifting book, listen to Uber positive stuff like Abe Hicks, Tony Robbins, Mooji.

Way down the road, your gonna see there is only you, and your person is a freaking miracle within a miracle made of love. So for now, consider that, and try to realize, if you’re not feeling the way you want to feel, if you’re not seeing life the way you want to - you are behind it - no one else, it has always been you behind this. There must be things you want to do but aren’t, and or things you want to stop doing, but aren’t. Make a list, and wake up, and start living your life. 

[TruthSeeker47]

@Outer I feel better than normal but I still find it hard to capture the beauty of the outdoors, its all kind of blurry

@Nahm Its true that I can't blame my feelings on Leos videos, but I think maybe I wasn't ready to hear such things that would change my perception on life. And actually It turns out I was meditating badly, I was feeding my monkey mind by just sitting there and thinking instead of using any techniques. I tried a breathing meditation a few minutes ago but I definitely need practice before I can experience a true feeling of myself like the one you are talking about. I do believe that your right that its my fault that I feel like this but It's not so easy to change, anyway thanks for helping and I guess at least now I can meditate properly and grow from there.

[Nahm]

@TruthSeeker47 Thanks. I’m glad if I helped. Some people just live a bummer life, but never even try meditation or anything for their consciousness, and they Suffering through problems they’re creating. You’re on it though. Becoming conscious is rough at first, but very worthwhile. You’re gonna be great man. You’re pointed in th right direction.