I Don't Feel Anything For Anybody, And No Libido, Is Nofap The Solution?

[Santiago]

Hi, I am 26 years old male.

As the title says, I don't feel anything for anybody, my mom I don't like her, my dad I like him and admire many things about him, but still I don't feel like I love him as I should... My brother we are very good friends, and we get along fine, he lives with me, but I still don't feel that deep connection with him.

I just feel like I don't have a soul or something, this has happened to me for years now, I don't remember since when...

My friends.. I stopped talking to the majority of them because I didn't really connect with them, not too many things in common... I have just one friend and we talk a lot about intimate stuff, and that is cool, having someone to talk about your things and listen to them, but I still don't think I love him, as one should love a friend..

I also don't have a libido, haven't had it for many years... and this is killing me, I feel dead inside..

These last days I have slept with a girl, I like her as a person, I like her sense of humor, her intelligence, and some physical features, but she doesn't turn me on, and neither does anything/anybody (I didn't have sex with her by the way.. just kissing and touching, and I didn't really enjoy it that much to be honest, didn't come obviously).

 

I can orgasm masturbating, but I mainly masturbate out of boredom and it isn't that good.

A couple times I took the nofap challenge and around week 2 or 3 I started having sexual desire, but ended up fapping... I also remember feeling more connection with people and happiness in general during those periods.. but people report that this "superpowers" come and go, so it's not like the ultimate solution even If I managed to nofap for the rest of my life... am I wrong?

 

Any suggestions? I have no clue what is going on..

 

PD: I also think that I am afraid of getting hurt in a relationship, and depending on others scares me too... Maybe I just massively blocked my feelings?

Edited November 16, 2017 by Santiago

[Girzo]

16 hours ago, Santiago said:

Maybe I just massively blocked my feelings?

Yup, that's it. No wonder you feel dead inside. When you build an armor around you, then not only no one can hurt you, but also you can't absorb any emotions you need to thrive. Emotions are like food for the soul. I feel the same as you, my whole body is stiff. I try to work on it by using psychedelics, trying to clean my diet and reading books about different forms of theraphy. Nofap is useful, but doesn't solve this problem at all. I am still figuring out what works, so I can't really tell you any practical advice. Just sharing a few words to let you know you are not alone.

[Shin]

I can't know for sure, but it's probably more than just the fact that you masturbate (even thought it's not healthy to masturbate too much for a lot of reasons).

@Girzo Sums it up pretty nicely, you have to loose that armor, there can't be any armor anyway.

You have to open up to people, to the world and to yourself, and the only true way of doing that, is by doing shadow work coupled with consciousness work (daily meditation and what I describe below).
You won't be able to accept love from other until you accept to love yourself, and you can't love yourself if you don't fully accept yourself.
To be able to fully accept yourself you have to fully feel all the emotions that appears in your body, and to fully accept whatever your mind is saying too.
It is very very simple, you just feel/look those things without judging, and after some time (it all depends on how much baggage you have), all the suppressed emotions/negative beliefs will be cleansed (and you won't create new ones).
It's not a pleasant process at all, but it's the only true solution, everything else won't solved the problem for very long.

If you have the courage to do this, then you'll be able to choose happiness/peace everytime, even in situations that would usually trigger your old you (not all the time though, it's a process, not a one time achievement).
If you choose to do this, it will very painful, there is nothing that will hurt more to realize all your suppressed emotions, from your early childhood to now.

You're currently in hell, and you'll have to go to the deepest of it to do this work.
Once you've done it though, you'll jailbreak out of it, which means there is a way to live life you didn't even experience yet.
Well you did have, when you were a child  

 

[Spiral]

Going on noFap when you know you can get laid in 2 weeks time is good, this way you reprogram your brain to connect sex with pleasure. If you go on noFap with  no sex on the horizon it becomes more difficult.

Also skip porn altogether.

Edited November 17, 2017 by Spiral

[pluto]

Nofap is not the total solution but can possibly help. Think of Nofap as more of a step up in the right direction. I say meditation, connecting with nature, changing up lifestyle focus and maybe even diet/detox/fast.. and general self actualization techniques and practices will be much more effective than nofap alone but pairing all of them together will be most powerful. Usually with spiritual progression and or becoming more aware/conscious of self, nofap comes naturally.

[Santiago]

Thank you for the feedback guys, I appreaciate it a lot!

I am feeling very depressed right now...

 

I think I don't accept myself, that's why I get away from people, so they can't see my real self and reject me... that has to be it..

I left my first and only girlfriend a few years ago and I did it because I was so insecure, I thought she was going to leave me... it's ridiculous.. and I probably have been using masturbation as a justification that I don't need to relate to people, because my needs are satisfied, I don't have a libido, so I must be satisfied sexually... it's BS

I have also noticed signs of self rejection, I don't live how I think I should live for instance.. I don't do what I know I should do... I hide things about me from people, because I feel insecure about them.. but then everybody does right? I feel like all I have said is completely normal stuff, so is everybody self-rejecting?

[Will2gain]

Did u check out Leo's victim video? How ti stop being a victim, that video really helped me