Not depressed, just tired of living ?

[Hermes Trismegistus]

Hello, guys.

 

During the last couple of years, something click on my mind, and made me change how I view my life. It happen around the time when I turned eighteen, it was more than the classic existential crisis that most of us have during that age, with the pressure of what to do, or what to major on, in college. Instead, I think my mind went the other way with this idea of life being void of meaning. The bottom line is, I am tired of living. To be more specific, I am not depressed (or at least I do not think I am), but I would not mind just dying and saving myself the suffering that comes with life.  Just a little info on me, my life is going alright, currently in college, have nice hobbies, an active lifestyle, and not a horrible family.  However, just thinking about having to work for many years, responsibilities, doing meaningless task until the day I die, does not seem worth the suffering that comes with it, at least not to me. This kind of mindset, is constantly creeping on my mind, and have taken a toll on my happiness level. Even feeling like a victim at times, but most importantly, makes life feel like a constant uphill battle. Which just helps and feeds even more into this idea of life not being worth the trouble.

 

What I am saying, is that I would not mind dying, and saving myself all the trouble. At the same time I am not planning my suicide or anything like that. Going through the motions of life, or this “journey”,  all the ups and downs. It just seems like a waste of time, for the same result. Death.

 

What do you guys think ? Would appreciate any insight on this. 

[daniel695]

death is easy.. living is hard. sometimes i also think is it worth all the trouble but i find the few things that keep me going and imagine it all been worth while. i like to imagine this been part of the big picture of my over all growth in my journey as a consciousness being. have you tried to find your life purpose or done leos course? or even thought about your passion because all the trouble will be worth it if its something your passionate about. 9-5 jobs can be meaningless and realizing that will be even harder to do or life a good life. 

[Sevi]

1 hour ago, daniel695 said:

death is easy.. living is hard.

Wow.. you took me to the places, that I haven't been visiting for some time..

There is this poem by this French poet Louis Aragon:  (I'll write just a piece of it-

 

 

 

...

I'll tell you a big secret:I'm scared of you..

Scared of what companies you.. to the windows at night..

gestures.. words.. you do not say..

that I'm afraid of time.. time that goes fast; time that is slow..

I'm afraid of you..

 

I'll tell you a big secret, close the doors

It's easier to die than love

And that is the reason, that I bear this living,

My love

 

 

 

 

Edited December 25, 2017 by Sevi

[Shin]

This is depression, it's not because you aren't all emo about it that it isn't.

Just buy the life purpose course and do it dilligently, start meditation and mindfulness work, spend more time in nature.

At some point you will laugh at the fact you had those kind of thoughts, there is so much to life if you don't live it as a sheep.

[Guest Annetta]

I think people who have the luxury of a normal life without the suffering of poverty, severe illness, ect ect, and still can't find happiness with what they're given are selfish.  But not selfish in the way the mind conjures up the word, but Self-ish. 

You might need to find something to live for that is outside of the routine humdrum of life.  Whatever that might be for you.  As for death, I would hold off on that as a peaceful death is a gift and how you live life will dictate that - here's why:

"List ye, O man, drink of my wisdom. 
Learn ye the secret that is Master of Time.
Learn ye how those ye call Masters are 
able to remember the lives of the past. 
Great is the secret yet easy to master, 
giving to thee the mastery of time. 
When upon thee death fast approaches, 
fear not but know ye are master of Death.
Relax thy body, resist not with tension. 
Place in thy heart the flame of thy Soul. 
Swiftly then sweep it to the seat of the triangle. 
Hold for a moment, then move to the goal. 
This, thy goal, is the place between thine eyebrows, 
the place where the memory of life must hold sway. 
Hold thou thy flame here in thy brain-seat
until the fingers of Death grasp thy Soul. 
Then as thou pass through the state of transition, 
surely the memories of life shall pass, too.
Then shalt the past be as one with the present. 
Then shall the memory of all be retained. 
Free shalt thou be from all retrogression. 
The things of the past shall live in today."

 

Edited December 26, 2017 by Annetta

[Nahm]

@Hermes Trismegistus do what you want, what you like. That’s no trouble. 

[Omni]

Quote

However, just thinking about having to work for many years, responsibilities, doing meaningless task until the day I die,

This... This right here is your problem - nothing else within your lines of text will be more of an self-explanatory answer than this sentence right here.

Find what you LOVE. Not just something that you enjoy doing as a meaningless side hobby, but you must fully immerse yourself with a task - whatever it may be and completely lose your sense of self whilst doing so. Find that one thing, build a habit out of it, make it your bedrock/foundation. Build from that and let 'hard work and doing meaningless tasks' only be a reminder of why you want to do what you love.

If you put yourself in uncomfortable positions, you will acclimate yourself - This being said, bask in all of it. The good, the bad, the worst. It's all apart of life and you are experiencing it all.

Your desire to be 'comfortable' and 'saving the suffering that comes with life' is in your mind, that is YOUR frame of reference. Now Imagine how many people would kill to have the opportunity in which you sit and almost be able to seemingly make gold out of nothing with the things that you take for granted on an hourly basis. You must first humble yourself and understand true suffering. Not just the monotony that you feel is suffering.

[Hermes Trismegistus]

6 hours ago, Nahm said:

@Hermes Trismegistus do what you want, what you like. That’s no trouble. 

At the end, it doesn't even matter. 

[Nahm]

@Hermes Trismegistus  perhaps you were not meant to work your life away. I know i wasn’t. 

[Hermes Trismegistus]

Thanks, for the feedback everyone.  My life purpose is still not so clear to me, and as many have pointed out, this is the main reason that I can not see the "magic" in life.  Guess is time to get to work...

[Faceless]

Seems that one who was tired of living wasn’t actually living. So figure out how to live.??‍♂️

 

[sgn]

On 2017-12-27 at 6:21 AM, Hermes Trismegistus said:

At the end, it doesn't even matter. 

So? Why does it need to? It matters now for you. Did your best moments in life really matter in some other way than that you felt happy?
Think of when you played as a child and had fun.  Did it have any deeper meaning? Do that matter in the end?
No. Because you were in the moment and didn't have to make up some meaning and if it would matter in the future.
Are you saying you need existence to have meaning or just your life?

[sgn]

12 hours ago, Faceless said:

Seems that one who was tired of living wasn’t actually living. So figure out how to live.??‍♂️

 

That's deep.

[Hermes Trismegistus]

@Faceless   Great way to put it

[Hermes Trismegistus]

@sgn Loved that comparison to when we were children, and weren't looking for meaning in everything. 

I was referring to existence by the way, however, I think that would be just beating a dead horse

[star ark]

I didn't enjoy sensible chores when i was your age. Now I'm about a decade older than you and I have finally hit that "lame middle aged guy" mentality where I enjoy having a job to do, I almost always seek out more challenging work because I enjoy the at least trying to do the honorable thing, Your idea of "may as well die because I will have to do some work in the future" is troubling, maybe check out some people who didn't want to die who unfortunately did and decide if you really believe it.

[The black sheep]

On 25-12-2017 at 6:57 AM, Hermes Trismegistus said:

just thinking about having to work for many years, responsibilities, doing meaningless task until the day I die, does not seem worth the suffering that comes with it, at least not to me.

The second word is your issue. You think too much. It’s simply just the ego being lost and you identify yourself with the ego. Don’t forget that you are not the chattering mind, not at all. Right now you are a puppet of the mind and all of its random and consuming thoughts. Like your whole life morfs from thoughts and if you have no control over those thoughts you’re lost. The mind/ego Feeds on the past and future and starves in the present moment and eventually dissolves after a while. 

Pay attention to this:

when you are thinking about having to work for many years, when does this thinking happen? In the present moment. So whenever you think of the past or future you are doing it in the now, the present moment but the funny thing is that you are not present. If you are present there are no thoughts, there are no confusions, there are no bad vibrations. Also, life is full of opportunities, most of the sheeps miss those opportunities because they are not aware of them being right in front of them. They are stuck in their unconscious way of thinking and dwelling in the past or future. 

Conclusion:

meditate, meditate every day. After a while you will be present and eventually your chakras will open and then watch your life transform enormously. Just by simply meditating. 

Goodluck and I wish you the very best.