Somatic Focus For Anxiety

[Guanine]

For quite some time now, like many many others, I've had the problem of perceiving strangers in public as angry, or perhaps snide, prideful or even mocking. I am unsure as to how accurate this perception is; although I admit that it's probably inaccurate, and undoubtedly skewed by my fearful lense through in which I view the world. For example, when I am in public, there are the rare instances in which I accidentally do make eye contact with strangers, and I feel as though they irradiate an aura of  anger or general discontentment. Of course, I swiftly guide my eyes to the ground, and avoid eye contact the rest of the time. Of course, others strangers could perceive my face as being angry; however, my solution to this dilemma is to simply avoid eye contact, and hide my face by looking away. With this being done, the worst people could perceive me as would be perhaps emotionally wounded or fearful; which is quite a bit better than to be thought of as an asshole with a permanent sneer on one's face. So yes, my current solution is to simply avoid eye contact at all costs to simply avoid the circumstance in which other people view my facial expression as reeking of malice and choler. I've come to the conclusion that I might have a problem with reading facial expressions; although, I can acknowledge very basic facial expressions such as happiness or sadness. Perhaps my skills of nonverbal emotional perception simply needs to be calibrated.  

But nevermind that for now; as a socially adept person would probably tell me ignore a given stranger with a seemingly angry expression or unfortunately has the case of RBF (Resting Bitch Face) syndrome. Sure, I could try to ignore the nonverbal interaction, however, the obstacle that hinders me from completely ignoring the experience would be, well, the somatic sensations of fear. In other words, my body tightens, and I feel fearful and vulnerable. So in essence, I would look at a stranger with a perceived foul facial expression, then I would conceptually acknowledge that I shouldn't feel ashamed or fearful, as that person's angry expression is simply their problem and not mine. However, my body does not acknowledge this, and I get a dose of adrenaline, and hence, the sympathetic nervous system is engaged, and eventually, the freeze response manifests, and consequently, my posture worsens,  and my body becomes very tight and numb; especially my eyes, neck, throat and shoulders. In rare occurrences however, I may even experience a headache. 

I've been trying to mitigate this  response by mindfully observing my somatic sensations, and eagerly trying to connect with them as opposed to being consumed by personal narratives and stories. However, the feeling of fear is too jarring in my opinion, and every time I try to mindfully observe my body sensations and concentrate on my breath, I become ungrounded, and the culmination of impartial awareness I was trying to impart eventually fades away, and I'm back to square one. I've also tried diaphragmatic breathing; which is supposed to activate the wandering vagus nerve of the body  which is closely related to the activation of the parasympathetic nervous system; the portion of the nervous system that incites the rest and digest response. It consists of basically breathing through your belly much like how infants breathe. 

I'm sure most of us here has experienced this, however, has anyone made any significant improvement in mitigating the anxiety response in a myriad of different situations? At this point, any inkling of improvement would sate my desires; as all I ask for is to feel calm and  grounded for most of the time. 

[HII]

On ‎05‎.‎11‎.‎2017 at 7:48 PM, Guanine said:

however, my solution to this dilemma is to simply avoid eye contact

What would happen if you looked everybody in the eyes and if you could bring yourself to do so, smiled at them?

I'd like to go on a bus ride with you and show you that not everyone is malevolent

However, this sounds like a more serious issue. Maybe it would help to be more in contact with friends or people in general, like talk with them and interact with them and focus on that, rather than sitting there and making up stories in your thoughts.

But if you want a long-term solution for your bodily reactions, you probably have to uncover some repressed unconscious stuff. Have you looked into shadow work?

[Guanine]

On 11/12/2017 at 8:49 AM, HII said:

What would happen if you looked everybody in the eyes and if you could bring yourself to do so, smiled at them?

I'd like to go on a bus ride with you and show you that not everyone is malevolent

However, this sounds like a more serious issue. Maybe it would help to be more in contact with friends or people in general, like talk with them and interact with them and focus on that, rather than sitting there and making up stories in your thoughts.

But if you want a long-term solution for your bodily reactions, you probably have to uncover some repressed unconscious stuff. Have you looked into shadow work?

Thanks for the response. I haven't smiled at strangers per-say, however, I have nodded at them. Some nod back while others don't. Whilst doing this, my eye contact was at best, fleeting. And speaking of shadow work, I have heard of it mentioned by some. I don't really know a lot about it, but I suppose that trying this method may be for the best. 

[Epiphany_Inspired]

@Guanine I've been expected to look many others in the eyes as a part of various workshops....it was really hard/scary at first...and still kind of is....but it's also really cool.... the first time I had to do it...we literally had to sing about how much we loved these (pretty much) strangers while gazing into their eyes...seriously...can you imagine?....it's really easy to start making up stories about what they may be thinking/ feeling etc (like you've been doing in public)....but it's also much easier in a safe environment to connect through the eyes...it's actually kind of weird how little we look into each other's eyes in general...and how little we really connect as a result....of course you don't want to stare...but genuine looking at the eyes of others is like the next level to asking others meaningful personal questions...what has helped me with this is to have awareness that anything I guess, that they may be thinking or feeling, is likely just a made up story in my monkey mind...and it's far more likely that i'm being more judgemental than these others with their mysterious eyes....