Introducing and starting my journey

[EyeOfTheStorm]

Hey guys and gals!

Just wanted to introduce myself. Been a long time lurker on this forum and read probably about every thread here

I found about meditation, enlightenment and awakening about 2 month ago while being in a depressive state. I started with Oshos books. I read about 8 of them and got really obsessed with it. I had now clue what he was talking about, so I googled around like crazy and read up about enlightenment, awakening and meditation. I was always curious what our life purpose is. But that opened my eyes a bit. Then I found this forum and read through all the topics etc. plus watching @Leo Gura‘s Videos.

I started meditating right away for 2x30min a day (concentration on breathing/Vipassana). Right now I do the awakening prologue of Holosync for 30min a day (on week 1) paired with “do nothing” and SDS (as good as I can ). In my daily routine I add mindfulness if I think about it. 

My next steps would be to add self inquiry and maybe trying some mushrooms or 5-meo-dmt. I also bought Eckart Tolles “Now” book and Ramana Maharshis “What am I” to read. 

I really try to hit it hard. Full force!

I am a very disciplined person. Probably cause I am a strength athlete (Powerlifting, Squat 515lbs, Bench 330lbs and Deadlift 530lbs). Which makes it also hard to unidentify with my body and ego. I found that out already  

Oh, I am 29y/o, an insurance sales manager and from Germany

So my plan for the next month would be:

Á day:

- 1h meditation (SDS+do nothing+Holosync)

- 30min self inquiry 

- mindfulness throughout the day 

What do you think about that?

I would appreciate every help that i can get on my journey. 

Thank you so much!

[snowleopard]

@EyeOfTheStorm If you haven't checked it out already, I recommend Leo's wonderful video about strange loops, as such strange loops are a perfect example and symbol of the paradox of awakening, in that they seem to have two separate sides of an apparent duality, which in actuality are the same side, and exist in unity. So if one imagines being on one side, let's call it the unawakened state, it seems as if the other side is the opposite of that, and somehow difficult to attain, and one wonders how to get to the other side, that there must be some magic trick to it. And so one diligently traverses the 'unawakened' side, ever hopeful of finding the secret of getting to the 'awakened' side, not realizing that there are never actually two sides. That it was the same side all along. There is only the state of being what you never actually were not, except insofar as it is strangely imagined to be otherwise.  And then one may have a good laugh about it!

This is what Ramana Maharshi meant when he said: "There is no greater mystery than this: always being Reality, we seek to attain Reality. We think that there is something hiding Reality and rather it must be overcome before the Reality is gained. It is ridiculous. A day will dawn when you will laugh at all your past efforts. That which will be the day you laugh is also here and now."

Meanwhile, it's hard to go wrong with some consistent self-inquiry in quiet contemplation, and practicing compassion ... and just keep on traversing the strange loop that only apparently has two sides.

Edited December 8, 2017 by snowleopard

[EyeOfTheStorm]

@snowleopard thx for your answer  ja, I am that far. I read (not seen/realized) that there is just one site. The problem is obviously the realizing process/unfogging the mind lol 

[snowleopard]

@EyeOfTheStorm Ah well, perhaps half the process is realizing that there is such a realization. But maybe best not to have some fixated expectation of how that has to happen, or appear. Keep the faith ... Hopefully the good news is that there isn't really a right or wrong direction on a strange loop. Either way, one gets back to the future   

Btw, love the choice of name the 'eye of the storm' which also makes for a great metaphor. If one imagines the storm to be a strange loop, then it seems that the stillness at the center may be the best perspective from which to grok that the two sides are not-two.

 

 

Edited December 8, 2017 by snowleopard

[EyeOfTheStorm]

@snowleopard Thank you  I appreciate it/and your time. 

[Azrael]

Hey man,

good to have you on board. Being a strength athlethe will probably help you with the discipline of having a practice, that's nice. But you also probably know as strength athlete that you cannot do a 515lbs squat in the first week of training, it takes time to get there.

That being said I can really recommend taking things slowely. Watch Leo's video on Backsliding. It's critical in every phase of the journey to slowely increase the practice so that you can adjust to it, if you wanna increase it at all.

In my personal experinece I've found that the "success" you have on your spiritual journey does not fit the amount of practices you do, but more so a genuie interest and holistic integration of spirituality into your day-to-day life - basically you gotta love that shit and connect eveything you do with it. Then it hits home because you see every aspect of your life change.

Meditation, self-enquiry and the other formal methods are powerful and at least one should be applied to make sure you get the momentum going, but the will to wanna know will bring you much further because it'll occupy your mind until you have the answer.

If it doesn't really itch you to know who you are, you'll never find out. That's the key here. All of the other techniques and little games we play here with ourselves just support that very fact.

So, go slower. You'll spend at least the next few years with this stuff until shit gets really crazy and you'll need that time to integrate the change. My general recommendtation is the following:

Have one or two formal practices going (in the beginning) while reading up / listening to all of the good material that is out there from teachers, old teachings, modern stuff. My all time favourites are Alan Watts, Rupert Spira, Mooji and @Leo Gura . You can spend the next two years just exploring their material on YouTube and in books. You'll be highly educated if you do. And that's just a few. There are probably hundreds if not thousands of other good sources if you are willing to investigate. Find your sources.

That being said, have a good journey and don't go to fast. It's a journey, not a race. Nowhere to get to, nowhere to start.

[Martin123]

8 minutes ago, Azrael said:

genuie interest and holistic integration of spirituality into your day-to-day life

Honestly how isnt this more emphasized in here, golden words bro.

[Nahm]

@EyeOfTheStorm disciplined, healthy, recently read 8 Osho books, meditating, self inquiring.....great foundation!

...?....Wait till you see man!!!!! SOOO excited for you. ❤️?

[Max_V]

This journey is one of the most beautiful and amazing experiences you will have in life.

Doing the inquiry and reading the books will eventually pay back hunderdfolds 

So feel the beauty that it brings and enjoy the process 

Good luck and very awesome you are interested in this.

[EyeOfTheStorm]

@Azrael Thank you for those words. I always like to read your lengthy answers I got a few questions to that if you don’t mind.  

1. How can I really make myself wonder who I am? I mean I know that there is something that is “covered” etc. but how can I actually really make myself wonder? 

2. Do you think my plan so far is set up well or is it too much “stuff”? Cause you said “go slower”? When should I introduce psychedelics?

3. How would I integrate spirituality in my every day life? With mindfulness?

Thank you man. I really appreciate it!

[EyeOfTheStorm]

@Nahm Thank you  I’ll hope I’ll be able to one day. It’s all I really want. 

@Max_V Thank you  

 

[Shin]

2 minutes ago, EyeOfTheStorm said:

@Azrael 

1. How can I really make myself wonder who I am? I mean I know that there is something that is “covered” etc. but how can I actually really make myself wonder? 

 

Quote

3. How would I integrate spirituality in my every day life? With mindfulness?

Yes, you just have to force yourself to be conscious of your thoughts and your emotions without judging them.

Unless you can do that naturally all the time, your capacity to self-inquire is very limited, it will be 99% mindstuff.

 

[Joseph Maynor]

Nice to see you’re excited to do this work.  It’s the best investment in you that you can make.

[Max_V]

@Shin I’ve been really taking up this practice. The first day I was almost mindful the entire day but right now I can sense my mind going back to it’s normal state and way of operating. 

How can I integrate this succesfully in my every day life without ‘forgetting’ ?

[Shin]

35 minutes ago, Max_V said:

@Shin I’ve been really taking up this practice. The first day I was almost mindful the entire day but right now I can sense my mind going back to it’s normal state and way of operating. 

How can I integrate this succesfully in my every day life without ‘forgetting’ ?

By doing it again until it's natural.
You can also be conscious of everything you're doing, not just your thoughts/emotions.
Like every step you take, when you wash something, the touch of your fingers when you write/read, when you eat/drink, the wind/sunlight on your face, the possibilities are infinite.

Now don't think because you have lots of thoughts that you have "lost it", if you are conscious with lots of thoughts, even drama, that's fine.
It's even great, because you can practice and go deeper like you never did. 

The thing you want to know more intimately is the thing that is conscious of your thoughts, so if you're conscious of it, it doesn't matter what is happening.
The need for a "clear mind" is utter bullshit, even masters have thoughts.

Edited December 8, 2017 by Shin

[EyeOfTheStorm]

@Shin Thx for that. Ja, I read that Guide, it’s still Hard to really get me wondering. I know the feeling of really wondering, it’s just hard to project it on myself. 

Alright, so then my plan to be more mindful everyday is not that wrong

@Joseph Maynor Mega excited! Didn’t miss a meditation session since I started. If that means I have to do it at 2 in the morning I do it. 

[Nahm]

@EyeOfTheStorm

1. How can I really make myself wonder who I am? I mean I know that there is something that is “covered” etc. but how can I actually really make myself wonder? Skip The Who. Wonder what you are. Start with contemplating your assumptions, this begins the process of discovery that we take the most basic things for granted. Such as air. Your ‘who’ is a separate identity. Separated from other things, by air. Yet, it is the air which has always unified you with all things, not separated you. This is the level of ‘game’ in the illusion. You’ve been playing hide & seek. You’re the hider & the seeker. The game is only ‘won’ by surrendering. Surrendering is your ‘ace in the hole’ on a trip. 

Also, it is the air which is keeping you ‘alive’ ?

 

[EyeOfTheStorm]

@Nahm That’s good. Thank you. I’ll try that. I read somewhere that air is what connects us all and that we don’t breath the air in, the air breaths us in. 

How much inquiry work is helpful in the beginning. What do you think?

[Nahm]

@EyeOfTheStorm Start with your whole body and end with nothing; biology, psychology, neurology, neuroplasticity, physics, general relativity, quantum physics, homeostasis, human adaptation, genetics, epigenetics, symatics, field theory, superposition, the LHC, potentiality, chaos theory, string theory, twisters, then the Planck scale stuff. Or, you could just take psychedelics. Then you’ll see the biggest picture in a matter of minutes or hours, but it will fade away after. Foundation is as paramount as any individual experience. Either way, you’ll see that what is sitting in front of you right now, is your own perception. So, avoid the traps of other’s perceptions, like philosophy, epistemology, religion, history, etc. 

[EyeOfTheStorm]

@Nahm Half of the stuff you mentioned I heard about but I have no clue what it is. Is it necessary to inquire it if you don’t even know what it is? I mean I don’t identify myself with it. I have to say I’m not good at inquiring. 

What psychedelics to you suggest for a newbie? Only psychedelics I ever took 8 years ago was Hawaiian wooden rose seeds. Is there away to manifest the bigger picture after it fades again?

Edited December 8, 2017 by EyeOfTheStorm