Marinus

People that don't like hugs, instead being rough

9 posts in this topic

So I know this girl and we like each other, but I think she's playing hard to get. Anyway she doesn't like hugs, but she likes playing being violent in a flirty manner. We did a lot of play wrestling last Saturday with a lot of body contact. I don't understand this, not liking hugs, but we]hen things get rough she likes it?


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My best guess would be that she is afraid of being hurt, which results in fear of intimacy. 

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If you want the reasons, then ask her plain about it.

The Question is: Do you want her as GF? Before you answer I would say that (generally!) females like that are a constant source of distraction.

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The level of distraction a person need, is different for different people. So people with less problems are fine with small things, while people with big problems need greater things like drugs sex etc. Although I do think this is just like mr Shroomdoctor said. Also some people have "big no go zones" so the a like the don't like people being that physically close. I was like that when I was younger, it comes from insecurity. 

@supremeyingyang  As an addition to  that, for clearly, do you want her or just a girl?

Edited by Spiral

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@Marinus  If you both like each other, are you taking her on dates?   Just try the classic approach of dating so she knows it's for real.  I don't think a gal would hit you on a date.  If she's bumping into you a lot, that is supposed to be a very positive sign of attraction.  Any bumping is good bumping.  I wouldn't press hugging, but you should try to kiss her goodnight after the next date you have.  If she gives you the cheek, well you know where you stand then & can stop wasting your time.

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So It's almost a week has past and things are more obvious now.

@Shroomdoctor She has a lot of trouble with her parents, which might result in distrust of others, I think it's connected. She doesn't like to be touched, but teases me a lot and I react with tickling her belly, which she says she doesn't want, while being very flirty. She sometimes hit me on my arm, which I respond to the same way. She wan't me to touch her, while not liking to be touched, contradicting! 

@supremeyingyang @Spiral I indeed want her to be my GF. I think I know why she's so ambiguous. Next week it's my birthday and she told me yesterday that she has two surprises for me, one of them is something I haven't experienced ever before. So my intuitions see's the connection. She also started to make sexual innuendos so this is obvious right?

@smd This is funny, because I told her that I wanted to make up for last Saturday (she told me I was mean, bad, etc. and that I could never visit her again in a flirty way). So I played along and told her that I wanted to cook for her and watch a movie she really wanted to see in order to make up for that day and because I want to visit her again and she thought this was a good idea.  This counts as a date right?

Thx for the responses btw.


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@Marinus How would you feel if, she had sex with you on your birthday, and the day after you lost all your interested in her? Now I'm not saying this is the going to be the case but it very often is.

Pro tip

  • After the two of you have kissed once, you can kiss her again later if you want to, although make sure it is a reasonable situation and not in public unless you know she is comfortable with that (Girls don't want to come off as sluts and all that)
  • If you have kissed her in the past, a good next step is cuddles with lot's of kissing, if you want to go ham you can lightly kiss her on the neck a few times, girls love that shit. (To be honest even if I like that) 
  • Once you get to the "kissing,cuddle and neck kissing" stage things tend to play out the way you want to.

In my experience getting a girl to the stage where she wants to kiss you is the hardest, once they two of you is getting a lot of cuddles and kissing her none emotional mind takes over and stuff happens. 

Also being "bad" is not something bad, ironically. She is testing you, often called a "shit test". Unless you do something unethical you're not mean. While your response was a "nice guy response" you did create a proper date out of it, so that's good.  

 

 

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@Spiral Thx, this is useful. Before my rejection I acted like a nice guy, now I play along. When she tests me I make it funny or do the opposite of what she's saying and this works like magic. She also noticed that I had changed since the last 2 weeks, which is because of Leo's how to be funny video.

Edited by Marinus

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I want to add that you can watch Tyler Durdens youtube Channel. He is all about frame control and being very positive - with excellent results!

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