Rage is getting in my way

[h inandout]

I can't stay focused anymore.  I am so tired of faking happy to get by when my situation is constantly spiraling downwards.  I can't advocate for myself anymore when I feel like a ticking time bomb.  I can't just ask for what I need without spewing hate at anybody.  Is there anyone who can validate my anger without taking it personally?  Am I supposed to live on the street?

[Shin]

Why are you so mad ?

[h inandout]

People downplaying the complexity of the shit I have to wade through certainly is a continued trigger.

Having to pretend I'm happy when I am so very not happy with the way things are playing out is a massive amplifier.

I don't know anyone who is able to empathize with long term anger and disenfranchisement.  It would be nice to meet someone who gets it.

[nick96]

@h inandout

I also have a lot of anger still inside of me. It is there to cover the grief. 

For a lot of time I never expressed anger but in the last year I let myself explode a lot of times and let out the rage even if it had no logic whatsoever with what was going on in the present moment. Often I also cried after expressing anger.

What helped me to deal with it was mostly reading a book called radical honesty and attending a few radical honesty workshops. There I met conscious people that could understand that emotions don't necessarily need a reason to be there and I was able to learn how to deal with them better.