Hardkill

Girls Have Dating Easier?

50 posts in this topic

3 hours ago, NEW11 said:

 

I'll have some fun with this one. Try out this attitude - when you see a beautiful girl think to yourself "she hasn't succeeded in getting the best guy in this nightclub, because that is me!"

I didn't read all the comments very carefully, but I think he said nothing about living with his parents. This seems to be a common thread among posts like this, always the "job + parents" argument. I've seen plenty of jobless people, still living with their parents, with hot intelligent women, way out of their league, and I've seen people with good jobs (engineers, CEOs, doctors, programmers, etc.) who are still single or have trouble with dating. If there is a correlation between having a job and relationship, I don't see it, and I'd be in doubt of any woman who cares about my job (it's an excellent job, I just don't plan to stay there, so if they care about the money aspect, then my interest in them would drop bellow 0 immediately).

Independence and faith have nothing to do with one another. Sure, if you're the type of arrogant person who enter solves 5 problems in a maths course and thinks to himself "this is an easy course, I got this", then yeah, you will develop some faith. On the other hand you might be the type of person who thinks "these were only 5 problems, this doesn't necessarily mean that I'll be able to handle everything that this maths course throws at me". Life's just like that maths course. You can't be prepared for everything and you never know what comes next.

Best method: optimized trial and error! This means that you go and speak to girls, hang out with them, until you find one that you're compatible with. This will take a lot of time. If we would convert this to a simple maths problem, then imagine that in order for you to find a girl who is truly compatible with you, you'd need her to posses 6 traits. However, let's say those are 6 traits out of a possible 49 total traits, and each person has a combination of 6 or more traits from the pool. You see the problem? I'm confident that it's actually easier than that in real life. You have to keep trying. 

Why do I say optimized? Firstly, it's not just a random search, I mean if you're the type of guy who reads a lot of books, you'd be foolish to go out in a nightclub to pick up girls. Secondly, drop all your needs for this girl to be "hot" and possess qualities that have nothing to do with how compatible she is to you. Is she fat? Good, you'll start running. You can work on the details. Dreaming of finding someone who fits all your criteria down to every last detail is unrealistic. I heard many people saying "but I could find someone better, someone who is compatible with me and also isn't fat". Yeah, well guess what? Everyone can find someone better, if we all went for "better", there'd be around 20 couples in the whole world. My girlfriend is blind, yet I never desired someone "better". Actually even the thought of "better" disgusts me, I mean, it's not her fault after all.

I am sorry, but I don't get it. I don't understand how to find such traits in a girl and then compare them to mine. 

Also, I really want a girl who is hot. They matter to me a lot. I am sorry.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, NEW11 said:

I think he said nothing about living with his parents

He said it elsewhere.

3 hours ago, NEW11 said:

always the "job + parents" argument. I've seen plenty of jobless people

I didn't make this as a general argument, I said it because I felt like it was the right thing to say in this particular case. 

3 hours ago, NEW11 said:

I've seen people with good jobs (engineers, CEOs, doctors, programmers, etc.) who are still single or have trouble with dating.

Then they have other issues with themselves. That doesn't mean that being able to have a job at all is irrelevant for everybody.

3 hours ago, NEW11 said:

If there is a correlation between having a job and relationship, I don't see it, and I'd be in doubt of any woman who cares about my job

It's not about the job, it's about sefl-esteem. This has nothing to do with status or "society's brain-wash ideas" or something like that. It's about one's confidence in the own competence of coping with the basic challenges you will have to face in your life. And acquiring that happens by learning the necessary skills. 

3 hours ago, NEW11 said:

Independence and faith have nothing to do with one another.

In my experience they have. With independence comes trust and therefore faith in own one's own abilities.

3 hours ago, NEW11 said:

"these were only 5 problems, this doesn't necessarily mean that I'll be able to handle everything that this maths course throws at me"

I don't see this analogy working. Handleing these 5 problems gives you very good reason to handle similar problems of equal calibre in the future. And probably at some point even one that is a little bit harder. 

3 hours ago, NEW11 said:

You can't be prepared for everything and you never know what comes next.

True, but you can be prepared for some things and you can develop confidence in your capabilities of handleing whatever comes next, or even of handleing not handleing it, if you will.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, Hardkill said:

I am sorry, but I don't get it. I don't understand how to find such traits in a girl and then compare them to mine. 

Also, I really want a girl who is hot. They matter to me a lot. I am sorry.

What? You just have to think a little bit. First think about yourself: what are you like?  Are you a guy who reads a lot of books, goes to a lot of seminars and stuff? Well then probably you're not going to like to be together with a girl who's not "on the same level" as you are because at many times you'll find you have nothing to talk about. If you find a girl that likes to goes to a lot of parties every night, but you're a guy who likes to stay in and read a good book, then you must think: do I like to party, can I accept her behavior, can I go out, or do I dislike partying so much that I cannot tolerate such a behavior in my relationship with a girl? You have to think like this about 3 types of traits: traits that you really need, traits that you dislike and traits that you shouldn't really care about. You have to think about this sort of thing yourself, nobody else can do it for you. After you decided on this matter, the way to find these traits in another people is to find common interests. You could try dating sites. Or if you like playing the guitar, go join some guitar club. Do you like public speaking, go join toastmasters. And don't go there thinking "I should meet someone", go there only if you really enjoy the activity that the group is involved in. In this way, if nothing else, you could at least improve at guitar playing or public speaking and have a wonderful time with the new friends that you'll make. Eventually, you might hear something like "let me introduce you to" from one of the new friends that you'll make.

You say that you really care whether a girl is hot or not. Fine, but be aware of my previous example with "6 traits from 49". If you desire only 1 trait, then 1 in 49 girls will be compatible to you. But the more traits you desire, the harder it will be to find the girl who is right for you. If you desire 6 traits, then 1 in 13,983,816 girls will be compatible with you. Now, the numbers are not accurate, and the real problem is not that difficult, this is just to give you an idea of how the problem's difficulty will increase with each new trait that you desire. So think about it: "is hotness really a thing that I need, or is it more an issue of pride or satisfying my own ego? When I think of hotness, do I think of priding myself with my girlfriend in front of my friends or other such things?". If you decide that you don't really need hotness, that doesn't mean you should avoid hot women. That only means that if you meet someone and you decide she fits all the needed criteria that you have, but she is not hot, then you still like her anyway. However, if she happens to be hot, that's a bonus. Be honest with yourself. Do not say "alright, hotness doesn't matter" if it really does, because you'll just end up making yourself miserable. But always be aware that each new trait that matters is going to increase the problem's difficulty.

And one last thing: if you really desire a trait, make sure that you too possess trait. Don't be "poor and pretentious". If you want your girlfriend to be smart, make sure that you're smart too, otherwise, she'll get bored with you. And if you want her to be hot, make sure you're hitting the gym. And cut out the "hopelessness" off the dating equation. Think of Thomas Edison and the light bulb. Legend says that he tried 10,000 filaments for the light bulb and (obviously, from the light bulb that is shining in your room) he never quit. In every endeavor that you make (business, dating, etc.) every failure is a learning experience and a step closer to success. However, if you extrapolate from your previous failures and you say "every future try is going to end the same" then you can't really be enthusiastic about your future endeavors and you're creating a self-fulfilling prophecy effect. Failure is good. I met one of my ex-girlfriends from another girl I approached, but with whom I had nothing in common.

@HII

6 hours ago, HII said:

In my experience they have. With independence comes trust and therefore faith in own one's own abilities.

I don't see this analogy working. Handling these 5 problems gives you very good reason to handle similar problems of equal calibre in the future. And probably at some point even one that is a little bit harder. 

If I was 5 years younger, I would agree with you wholeheartedly. But it only takes 1 or 2 really hard slaps from life in your face to make you humble. A great artist from my own country said the following: "You should never be satisfied or confident in what you already did. The power of an artist to create ever better performances or pieces of art comes from a sense of dissatisfaction. Never rest on your laurels." Confidence can help yeah, but what you need more in this life is courage. And courage means dealing with a situation even if it scares you to death.

I agree with the rest of what you said, mainly because your arguments don't really focus on the really important points that I was trying to make. I mean when I was making the point about "If there is a correlation between having a job and relationship, I don't see it, and I'd be in doubt of any woman who cares about my job", my attention was focused more on the second part of the sentence, which was the doubt part.

Moreover, I never make points that fit in the category "society's brain-wash ideas". There are just a lot of recurring arguments that I see and I don't like, and I decided that I should take some action against them. Here, let me give you an example that has nothing to do with the topic at hand: "well how do you know whether you like the soup or not, if you haven't tasted it?". This is not a "brainwashed" argument, it is just one that appears a lot, and I'm sick of it. Replace 'soup' with 'shit', and you'll see what I think is wrong with this argument.

6 hours ago, HII said:

Then they have other issues with themselves.

I can agree with that. However, I hope that you weren't being judgmental of these people. If you were, I'll have you know that the main "issue" they deal with is lack of time or being too tired when they get home to go out and do something else.

Furthermore, self-esteem will never be boosted by learning new skills or acquiring new things. These will only be "patches" which will seem to cover the problem, but really, the wound is still bleeding deep down, even if you don't feel it anymore. You either face it head on or you never solve it. And you know you have solved it when your self-esteem is no longer affected by outside factors like "do I have a (good) job or not?" "do I have a (hot) girlfriend or not?" "do I have the skills to do X or not?" etc.

Edited by NEW11

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 16.11.2017 at 5:35 AM, NEW11 said:

what you need more in this life is courage. And courage means dealing with a situation even if it scares you to death.

So wouldn't it be an awesome courage exercise to go find a job and live by yourself?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why has this conversation even started? It's so stupid. What I mean: to have a couple you need a man and a woman, right? So when a girl finds a guy easily isn't it also the same for the guy she's with? Woman to man ratio is close to 1:1, so for every @Hardkill that has dating hard, there's also a girl that feels the same. It just can't be the other way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Hardkill It helps to broaden your perspective of the situation. Men and women are asymmetrical. There are pros and cons to each. On the whole, men have it way easier when you take into account all the factors which you are conveniently ignoring, like:

  • Women get abused by men A LOT
  • Women get raped and molested
  • Women get drugged and liquored up by guys
  • Women get manipulated more
  • Women get pumped and dumped
  • Women have to deal with risks of pregnancy and abortion
  • Women get slut-shamed
  • Women's value in the dating game is heavy affected by appearance and youth
  • Women have a short shelf-life
  • Women need to have kids by age 40 if they want them
  • Women get cheated on more
  • Women get dumped for younger women
  • By not approaching, women have less control and fewer options
  • Women get discriminated against
  • Women have to deal with crazy emotional fluctuations
  • Women get paid less
  • Women get judged much more negatively for being assertive or selfish
  • Women have do deal with PMS, periods, birth control pills, yeast infections, etc.
  • Women have to dress up and spend 10% of their life putting on makeup
  • Women are expected to wear high heals
  • Women have to sacrifice their health, appearance, and time to give birth
  • Women have to sacrifice their careers more to raise kids
  • Women have a harder time orgasming and being satisfied in bed
  • Etc, etc.

So complaining about having to approach as a guy is really lame.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

@Hardkill It helps to broaden your perspective of the situation. Men and women are asymmetrical. There are pros and cons to each. On the whole, men have it way easier when you take into account all the factors which you are conveniently ignoring, like:

  • Women get abused by men A LOT
  • Women get raped and molested
  • Women get drugged and liquored up by guys
  • Women get manipulated more
  • Women get pumped and dumped
  • Women have to do deal with risks of pregnancy
  • Women get slut-shammed
  • Women's value in the dating game is heavy affected by appearance and youth
  • Women have a short self-life
  • Women need to have kids by age 40 if they want them
  • Women get cheated on more
  • Women get dumped for younger women
  • By not approaching, women have less control and fewer options
  • Women get discriminated against
  • Women have to deal with crazy emotional fluctuations
  • Women get paid less
  • Women have do deal with PMS, periods, birth control pills, yeast infections, etc.
  • Women have to dress up and spend 10% of their life putting on makeup
  • Women have to sacrifice their health, appearance, and time to give birth
  • Women have to sacrifice their careers more to raise kids
  • Etc, etc.

So complaining about having to approach as a guy is really lame.

Is it because the Man (ego) has been threatened by the Divine Feminine (truth), that female discrimination has been going on in such heavy matters you think? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Marco_the_Ape said:

@Little Plant that sounded extremely sexist. O.o

No it isn't.

In really old cultures, women were considered as goddess and most of the divinities were female.
It's only when the ego started to grow full force that men became dominant and oppressive towards women.
The fact that most gods suddenly became men, is also a sign that the ego was projecting itself, because the men mind is much more prone to mental activities.

It's actually a good point, men are rejecting their feminine side not only in their mind, but also by rejecting and abusing women.
If they were accepting it, they could start the transition to become the truth, and this is not what the ego wants at all.

 

Quote

A goddess is a female deity. Goddesses have been linked with virtues such as beauty, love, motherhood and fertility (Mother-goddess cult in prehistoric times). They have also been associated with ideas such as war, creation, and death.

In some faiths, a sacred female figure holds a central place in religious prayer and worship. For example, Shaktism, the worship of the female force that animates the world, is one of the three major sects of Hinduism. In Tibetan Buddhism, the highest advancement any person can achieve is to become like the great female Buddhas (e.g. Arya Tara), who are depicted as supreme protectors, fearless and filled with compassion for all beings.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goddess

 

5yMUg1B.png

Edited by Shin

God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, Shin said:

No it isn't.

In really old cultures, women were considered as goddess and most of the divinities were female.
It's only when the ego started to grow full force that men became dominant and oppressive towards women.
The fact that most gods suddenly became men, is also a sign that the ego was projecting itself, because the men mind is much more prone to mental activities.

It's actually a good point, men a rejecting their feminine side not only in their mind, but also by rejecting and abusing women.
If they were accepting it, they could start the transition to become the truth, and this is not what the ego wants at all.

 

5yMUg1B.png

Sounds interesting, at least. But I do not really like the notion that men are by default prone to ego and women are acting through truth. If I look at people around me, women are just as clouded by ego as men.

 

On a more practical level, in western culture, I don't see much "oppression" anymore. There are issues with gender stereotypes, yes, but they go both ways.

I do see the problem with men rejecting their feminine side, though.

 

Maybe I am just not knowledgeable enough on the cross-point of genders and spirituality. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Shin Yes!

It takes a God til recognize a Godess. And any man that can grasp the Divine will attract those women who know they are Divine. Those who aren’t aware of their Goddess within will attract Men who aren’t aware of their God within, and they will therefore not see the Divine Godess before them. Perhaps they will try to diminish it in every way possible. And vice versa ofc. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hardkill.

Maybe girls have an easier time getting laid. But why do you fucking care? You only care because you enjoy going down the victim road. Stop being a fucking victim and deal with reality as it is instead of running away from it.


Can you bite your own teeth?  --  “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, Little Plant said:

Is it because the Man (ego) has been threatened by the Divine Feminine (truth), that female discrimination has been going on in such heavy matters you think? 

Plenty of unconsciousness and ego in women too. It just plays out differently.

The human species just seems to be male-dominant, like chimps or gorillas. The biggest ape rules.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think a factor is that it is less socially acceptable for a girl to chase a guy. A girl who chases a guy is often characterized as desperate while a guy who chases a girl normally is not. Also, guys are naturally dominant in human nature as Leo said

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 11/21/2017 at 1:04 AM, Leo Gura said:

@Hardkill It helps to broaden your perspective of the situation. Men and women are asymmetrical. There are pros and cons to each. On the whole, men have it way easier when you take into account all the factors which you are conveniently ignoring, like:

  • Women get abused by men A LOT
  • Women get raped and molested
  • Women get drugged and liquored up by guys
  • Women get manipulated more
  • Women get pumped and dumped
  • Women have to deal with risks of pregnancy and abortion
  • Women get slut-shamed
  • Women's value in the dating game is heavy affected by appearance and youth
  • Women have a short shelf-life
  • Women need to have kids by age 40 if they want them
  • Women get cheated on more
  • Women get dumped for younger women
  • By not approaching, women have less control and fewer options
  • Women get discriminated against
  • Women have to deal with crazy emotional fluctuations
  • Women get paid less
  • Women get judged much more negatively for being assertive or selfish
  • Women have do deal with PMS, periods, birth control pills, yeast infections, etc.
  • Women have to dress up and spend 10% of their life putting on makeup
  • Women are expected to wear high heals
  • Women have to sacrifice their health, appearance, and time to give birth
  • Women have to sacrifice their careers more to raise kids
  • Women have a harder time orgasming and being satisfied in bed
  • Etc, etc.

So complaining about having to approach as a guy is really lame.

Thanks for your response, Leo. Though, I didn't say that I wanted to be a girl/woman. Though I guess I can see the point you're trying to make here. 

Btw, I don't see how women these days have had any social consequences from sleeping with more than 10-20 guys (unless you live in a primitive country like in Iraq where you are ruled by a dictator). 

Also, while men may not spend 10% of their life putting on makeup or dressing up well like women are pressured to do, men have lately been pressured to workout hard and eat an ample amount of good quality food to get bigger, stronger, more stamina, more muscular, and have to work hard on finding a good clothing style for themselves all to impress the women they want.

Furthermore, even though men obviously don't have to deal with risks of pregnancy and abortion themselves, they still have to make sure that they avoid creating any unwanted pregnancies these days. Otherwise, he will legally be forced to pay for child support indefinitely.

Plus, men like me have been randomly ghosted by women after having sex with them.

Moreover, yes, it true that there have been more women who have been physically and verbally abused by men than vice versa. Yes, it is also true that women get manipulated more than men do. However, most women in relationships are usually the ballbusters who tend to control the man's relationship life.

Additionally, men have to work much harder than women to keep the girl/woman they want even after having had 1 to 2 dates with them.

As far as women get judged much more negatively for being assertive or selfish, I don't believe that to be true in western developed societies like the U.S., Canada, Japan, South Korea, Ireland, the UK, France, Israel, Italy, Spain, Germany, Scandinavian countries, etc.

Regarding crazy emotional fluctuations, how do women have to deal with that more than men unless they are bipolar or are psychotic?

Finally, aren't there plenty of women out there who make as much money as men if not a lot more? Taylor Swift is one of the highest paid musicians with a net worth of about 200 million US dollars. A vast number of female celebrities and successful female entrepreneurs have made millions of dollars themselves. Most men throughout the entire world will never even make more than a million dollars no matter what they do. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The richest person in the world is still a man (however it shouldn't matter what gender is the "richest") and there have been a lot of successfull people throughout history who was a man that made a lot of money one example is franz liszt who actually are known as the most skilled pianist to ever lived and he made a lot of money from hes music(and thats not from playing simple chord progressions) and almost everywhere he went the ladies wanted him (some even call him the first rock star and he is the reason the piano is in the position it is on the stage today  and that just the tip of the ice berg of hes accomplishment)

i am sorry but i think you are making it harder than it needs to be

i am sure if you look hard enough if there is a bad thing about dating in one gender you should be able to find one equally as unfair for the other gender

i would actually even say that life is equally difficult regardless of who you are however people are in diffrent places in their personal growth/development which is why some have it easier than others(maybe not equally difficult but definitely some level of difficulty)

most people in general doesn't make that much money (in the millions+) it doesn't matter what gender you are

Edited by BjarkeT

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 11/27/2017 at 11:06 AM, Marco_the_Ape said:

@Hardkill I think the overall answer to this thread still is "who cares?" and "why do you care?"

He cares because he is facing the problem. Talking him down won't change that. I'll go by the teacher's principle "there are no dumb questions", but do not expect the answer to fit in with your worldview. Leo is right here, women face a lot of issues, and complaining that "approaching" is hard is lame. Even if we lived in a world where women wouldn't face all the problems that Leo mentioned, I'd still prefer to be on the man's side of the dating game, because I'd never trade "approaching", no matter how emotionally difficult it might be, for the pain of giving birth. Furthermore, there are two sides to every coin. @Hardkill, you have to stop looking only at your side of the coin. If some women choose not to approach, then they have less control over the whole situation. They might have their eye on that guy who's sitting in the other corner of the nightclub, but then someone else actually approaches them.

Furthermore, if you have such a difficulty with "approaching" then switch games. It's not like real-world dating is the only game in town. Go online, sign up to some dating sites. Sure, every avenue might have its flaws, but you should choose the one that is most suited to you.

@Hardkill

As I said before the solution is optimized trial and error. Go out there, meet new people, see where you go wrong, read books on this stuff and you'll see yourself slowly improving over time. We're not born with the dating skill, just as we're not born playing the guitar. If you look at your neighbor who's already playing the guitar, asking yourself "how come he can do it so easily?" may be a valid question, but it will never help you improve your own guitar playing.

On 11/19/2017 at 4:16 PM, HII said:

So wouldn't it be an awesome courage exercise to go find a job and live by yourself?

@HII

That is awesome in and of itself, even if you don't care about dating. But if @Hardkill does that, that still doesn't guarantee that his dating problem will be solved, and when he gets a job and sees that he's still facing the same problem, he'll come back here and complain again "look, I got a job and I'm still facing this issue". A job may help, but it isn't really critical to his problem.

To illustrate this, I'll give you an example from my own life. Until 1989 (if you know what happened in 1989, you can also guess the country), my grandmother lived in a communist country, so she never really had the opportunity to get rich. My job makes more money/month than my grandmother could ever dream of making in an entire year back in those days. Now, if we take the issue of eating healthy, is money important? Sure they may play a role, but just because you have plenty of money doesn't mean that you are eating healthier. This has happened in my own life, for a time I focused too much on my job and I didn't really pay attention to my nutrition. I didn't eat very healthy, even if I had the money to do it. (fortunately I managed to fix that in my own life). However, my grandmother never faced this issue. She is nearly 80 years old and she managed to eat healthy despite her circumstances, and to this day, she never really fell ill, she never had more than an occasional cold.

Money can be used to eat healthy, money can be used just as easily to eat unhealthy. Sure, they may help a bit, but do you really think that they'll fix confidence problems and other such types of personal issues that @Hardkill might face? If he gets money, he might use it to search in the wrong places for a date.

@Hardkill, this doesn't mean that you shouldn't get a job or find some way to make a living for yourself. You definitely should find something to do in this life! But if you get a job, get a job for the job's sake, get a job that is in line, or that may lead you to your life purpose (if you have such a thing, if you don't, for now, just get a job that's in line with your values), don't get just any job so that you can date women. Never do something just so that you may be able to do another thing. You might end up fixing your dating problem, only to find yourself having problems with your job.

Edited by NEW11

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
28 minutes ago, NEW11 said:

He cares because he is facing the problem. Talking him down won't change that. I'll go by the teacher's principle "there are no dumb questions", but do not expect the answer to fit in with your worldview. Leo is right here, women face a lot of issues, and complaining that "approaching" is hard is lame. Even if we lived in a world where women wouldn't face all the problems that Leo mentioned, I'd still prefer to be on the man's side of the dating game, because I'd never trade "approaching", no matter how emotionally difficult it might be, for the pain of giving birth. Furthermore, there are two sides to every coin. @Hardkill, you have to stop looking only at your side of the coin. If some women choose not to approach, then they have less control over the whole situation. They might have their eye on that guy who's sitting in the other corner of the nightclub, but then someone else actually approaches them.

Furthermore, if you have such a difficulty with "approaching" then switch games. It's not like real-world dating is the only game in town. Go online, sign up to some dating sites. Sure, every avenue might have its flaws, but you should choose the one that is most suited to you.

@Hardkill

As I said before the solution is optimized trial and error. Go out there, meet new people, see where you go wrong, read books on this stuff and you'll see yourself slowly improving over time. We're not born with the dating skill, just as we're not born playing the guitar. If you look at your neighbor who's already playing the guitar, asking yourself "how come he can do it so easily?" may be a valid question, but it will never help you improve your own guitar playing.

@HII

That is awesome in and of itself, even if you don't care about dating. But if @Hardkill does that, that still doesn't guarantee that his dating problem will be solved, and when he gets a job and sees that he's still facing the same problem, he'll come back here and complain again "look, I got a job and I'm still facing this issue". A job may help, but it isn't really critical to his problem.

To illustrate this, I'll give you an example from my own life. Until 1989 (if you know what happened in 1989, you can also guess the country), my grandmother lived in a communist country, so she never really had the opportunity to get rich. My job makes more money/month than my grandmother could ever dream of making in an entire year back in those days. Now, if we take the issue of eating healthy, is money important? Sure they may play a role, but just because you have plenty of money doesn't mean that you are eating healthier. This has happened in my own life, for a time I focused too much on my job and I didn't really pay attention to my nutrition. I didn't eat very healthy, even if I had the money to do it. (fortunately I managed to fix that in my own life). However, my grandmother never faced this issue. She is nearly 80 years old and she managed to eat healthy despite her circumstances, and to this day, she never really fell ill, she never had more than an occasional cold.

Money can be used to eat healthy, money can be used just as easily to eat unhealthy. Sure, they may help a bit, but do you really think that they'll fix confidence problems and other such types of personal issues that @Hardkill might face? If he gets money, he might use it to search in the wrong places for a date.

@Hardkill, this doesn't mean that you shouldn't get a job or find some way to make a living for yourself. You definitely should find something to do in this life! But if you get a job, get a job for the job's sake, get a job that is in line, or that may lead you to your life purpose (if you have such a thing, if you don't, for now, just get a job that's in line with your values), don't get just any job so that you can date women. Never do something just so that you may be able to do another thing. You might end up fixing your dating problem, only to find yourself having problems with your job.

I've tried every "game" u can think of or know, and each and everyone one of them gave me more bad than good results. The only small rays of hopes I may have are getting an expensive legit coach for dating or finding a PUA lair or an experienced wing guy (which are very hard to find). Even I am not optimistic about either one of those options working for me because I am a freak.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.