LSD Trip Report #1 - I am God and Life

[RossE]

This trip report will have a lot of capitalised words in it - these are deliberate. I'll be talking about things that are so divine that the conventional English word I use is just not sufficient to describe them. The English language cannot capture the beauty, depth, profundity and magic of what I experienced on this trip. It was like delving into why God created Mankind, its true nature, and our ultimate Purpose.

I "acquired" LSD a few days before this trip - ten 150ug blotters - I have a trip organised in a couple weeks. Having done shrooms twice, and experienced death during the second one, I feel relaxed towards psychedelics. They don't even feel like drugs anymore. But last Thursday morning I woke up and just knew I had to do half a tab. Partly precautionary before my trip in a fortnight, but partly because dang I just want to try LSD and I had the time! So about 15 minutes after waking up I stuck some chill music on and slid half a blotter under my tongue. 

Being relaxed is extremely important in psychedelic trips. It makes the come-up a lot more bearable, actually exciting, and when the effects start coming on, you are able to enjoy them and be relaxed with them. Meditation is extremely important for this, as is set and setting, and of course, prior experience with psychedelics. Music and drinking tea or water during the "wait" is good. Low dose is also good - if you already doubt your ability to handle the dose before you're even tripping, you will likely struggle during the actual trip when your entire conventional sense of self and reality is totally gone and you have no other option but to surrender and let your ego get completely ripped away.

I found LSD to be quite visual - much more so than shrooms. While the visuals were cool, I didn't let them distract me too much. What struck me more was the sheer beauty of everything from the moment the effects came on, especially people and nature. I stood and stared in the mirror for a good five minutes admiring how beautiful I am and fortunate I am to be here. I am a beautiful Being, not because I am sexy or attractive, but just because, damn, a human being is an extremely complex organism. It's incredible I even exist. I felt self-love that was beyond love I've had for anyone or anything. It was sheer awe at my own Beauty and Existence. This was to set the tone for the rest of the trip.

Not long after a couple hours after dropping, my conventional reality just got completely ripped away from me and I transitioned into the Gravity-less, Timeless Emptiness. Nothing visually changed, so don't think I'm on a different planet seeing weird animals and patterns, no. You simply become your Life as it is and realise that it's all an empty Container, with no substance to it. 

This was a bumpy journey:

• the physical body goes through a lot. Your muscles and nervous system have been functioning as part of this reality for so long that when it starts to disappear, your body has a big reaction, not necessarily negative, but there is a lot of adjusting going on. The back muscles around my shoulder blade in particular were in discomfort and I was rolling around on the ground. I also felt like my abdomen was being torn apart. I see this as the ego leaving the body.
• the sense of time and Other goes away. I was a bit worried that if I just completely surrender, my family would hate me, I'd never see them again, that there would be no future. But I realised that this is all just part of my conventional reality and there was no point trying to hold on, and no need to.
• the fear of insanity really hit me. All I could do is surrender over and over and over again. Life really is just one big surrender.
• the sense of gravity and solidity goes away. I was throwing all manner of objects in the air - an apple, a TV remote for example - because I realised that gravity was a complete illusion. These things still moved and hit the floor but as though they were in a lava lamp.

This lasted around 30 minutes, although it's difficult to say. I had to continue letting go and letting go. Once I broke free, it was incredible, and everything was revealed to me. It was like being reborn into my life, into my house, and seeing the entire thing called Life for what it really was.

Insights into life:

• my life is really everything I have ever ever wanted. It's a miracle. We collectively just do not recognise how fortunate we are. I was rolling around on my carpet, grabbing it, rubbing my face on it, so grateful that I was alive. I was shouting "it's everything I could have ever wanted, it's just everything I could have ever wanted"
• it's all just a Game. I get up in the morning, I do my little routine, I do my little things throughout the day then come back to my little house and go to my little bed. When you exist as the empty container, you realise just how much of a limitation this life is upon the timeless. Imagine having a chess board full of pieces. There are so many games you could invent using those pieces in various numbers, combinations, different rules etc. The common chess rules we have corresponds to how limited our conventional daily life is. What is morning? What is sleep? What is a routine?
• my True Nature created it all, in its sheer Divinity and Power. My true nature is the entire universe, the existence of time and space, all the events in my life, all the people, everything. All of that is just my consciousness expressing itself.

For the first time I became aware that everything is pointing to this thing called Me. It's like an Entire History of Me film that is being played out. Everything that exists in the universe I experience, it's all made for me, by me, and is all part of Me. Of course, this is true of every single one of you too. The moment I took that tab was Designed. It was the crescendo of me realising that it's all just me, the whole time I've ever existed I have neglected this realisation.

This realisation was so powerful that I was crying tears of excruciating Gratitude. I was crying for my beautiful life back. It was all so meaningless, but not in a bad way. I just wanted to have it because of its extreme beauty. I may have a simple life, I may not doing anything flamboyant, but it's all just so Divine. Even drinking a cup of tea is a ridiculously beautiful event. I felt selfish but realised "I died for this. I died to see this Beauty." And I wanted it so, so bad. I was rolling on the floor and jumping around ecstatically at the prospect of living this life. I could have lived for the next 70 years in a box just loving every moment of It. As if a new being, I gave myself a tour of my house and discussed what food I eat, what time I tend to sleep at, who else lives there and so on. It felt like I was a new-born 22 year old human being, walking around in an Esher painting (because of the gravity skewing effects).

More insights:

• I am God, you are God, we are all God, It is God. Do you wonder why people debate God so much? Do you wonder why it's such an obscure, substanceless topic? Because we are like fish in water. Fish can't become aware of the distinction between water and air because 99% of the time they're in water. It's so obvious that it is untouchable by normal means.
• the only way is In. In means to find who you REALLY are. Your whole world points to You. Even your bedroom wall or your lampshade. Will you look in? Or will you stall out the clock and never realise who you Are? Hint: IT IS ALL YOU.
• We are in a Sims Game, we Created the Sims game and Forgot.
• your only Purpose as this Being is to share our Divinity. We are incredible beings, we have so much Love and Wisdom within us. So much. Tap into that and share it with everyone you see. 
• God has plans for humanity. I could feel this. I could see this. It was obvious.

So much more happened on this trip that I can't even begin to cover. Lots of personal shit was purged. A lot of unusual things happened too. But after being on this Trip I just had to share the best wisdom and insights that I could.

The next few hours, even after the trip was over, I was in a state of sheer bliss. I sat in my bedroom, just looking around, so grateful to be alive. I needed nothing more.

Advice

• yoga and diet are important for full awakening to Truth. Your body needs to be looked after. It is the HDMI port between you and the Divine. Any food you eat that makes you feel shit, ditch it.
• meditation... man if you're not meditating in this day and age I bid you farewell  seriously, it's vital.
• go inward, inward, inward until you no longer exist as a thing. The only way is In, remember?

Oh, and one more insight, DO (PSYCHEDELIC) DRUGS KIDS. They're incredible.

 

 

Edited November 27, 2017 by RossE

[Leo Gura]

@RossE Good work!

[Dodo]

3 hours ago, RossE said:

 

• We are in a Sims Game, we Created the Sims game and Forgot.

Very interesting read!

I had this joke  with my sister when I was young that we are living in sims 10 

 

[Nahm]

@RossE thanks for sharing❣️    Hopin you are inspired soon to bring that cliff hanger home.....”A lot of unusual things happened too”. We’re always ready for more unusual round here. 

[RossE]

I should have added this insight in too: Yes, okay, life is inherently meaningless, but for goodness sake, go make your meaning! Whatever is Beautiful to you, that is your meaning! We have a beautiful life.

@Dodo If you've not already, go take a psychedelic with the intention of finding out if that little joke you had with her could be true 

@Leo Gura 5-Meo DMT is calling my interest. Should I go for it?

Edited November 28, 2017 by RossE

[nexusoflife]

@RossE This was an amazing report of your experience. So mush wisdom is here. Thank you for sharing this!

[Pure Imagination]

On 11/27/2017 at 3:59 PM, RossE said:

We are in a Sims Game, we Created the Sims game and Forgot.

Love love love this! Life is truly a game. A smaller reality encapsulated into something far greater than itself.

[Black Flag]

@RossE That was an awesome read, thank you for sharing. 

Was this on half a tab (75ug) or a whole tab (150ug)? 

And what was the set/setting/circumstance/context to this trip? 

Asking because I want to create something similar like this for myself.

[snowleopard]

@RossE  Beautiful, heart-felt, moving ... Again, I continue to be amazed at how psychedelics pull this off, revealing deep insights that took a long time to come to terms with here, without the benefit of such a powerful tool. Divine pychonauts of the world unite in cyberspace and spread the Logos ! 

[Joseph Maynor]

You did half a tab?

[RossE]

Sorry folks not been on the forum in a while.

@Pure Imagination it is a game, it's a beautiful game. We are beautiful creatures endowed with incredible capabilities. Enjoy and cherish your humanity.

@Black Flag Yes, the tabs are 150ug, and I did half of one, so 75ug. In my house, alone, quiet. Having done shrooms I wanted to try LSD for months, my attempts were thwarted. But grace found me so I took the opportunity. If you'd like some more advice PM me.

@snowleopard These are all available through meditation, spiritual work, consciousness work. It just takes a lot longer. Psychedelics are a god-send, literally. They send you to God.

@Joseph Maynor Yeah, I think I'm sensitive to them. I've detoxed my life a lot in the last 18 months.

 

Edited December 15, 2017 by RossE