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NJM50

I Want To Get Better At Relationships/Attracting Women, Where Do I Begin?

23 posts in this topic

I am an 18 year old male and would consider myself as a decent looking guy. Problem is, I have no idea how to attract the opposite sex (long & very toxic high school relationship). Leo has expressed the negatives of pickup so I am hesitant to look too much into that. I'm curious to how fellow self-actualisers would approach this problem, rather than looking it up on the internet.

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Get your habits in order.  Work on your social skills. Start getting out of your comfort zone. Things will fall into place. 


You can't be enlightened, no one can.;)

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All you gotta do is NoFap.

Things start falling into place after a while, you’ll see ;)

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@NJM50

You need experience. There's no way around this.

Look, you don't have to like pickup. But considering the place you're starting from, unless you have another way to meet massive amounts of girls and interact with them, what really are your options?

At some point you have to be practical.

Leo never said don't do pickup. He has encouraged guys to do it in the past and continues to. From what I've seen, he main concern is just that guys never evolve out of it.


My name is Austin Kourakin. Life Coach with a passion for personal development.

Check out my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeimIF08Jl8OPJ6JVzmYudQ

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First be comfortable in your own skin, love yourself, trust yourself and they will all love you back :) Be the Magnet.


All is well

🕉

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@NJM50 This channel has some good advice. It's called Tripp Advice. 

 

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I would probably try to figure out specifically what i am not so good at and then start pratice on my weaknesses 

maybe also to figure out if there is anything that i might fear or for example getting rejected really try to dig deep and find out as many areas realted to dating that i might have a fear of and then try to achive real growth with them so they become a none issue and fully feel every emotion with zero resistance I don't think unfortunately that things just fall in to place but it may be useful to be deliberate and consciously about your decisions (as long as it isn't in a neurotic way) in away try to become aware of all the obstacles you have and then try to overcome them :)

but I haven't done any research except for what i already know so there may be better ways, that would be my approach without looking stuff up on the internet :) 

Edited by BjarkeT

eventual you have to bite the bullet 

leaving your comfort zone might be painful in the process but the rewards can be extraordinary_bjarke tan

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get more specific on what you want. its all in the details. begin there.


trumpets #toowokeforthisshit

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Hello. I can offer you a females perspective.

Because your comment is very general its hard to give specific advice, however in my experience visualisation is such an incredible tool for getting what you want out of life. Start doing daily visualisation of how you want to be around women and how you want them to respond to you. Then let go of thinking about it too much and go about your day. Some weird magical universal stuff happens where your visualisations start coming to life effortlessly. Two years after I started it I have fully transformed into the person I wanted to be and men respond to me the way I imagine.

Here is an epic tool i found that I hope helps you...

 

 

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@Sippycup

Hey sippycup, these are some of the best ones I have found so far. You might enjoy em.

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Come on Man, I know you are lack of experience, but what the heck, start at any point Man. Dont think that you need to attract girls. Just be yourself. Dont need to change yourself to attract girls. That part will come when you are in a relationship. Other day I was reading a blog. Here is the link: https://loveama.com/blog

You can check it if you want to get a good insight.

But dont think of changing yourself, at least, not yet.

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Take the hard way.

Focus on yourself, on what you want to do in life (life purpose), get in line with it.

Get some healthy hobbies (meditation, reading (self-help/spiritual books), martial art etc ...), and quit the toxic ones (tv, porn/masturbation, junk food, low conscious friends, social medias etc ...).
Each month you should start and quit one.

Have a morning routine, or if your job makes you start early, a "I got home" routine, where you do all the daily habits in a row.

Honestly if you do that, instead of chasing pussies for the sake of chasing pussies because you think you need one in your life (or severals), then you'll get attractive FOR REAL.

You shouldn't even want to get girls now, let alone have a relationship, you have way more important stuff to do than that ...
I would say that until you stop thinking and feeling that you need a girl (sexually or emotionally) to be happy/complete you, then you shouldn't even try to get one.

Your first goal should always be your purpose and enlightenment, then your habits, then women.
Otherwise you're setting yourself for a life of pussy chasing, and it will never work.
 

Edited by Shin

Everything you want
Is on the other side of fear

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@Shin maybe you could stop referring to women as "pussy". It's very de-humanising and his question was about getting better at relationships / being attractive. 

Something that will make him attractive is if he never refers to a human being as "pussy".

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15 minutes ago, Sippycup said:

@Shin maybe you could stop referring to women as "pussy". It's very de-humanising and his question was about getting better at relationships / being attractive. 

Something that will make him attractive is if he never refers to a human being as "pussy".

 

It's supposed to be.
It's a negative term chose on purpose, because that's exactly how you see women if you're a needy or a douchebag guy.
That's what you get if you don't take care of yourself as a man, by default.

You're right though, I project a lot of my own issues when I answer here, but I just really don't want someone to loose so much time on this, worst than that getting lost in it for years or decades (I see guys like this very often).
When a guy come to this part of the forum, and see this thread, most of the time he will think like this "what can I do on the short-mid term to get better with women", and not "what can I do to remove the problem at the source even if it take me 5 years of emotional labor".

Edited by Shin

Everything you want
Is on the other side of fear

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@Shin

Oh! I didn't see the satire straight away. My bad. Thanks for explaining.

And yep. Ironically you probably get the best you can be with women when you forgo them all together. 

Have a good day. Xx

 

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