Dating On Internet

[Ikramini]

Hi, everybody... I am new in this forum, yet I am listening Leo on daily bases ..

I have been in wonderful state of mind, have been working on my self for more than 11 years time.. I hear from everyone I come across, that I m a blessing ..

My work needs to have the skype always on , and on skype I always get proposals to add people from all over the world yet, I immediately block them ,, one day I have no clue why, I accepted one and started  chatting. he even didn't seem so interesting at the beginning  yet something hidden stopped me from deleting him.. day in day out he started to be interesting and sort of trust between us was built.. He was so limited in showing him self for reasons, at that time, seemed reasonable, although I didn't like that and didn't feel comfortable about it.. We went on to the extent that we made a commitment  .. I have almost renounced marriage after two experiences which didn't work.. yet This man seemed to me so pure and innocent..

 He quite his job, the one  he wasn't interested in, and booked a fly to come to where I live, we were committed to live together.. when he called from the place where he landed first as transit, something came over me and I felt that this was a trick and I even heard his voice as if he was so young, younger than the age I thought he was.. so I acted so rudely telling him honestly what I felt..He was shocked and tried to clear my fears, yet I was so unwilling to even to listen more of him, spite I was so honest all the time with him, but I felt there is something wrong,  rejected his continuous clarifications and could see any clarity at the time..   ..  so he booked again back to his country which took him almost two days ... He sent me an email which I felt after reading it that I know nothing about my self, and I felt that I really made the mistake of my life... I am healing now,, going back to all the techniques I learned through out my spiritual journey, as well as  listening to Gura, Ekhart Tolle, Ihaleakala, and Osho .yet I felt I would like to share this at this forum ... I still dont know why did I act like that,, was it something right, to avoid making fun of my self , or was it the effect of my failures in my past marriages, or even if it was  a mistake that I did because I am not to focus on intimate relationship , was he the same man I was chatting with or was he a symbol and I just hav made the right choice before i is too late.. Have become a solid soul like a rock as he described me in his email, or my doubts were true ! I am working on my self to not depending on any one or anything again..

[Rosie]

@Ikramini I believe that you can't get know a person on Skype or by phone calls. I think you can meet and see how this works, but you never know how the other really is whats the truth of what he says. I think it's great that you were honest. I think you saved yourself from a possible emotional disaster. It also sounds a bit insane that he quit his job even before you have met. I think you fell in love with the possibility of a love.
You need to put yourself to a higher scale. The only reason why you choose this guy it's because unconsciously you did not believe you would deserve anything better. Work on your confidence girl, that's what you really need.
 

[Ikramini]

Thank you Rosie.. What u have said also came to my mind, when I tried to see why did this happen..

I have been couching so many and getting so many out of disappointments out of same situations , can you believe it.. may be I got high ego that not one can break me ..

I am working now on understanding myself even better.. thanks  for your feed back ... it is so precious to feel that what I wrote here has a response of such high level of understanding...

[Rosie]

@Ikramini Dear, YOU ARE AMAZING, tell that every single day to yourself,
Look in the mirror when you put on your jeans and say: Wow I have a hot ass in these jeans
when you pass by the mirror say: wow what a smile, looking hot today,
Recognise your values, YOU HAVE BILLIONS and compliment them.
You had 2 divorces? so what, You played puzzle, and you tried to match pieces with seemed to match but it did not match. When you your niece tries to match puzzles which doesn't mach, I'm pretty sure you tell her, its not a problem as it will fit with other pieces.   JUST LIKE YOU. NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU.So no worries, you are an amazing unique human being, you just need to remind yourself for that

[Jesper]

Watch out with random people that try to contact you on Skype, there are a lot of scammers out there - people who will try to make them love you and then they start asking for money.

There are so many stories of people who sent thousands, or even tens of thousands of dollars to someone they met randomly online and that they thought they were in love with, but who they have never met in reality and who turn out to be just trying to scam you out of your money.

[Ikramini]

I didn't expect that my topic will meet that interest.. But what resonates so much with me is Mr. Haris Pipinis comment, as, I have learned a lot about my self through this experience,, I got interested in that person, that is true, but I didn't lose my mind. I was alert all the time as how the human nature acts, not only reg. the other person. but also reg, me.. I am in a spiritual journey since long time, but cant claim that I approached the balance yet.. This experience has given me a deep understanding of my self and my needs and how the data in my mind can create  a whole world and how that we deceive ourselves with our eyes opened.. yes, it was an adventure and I enjoyed the results and loved myself even more than before..I am so immune now !! I can tell a lot about such experience through a real story... 

Thanks to all the friends for the wonderful comments