Sukhpaal

LSD Trip Report: 100ug

2 posts in this topic

Well this was wild to say the least haha, I wrote some stuff in my journal while I was tripping and I will post it below. 

 

During the trip (My writings in journal):

Its so obvs right in my face lol I can't believe it

WE come from nothing. absolutely nothing.

I was created I'm not sure when but I was created a long time ago, I'm assuming around ages 3-4

Adopted belief systems, beliefs about myself and "reality"

Started being egotistic as I always am since a young age and it became more evident as I grew older and "sukhpal" kept developing

"sukhpal" is a character that had a troubled childhood. He has a good self esteem when it comes to appearance but no self esteem inside (no self worth).

Sukhpal (I) has adopted this perception of reality and when something threatens it, it does not sit well with me.

 

I am the character sukhpal, I'm completely made up

I came from nothing but here I am

to make it even worse

Im a fantasy who has a fantasy always in his head

 

I do this so I can escape from the present moment

I hate taking the bus because it forces me to be conscious

 

loves critiquing others, to avoid looking inwards.

boxing/bodybuilding has developed me even more as a fantasy

Everyone's just trying to do what they think is right

we all have a self agenda

self agenda comes before anyone as an ego

 

self agenda- most deep and primitive desires

"I" want the most accurate perception of reality first

everything else is secondary

states of extreme high consiousness can be pleasant

but have to remember all emotional states are not permanent

emotional states > ego > fiction > ?

its disturbing to realize I dont exist and was just conceptualized by i have no idea

but its relieving to know that i don't have to hold beliefs so tightly or cling onto this identity I've created

my life is no different than a movie you'd see in the theaters

just bunch of fictional roles playing themselves out trying their best to avoid the truth

I've spent my entire existence, ever since I became an identity : Sukhpal, to run away from the truth

99.9999999999% of the time im running away

Im not surprised Ive been running away and still am

Its terrifying facing that empty void because that's whats really there

Sukhpal (I) have been made up

 

fear,anxiety,happiness,joy,euphoria,bored all are just emotional states to keep me alive

"Im" lmfaoooooo

Saying "I" sounds funny now

 

everything goes out the window thats why I run from truth

If I dont stay alive that means all my beliefs/models of reality get thrown out

Its not easy accepting death as an ego

there is no clear blueprint for the ego

its way tooo complex to be broken down that easily

 

My remaining life must be dedicated towards truth

whether I reach enlightenment or not

self agenda=self survival

 

Aftermath (1 day later): I'm kind of in shock right now. I can feel the homeostasis kick in and try to get me to backtrack into extreme unconsciousness, which of course is expected. I kind of feel empty in a way because of the realizations I had during the trip but I wouldn't expect anything else so its not a big deal. I'm just worried about how I'm going to implement these learnings going forward. I really don't want backslide so far to the point where the trip was pointless. The power of psychedelics is incredible.

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That's why LSD comes in packs of 10 ;)

 


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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