Ground Hoggin’

[Martin Phil Connors]

Hello fellow travellers!

This is going to be my blog mostly about day-to-day adventures in various psychological addictions, procrastination, learning, forgetting and so on.

First off, english is not my first language. Also, as to not be slowed down too much I need to write what I’m thinking and not worry too much about which words I use. If anyone reading this doesn’t understand please ask me what I meant!

For me the biggest point of this blog is the feeling of accountability and opening up my otherwise rather solipsistic process of trying to improve and make it more connected to other people.

Next update tomorrow

Sincerely Ned Ryerson

Listening to Vince Gill’s wonderful album ”Next Big Thing”

[Martin Phil Connors]

Today’s topic: Forming a writing habit

So my plan is to let the writing of this blog be a main tool in a more methodic approach to development. Therefore, writing consistently is top priority.

In order to make this reality I will with each blog update decide when the next update is due. I’m leaning towards writing everyday when I have the night off, which means about four times a week (irregular work schedule).

Also I will use a habit tracking app on my phone. I plan to use this for other habits as well in the near future.

I realize that, at least in the beginning, I will keep the posts rather short. Although I have the experience of writing my thoughts privately, this format demands some preciseness in language, so the writing of a few paragraphs takes me quite some time. I view this as something good as it hopefully will help me to be clearer in my thinking. Maybe with experience I will be able to go into more depth about the topics at hand.

Typically I look forward to writing during the day, and then when I sit down to write I feel kind of awkward. I have found that just starting to write down my immediate thoughts, no matter their content, quickly eases me into the writing mode and the awkwardness vanishes. I expect to be using this strategy many times in the weeks to come.

So that will be it for today. My next update will be two days from now on friday.

See you around folks and keep up the good vibes!

[Martin Phil Connors]

Hello internet people!

Topic: Living space

So to move forward in Life I need to get some basics in order. One of the most obvious ones is the place where I spend most of my time: at home. I live in a small apartment by myself. While I like it here the place is in no order and I know from experience that when I manage to keep it tidy and uncluttered it seems to make other tasks easier.

There are three main things I need to get straight:

• There’s too much stuff! Many things I don’t use, need or really want. But I keep them around ”just in case”.
• Organizing the things I’m gonna keep so it’s all easy to find, and living here is practical
• Keeping the order; putting things away when I’m not using something, throwing trash away, hang and fold clothing, doing the dishes daily, deciding what to do with new stuff like papers that I bring home, not letting things pile up

Making all this happen may be both easier and harder than I expect in different ways. I have tried before and something I have definitely lacked is long time resolve and persistance.

There are issues I will need to face. Like overcoming my fear of interacting with people if I’m going to try to sell something for example. Or parting with objects that I have some attachment to.

Now, I’m going to start with what is easiest in order to get some momentum going. That will be to throw away trash, doing the dishes, put away clothes that are out. There are also a few surfaces, like tables that I am committed to keep clear from all things I am not actively using at any moment.

I will combine these actions as a daily cleaning habit in the habit tracking app on my phone.

(By the way when I fail to do something that I have committed to in the tracking app I will write about it here. So far there are three things I’m keeping track of: writing these posts, going to the gym and now tidying up)

The next step will be to tackle a pile of papers and magazines. I want to be started with this next step by tomorrow.

Okay, this will do for now

I will be back writing tomorrow

Rock and Roll Never Dies!

[Martin Phil Connors]

Topic: momentum

In my mind I thought I would have done a lot of things by this time of the day but that is really not the case. So now I have to look at where I am and what I need to do to go in the direction I want.

Too little is happening and I feel like I’m sleepwalking through the day. Then I start to push things forward instead of acting right away. This state of mind/being also goes hand in hand with behaviors like taking naps during the day, playing computer games and so on.

How to break this? I could use some ambition. Some purpose.

I’m gonna use the habit tracker for two challenges: no resting (lying down) except for regular sleeping hours and no computer games for two weeks.

When I want to lie down I’m usually a little tired. So instead I have the option of going out for a short walk to pick up my energy levels.

This will not in itself make me do more things, it will just, if I succeed, keep me away from two of my most persistent distractions.

To get into the groove I want to be in I need to cut out distractions on more levels, not just those big things. It’s the mindset that you’re doing one thing at a time. So when I’m planning my day in the morning, then that’s what I’m doing. In between activities I need to be mindful of where I’m going next so I don’t space out in some way.

I’ve tried these things before and I know it will work wonders if I really do it. The tricky thing is that I start making excuses and exceptions and that way it will never work.

Now this gives me some idea of the general direction I want to go tomorrow, the details I’ll have to figure out as I go along. I imagine I’ll be using writing and meditation to keep me on track.

Next update will be tomorrow

Peace!

[Martin Phil Connors]

So here I go again. Having put off writing for a couple of hours, I’m glad that I’m finally doing it.

This is how it usually goes - I get excited about an idea, and then after a couple of days the shine wears off.

I was hoping that today I would be more active, but the results are not that good - I’ve been sleeping two times during the day, the opposite of what I proclaimed yesterday. I have not been focused.

Well at least I haven’t played any computer games and I feel confident that I will keep my promise of abstaining for two weeks. In fact, I would probably benefit from going an even longer period without playing. Still, I like there to be a time limit, so after I have done my two weeks I might go up to two months and from there maybe longer.

Days like today will come repeatedly until I figure out how to deal with them, or should I say how to deal with myself.

I have had success on some occasions in the past in simular situations. Typically I have a problem to get the day going when I’m not working. If I have something to do later in the day it’s sometimes even harder because I don’t like waiting.

So what has been the difference on the more succesful days? One thing that can tip my behaviors in the right direction is having some good karma from the previous day. I’m in a more curious and contented state if I ended the previous day in a good mood thanks to keeping in line and not falling prey to excesses like staying up too late, or if I had an intention to do something and then not following through.

Generally on the days that are more successful I have more energy and drive to make things happen, and a more focused and disciplined mind, more easily making decisions and not pondering on every little detail.

This might be a question of different moods on different days. Maybe, other than doing my best on the previous day, I can’t control what kind of mood I have when I wake up.

Well if that’s the case then I can’t sit around and wait for a better mood to come along. I know the morning can be a hard time for me. So I need something to boost my energy a little bit. So taking a walk in the morning could help with that. I wanted to try this the other day, however I stayed in bed. In order to make it easier I could get up and drink my morning coffee first and the go for a walk. 

A specific time for when to go out would be helpful. When I drink coffe I will have time to do some planning of the day.

Then when I get home again what to do? I like meditating, in the morning I usually get sleepy after a little while so probably not much longer than 20 minutes.

At this stage there will be a great temptation again to lie down and rest. And what’s the harm? If I have nothing else planned... The problem is that if I go to rest for half an hour that might turn into one hour or two hours.

One option is to go for a second walk. This seems a little silly, but if that is what it takes for me to wake up then alright.

Next post will be in two days.

Adios!

[Martin Phil Connors]

Again I’m back after having procrastinated. Well, better late than never. This will be a short update.

Sleeping during the day is one of my biggest (or at least most obvious) obstacles to moving forward, therefore I want to have this as a goal, to not lie down and rest. Usually I’m no good at keeping promises to myself or creating goals but I want to figure out a way to do this.

I’ll be back tomorrow writing about this subject.

[Martin Phil Connors]

I was supposed to write yesterday and I didn’t do it. It was just a matter of time before that would happen. Now it’s time to get back in the saddle again.

It’s not just that I haven’t been writing. I have acted in several ways opposite to the standards I’m trying to set.

I’ll have to scale back a little bit. No more computer games tonight. And tomorrow I will have to renew that promise, can’t just make promises and take them for granted.

Today I have managed to stay awake and not lying down to rest, this is very good.

Right now I have to do things and not write about it.

Rushing through this because I feel stressed about having wasted a lot of time today.

Next time monday.