Self-actualization Doesn't Seem Truly Possible For Me

[kieranperez]

PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE COMMENTING!

It's not that I don't believe in Self-Actualization and personal development at all. I know this all possible (to be self-actualized, enlightened, etc.) for me. What I'm so stuck in the mud with is with that belief just being conceptual. I'm struggling so much with taking action. I have so many piles of pure gold books, material, and motivation and what not. However, when it comes time to read or when I'm faced with feeling extremely lonely and am face to face with my crippling low self-esteem, I don't feel deep down that the Self-Actualized life is actually realistic. Again, it's not that I don't think that I can. It's that I don't believe in my dreams anymore (as cliche and corny as that sounds). These days I tend to not believe in my dreams regardless of how feasible they may or may not be. It's weird because I'm not someone whose ever really discounted my capabilities and talents and so on. What I discount is it being real. Not just the end results that are my dreams but I also dismiss any idea that I'll actually put in the work. I'd like to put it this way...

Imagine you're a basketball player who loves the game to death and knows deep down with certainty you have the talent, passion, genetics, everything to become the greatest to ever play the game. You have the determination too. You're willing to put in the work. You have that vision set in your mind. You believe that this is something that's actually possible... BUT! You can't put in the true work to get what you really want so bad because there's something deep in you that sees that vision as just a very realistic fantasy but a fantasy nonetheless. You know logically that it's possible and not just a stupid dream but there's this inner... something that has you feeling stupid. You just have this certainty that has you 100000% convinced this is fantasy. You believe in your dream with every bone in your body and you even try to keep that dream alive... but there's just this end of the line you keep running into that stops all action.

Does this resonate with anyone? 

[Leo Gura]

@kieranperez You're making it too complicated. Too much overthinking.

Just do it.

[Raquel]

Knowning to act is also a skill you can develop. But that means you have to put yourself "out there", out of your mind mainly.

Engaging in groups and communities with those action skills is a good way to start. You can get really inspired by people you interact on a daily basis. Monkey see monkey do, you know.

[dorg]

It is the fact that it is a fantasy that makes it fun to participate. You create your own part in it. You laugh at your own self imagination, your own courage, your own love, your own self will. This laughter is not one of derision or belittling, it is one of total openness (to the moment of self involvement) - you know you are not really involved and that makes it so amazing - you cannot fail.

You are on the cutting edge of the fantasy, live it to the full. What else are you going to do? Mope around? Ok create that.

Edited October 29, 2017 by dorg

[aurum]

@kieranperez

I definitely resonated with this a lot when I was younger. I can remember feeling like I had all the potential I needed, but for some reason just lacked execution and belief in myself.

The bad news is this is probably not going to solve itself overnight. The good news is that it's very solvable.

My advice is to take it slow. If self-actualization and living your highest dreams seems too daunting, build your confidence by accomplishing smaller goals that seem more realistic. Once you accomplish that goal, aim a bit higher. Once you achieve that goal, aim higher again. Etc etc.

Picture yourself like a basketball player. You don't just slam dunk the first time you touch a basketball. You gotta learn how to dribble, pass, shoot and everything else. THEN you'll get to slam dunking.

So just have patience. You'll be learning invaluable skills at this point in your journey so that when you do go to take on the world, you'll be ready.

Edited October 29, 2017 by aurum

[eskwire]

@aurum I like your new picture. You look happy and seem to have made some big strides!

@kieranperez My last name is Perez, too. Hope we are cousins!!! ? I believe you are 22 if I recall correctly from another post. You must go through your terrible twenties like we all did/do. It's an incredible developmenal period and very much an odyssey. There is so much idealism, confusion, and doubt. This is your time to figure out how to make money and what you want in a partner. You are going to fall on your ass and make mistakes while you do that. So, don't psych yourself out about getting to your end goals from where you are now. A lot is going to happen to you in 8 years. A lot. Like, a lot. Don't even try to conceptualize it. Just start taking some action, one thing at a time. 

[Torkys]

I was like this when I was younger. 

In many Greek philosophies, there is a fictional sage character. The sage - even though it may be unrealistic - mastered the skill(s) that his philosophy teaches to an extreme degree. Think of enlightened and self-actualized people like sages. The goal may be unrealistic and most of humanity won't reach it, but it has been done before. 

Seems like you are setting goals to yourself which are way into the future and unrealistic. Accept yourself, learn to take action, and if it helps, lower your expectations. 

 

Edited November 1, 2017 by Torkys
grammar

[HII]

On 29.10.2017 at 4:01 AM, kieranperez said:

It's that I don't believe in my dreams anymore

What are your dreams?

What do you do all day?

What would you like to do all day?

What would you like to accomplish?

Your post sounds to me like you're filling your mind with too much vague theory and struggle to connect it to the actual world where actions are performed and events happen. Prove me wrong and answer these questions. 

[tyler7415]

Dude whats the alternative to self-actualization and enlightenment? For me, there is none. Either I do it, or this life was a failure. I'd rather spend my whole life trying to become self-actualized and enlightened and not achieve it than not even try. If you're looking for motivation to take action or you just deep down don't believe you can do it then your not serious enough about achieving it (probably cause you don't see its value) you're not aware enough of your options in this life. When you realize that there is no alternative to achieving self-actualization and enlightenment, you will be fully motivated and you will make yourself do it. There is nothing else to do in this life that is truly worthwhile except self-actualization and enlightenment (Raising your consciousness). Honestly, what beats these things? When you realize that self actualization and enlightenment (Truth) are what is most important, you will put it above everything including your bullshit beliefs that you can't achieve these things. Put first things first. Truth must guide your life. I would advise that you stop focusing on your thoughts and projecting the idea that you can't achieve these things, and you leave that up to God or Truth. Maybe you can achieve these things, maybe you can't. It certainly doesn't matter whether or not you think you can or can't though. There is no Truth in your beliefs. Remember, there is no "you". Stop projecting that you can or can't do things. Take action with the necessary steps and I pretty much guarantee you will achieve what you want. 

[aurum]

@eskwire thanks!