What To Do When No One Takes Your Depression Seriously

[Brian Greendahl]

Leo has a couple of videos on depression. The video titled "why am I depressed" is spot on. I've suffered depression for years and always wanted, needed, expected, other people, circumstances, situations etc. to change, alter or shift in such a way that I deemed supportive or helpful. I had to learn that it was ME that had to take responsibility for my depression. This can be very hard, but very necessary. I had to realize that I was too self absorbed and expected everyone else to be absorbed with me also. I had to break this way of thinking. Meditation, spiritual practice and growth, daily self evaluation have all helped me a great deal. Getting out of self and into a more service oriented mind set has also proven helpful. I would strongly encourage you or anyone suffering from depression to watch Leo's video "why am I depressed." it's a must see. I don't mean to come off cold or callous. Depression is very real and very hard to beat but there are many things we can do on our own to lighten the load.

[Kelley White]

@DrMatthewsausage  Hi!

2 hours ago, DrMatthewsausage said:

I don't know if another psychologist would be the best thing to do. I've only been there a handful of times and it is my impression that it might get better since we are still just getting to know each other.

Ahhh!  Yeah if you are new to this therapeutic relationship you are still in the trust  building phase at this point.    I would still encourage you to file it away for the future so that if things improve wonderful, if they don't you know you have options.

2 hours ago, DrMatthewsausage said:

As of no I can think of no real benefit from the sessions except, perhaps, a slight sense of relieve.

My observation? Therapy is paying a licensed professional for an objective reality check who has the requisite skills to help you make small successive approximations towards your ultimate treatment plan goals.    Sometimes its paying someone to teach you life skills, sometimes its someone to help you communicate better; whatever the issues may be.

Its someone to help you process, to advocate for you, and offer you tools to help yourself.  Therapy, meds, there are not "quick and easy" magic fixes.  It takes time, effort, and a willingness to do things that at times are outside our comfort zones but ultimately the growth is worth the discomfort.   Hang in there and I sincerely hope you do well and begin to see some results for yourself.

[pgchollet]

 You have a lot going on around you. I'm wondering what your psychologist has to say about all of this. He or she ought to be giving you strategies and helping you build a skill set to deal with situations such as diet, communication, and your negative thinking pattern. It sounds to me that you're experiencing issues with, "learned helplessness'. Learned helplessness was first observed while observing animals.  It occurs when an animal is repeatedly subjected to an aversive stimulus that it cannot escape. Eventually, the animal will stop trying to avoid the stimulus and behave as if it is utterly helpless to change the situation. Even when opportunities to escape are presented,  learned helplessness will prevent any action. You seem to be taking action by see a psychologist but there is "seeing" a psychologist and, SEEING a psychologist.  If you feel the psychologist isn't helping you need to express your dissatisfaction, what's working and what's not. Believe me, it's the psychologist's job to help you if he or she can't then they need to refer you to someone who can. I'd suggest looking for someone who specializes In cognitive behavioral therapy, that's an acton based and will help stop you from being so immobilized and disempowered. I have a question when you say you're not being taken, 'seriously" what does that mean? What should your parents or anyone else do for you do  feel as if you're being taken, "seriously"?  Perhaps making a list of things they could do would help them and you work together. And if you're not telling your psychologist you're having thoughts of suicide , that's a MAJOR  red flag, it's  very serious.It shows that you're not being completely open with your therapist. You're expecting someone to help you and you're not  honestly expressing you feelings. Are you taking yourself seriously?

[Simon Zackrisson]

Hope your day is going alright today buddy.

Attempt to constantly channel the burst of inspiration for this life, even the smallest, just try to get any little feeling of what the fuck it is that would make you happy on this earth.

What the fuck would make you happy here? 

 

Another, shorter video that I like.

 

 

[Simon Zackrisson]

On 3/4/2016 at 4:57 PM, DrMatthewsausage said:

@Simon Zackrisson 

i don't get the feeling we are making much process. About the meds, i dont know, I'd rather not.

I understand.

I think you should perhaps say that you can't resonate with this person, that it isn't possible to have chemistry with everyone. Maybe you hate this person haha, it could be easier to state that it isn't anything personal, in order to get another person. Think about if you could get a person that truly empathized with you, that you felt you can shoot ideas too freely, that also had wisdom in regards to mental health. 

I have been guilty of this, to underestimate the potential that a psychologist can have. I think there probably isn't a need to talk about everything with a psychologist, but certain things can definitely be helpful. 
I think, at least perhaps give it a shot, so that you know what it is. And then you can quit knowing that you was man enough to try.

 

And about the meds, was kinda the same for me.

I've tried different medicine, that being the normal antidepressant type SSRI and type SNRI, but also different, such as benzodiazepines for anxiety and sleep. Sleep is still one of my arch-enemies.
I gave the antidepressant an honest shot, and it maybe helped in some sense. For me, it made me feel less in general. All emotions were reduced. I know people that, when less under attack by the grip of their depression, has used this medicine to progress their position in life and then when put in a less anxiety inducing life-setting, afterwards quit it. I think it could be a good resource in this case. I don't think it's weak, in any case I think it's weak to not have the courage to at least try something that could assist you advance to a more powerful and happy position in life.

 

What do you think?

[Isle of View]

On 3.3.2016 at 6:47 PM, DrMatthewsausage said:

I've been suffering from depression for years now and I'm only eigtheen. I also have social anxiety and depersonalization as well as eating disorders and suicidal thoughts (not very seriously but they appear in my mind from time to time).

I've told my parents this (except the suicidal thoughts) and have been going to a psychologist however I still think that they don't take it very seriously. When I ask for their help in eating healthier they say they will but they basically don't do shit, I try to control my diet as much as I can but most of it is in their hands and they keep serving horrible foods (standard western diet) that are only making my depression worse.

When I point this out to them they just get mad and start to argue with me untill I loose my shit and basically want to shout like a maniac. My dad especially also drinks every day from dinner until he goes to bed so the arguments are an incoherent mess and its even more frustrating.

This is just one example of many.

The first thing you can do is: start taking your life in your own hands. It's your responsibility what you put into your body. 

Blaming others for your condition will be never of any help for you. If you feel not understood than don't blame them for not being interested. Maybe you just look by the false people for understanding or you use your condition to "teach them a lesson". Does it really serve you?

Take a walk and look for ways how you could manage the food. Maybe you need to go alone to the supermarket. Maybe you need to take some responsibility yourself instead of waiting for others to change so you can change your condition. Believe me, they have their own conditions and feel themselves not always understood. Spread a little bit understanding and warmth.

~ Chris

[WHOAMI]

@DrMatthewsausage

 

Meditation

[Dhana Choko]

Therapy is very little to do with the person you have therapy with. There are some differences in the methods and of course the personality, but most psychologists use the same methods. Of course some people are better at using those methods than others, but healing has very little do with the therapist. Human beings are self-healing machines and given the time, dedication and space, they will heal. Psychologists main goal is to create atmosphere that facilitates healing and let the person come into the space, do their thing (heal) and leave. When this is done multiple times, there will be healing and growth. However, it is not instant and there are many inner factors at play. For example MOST people who attend therapy feel like therapy does not work - it is actually very very rare that person going to therapy acknowledges clearly what the therapy does for them. Therapy also puts into motion many processes inside one self which last multiple years after the therapy ends. Therapy, like anything else, requires a lot of perseverance and patience and you need a commitment to your own healing, even when it feels like it is going nowhere. This is where the magic begins.

"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly"

[Hengame]

@Anna I agree with you Anna those videos helped me perfectly. I was going from this trophy to next and believe me for years and a lot of money but none of them could help me even one baby step ahead. Till I found Leo e video and web site which it is nearly 9 moths I feel much stronger and more conscious on my actions and etc,,,. I am so glad that I have you all experienced people who share their experiences with me. 

[lilacwest]

Hi @DrMatthewsausage I hear you. I know what it's like to be depressed and feel no one is taking you seriously. For me, it makes me feel like I'm not going to get any real help, if no one is taking me seriously. It's like I'm saying "I don't feel well" and everyone is like "Well just deal with it". - Never mind the fact that I could commit suicide if I just can't bear it anymore.

Not that I'm in your exact situation, but it feels that way with some of the professionals I've worked with.

Tonight a friend took the time to make me feel heard and it was so rewarding. I'm actually frustrated to hear you're not feeling heard or taken seriously by your family. I am a parent of an adult son, if he was going through what you are, I would be taking it very seriously. 

Please know that you are not alone, and I know how hard it is to deal with mental health issues. 

[Mary]

I don't know what you can do about your parents. But I had depression and I've recently gotten out of it.

I read the book "feeling good" by David burns and I did the exercises in the book. The books uses cognitive techniques to shift the way you think about yourself, others and the world. It helped me a great deal in time. You can use it to learn about how you can deal with your parents too.

Wish you luck, give yourself time to get out of it

[lilacwest]

@Simon Zackrisson The 2nd video you posted - the Duncan Trussell one - Depressed - Fight for your life - it really spoke to me and made me laugh too! I was just thinking earlier today after fighting suicidal thoughts off and on all week, that I regardless of how awful I feel, I want to fight to stay alive, and I want to stop feeling so bad that I wish I was dead. (BTW I actually have mood swings, so am depressed only half of the time).

I'm going to try to keep fighting!

Oh and @DrMatthewsausage I forgot to mention I will be having good thoughts for you. Even if you still depressed down the road, I will be having good thoughts for you and I truly wish you well.

[100rockets]

@DrMatthewsausage There is a lot of good advice on this thread. I dont know if I can add much but just want to say I understand where you are coming from. It's important that you don't get stuck on how other people even your parents are treating you or helping you to improve, this can get you stuck in a cycle of self pity and anger for a long time. Instead take charge of your own health so that you can live the best life possible, it seems from your post that you are already trying to do that so thats great! One thing that can be very helpful is visualization. If you make it a practice to visualize where you want to be a few years ahead every day you may realize that you start to come up with creative ways to move towards that. There is plenty of information online about this and I believe that LEO has a video on this topic as well.

20 hours ago, DrMatthewsausage said:

@Kelley White I don't know if another psychologist would be the best thing to do. I've only been there a handful of times and it is my impression that it might get better since we are still just getting to know each other. As of no I can think of no real benefit from the sessions except, perhaps, a slight sence of relieve.

As for the plan, it's vague, I don't really have concrete steps to take.

You don't have to come up with a big plan right away, just take some small steps. For example, can you go to the supermarket with your mom and pick out some healthy foods?

Also, you said that you suffer from social anxiety. I don't have advice on that specifically, maybe if you post a topic for that alone you can get more information from other users but for general anxiety and stress you can try yoga. It can help you with stress, sleep and your overall mood.

I hop this helps, stay strong