Eva

Drifting away from my family

4 posts in this topic

I've never been too close to my childhood family. I'm seeing them once-twice a week, talking with them about pretty shallow stuff, since I've never in my life felt like I have become accepted by them. Recently things have gotten a whole lot worse since I'm developing spiritually. I have real trouble being around these people. All they do is criticize other people and talk sh*t about other people. Extremely rarely do they talk about themselves or developing on the inside. I'm not trying to be holier than thou, and I've tried really hard to be patient with them. Trying to direct the conversation to more optimistic things and trying to remind them that other people are people too. And I've tried to apply that to myself too. I'm just starting to be so tired of them. And the holidays are coming, I'm getting bummed out by having to spend time with their negativity. I've watched Leo's videos about "exploiting other people to grow myself" and toxic, victim mindset people, and it helps a bit. I'm just...

I'm not trying to be a better person than them, but I'm starting to be really tired. They are not bad people, but I don't appreciate them criticizing me and others all the freaking time.

What can I do to manage with them?

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Stop wanting them to change. 

This stuff happens beneath the surface. When you see things working good for you and see the results of your personal development, of course, how can you not want to help and tell people about this. The problem is, unless they have a very open mind, in general people are very closed to this kind of work. 

When you have the constant attitude of 'I'm the more developed person' this will colour your vision and every time you look at someone ithere will be this belief, meaning and value attached to them. Rather than seeing them from a Being perspective (The way that they actually are) you are seeing them through that judgement that you have already made up about them. (Watch Leo's video on Being perspective vs Deficiency perspective if you want to know more about this)  which then alters the way you see them. Learn to see them in the exact way of them appearing to you. Be mindful of your emotional reactions of things they say, and be caring and compassionate towards them. Radiate that love that you are cultivating on your personal development journey. Who knows, it might affect them in such a way that they start to change in front of your eyes

I have the same thing with my younger brother, he is 13 now and is very much into the toxic kind of habits and behaviour that you are talking about. What I do is try to look beyond his pretence and love him with all my heart. Not because I want to fix him or 'make him better' , but because I love him. He is the little troublemaker I grew up with so I want to give him all the love and care before we become more distant and I get my own place.


In the depths of winter,
I finally learned that within me 
there lay an invincible summer.

- Albert Camus

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@Eva say what you think in a very gentle way.

say that you're growing up and that you find it ugly to talk about someone else's life.

you can be sincere. just be humble. you don't need to be rude.


unborn Truth

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