emind

Cant Stop Chasing This One Girl

25 posts in this topic

And also:

Whatever you are chasing is chasing you:P

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On 10/20/2017 at 0:41 AM, Emerald said:

Perhaps she has become the projection screen for some of your disowned traits. So, the need to feel connected with her comes from your own desire for the parts of yourself that she represents to you.

Excuse me, could you, please, elaborate this little bit more? I guess, because of my bad English, I could not understand it. 

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12 hours ago, Buba said:

Excuse me, could you, please, elaborate this little bit more? I guess, because of my bad English, I could not understand it. 

When we repress aspects of ourselves from our awareness to where we've completely dis-identified with them and forgotten about them, they go to the Shadow. We forget about them because we have disowned them and don't want anything to do with them. Then we lose awareness that we even split this part of ourselves off in the first place through a complex series of subtle self lies.

But the traits are still there, and those aspects of ourselves are always trying to merge back into consciousness. And those aspects will use any means that we can't detect with our conscious mind to find their expression. It's how a lot of neuroses come up. An aspect of ourselves can't come in the front door because we've blocked it. So, it goes to the back door. Or if the back door is locked, it comes in through the side door. But if the side door is blocked, it seeps in through the vents. So, there is no way to completely get rid of an aspect of ourselves. It will find expression in some form or another, and it will find the most direct path that a person allows it to have.

But the more we have blocked it away and closed off outlets for its expression, the more convoluted and distorted the expression of that aspect of ourselves becomes.

So, when a person becomes fixated upon someone and can't let go of that fixation, it is often because that object of fixation has become the outlet (and perhaps the only outlet) for expression and acceptance of certain aspects of themselves that have been sent to the Shadow. So, that person becomes the projection screen that the aspects of ourselves that are in the Shadow use to trick us back into reintegration. If we feel strong positive feelings and a desire to join with someone in a sexual/romantic way, this is the most direct form of communion that human beings can know in three dimensional reality.

So, the disowned aspects of ourselves (which have personal agency, just as we do) use intense feelings of sexual/romantic desire to attract us and make us want to have communion with the person that we admire. But in reality it is not about the person who is the object of desire. It is simply that our mind is subconsciously projecting aspects of ourselves onto that person and luring us into reintegrating those parts of ourselves that we've lost sight of. And it's doing this covertly, by means of attraction to that person because we have blocked off the most direct routes. It's a big mind trick that happens when we have left ourselves few outlets for authenticity, happiness, love, etc.

Edited by Emerald

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7 hours ago, Emerald said:

So, when a person becomes fixated upon someone and can't let go of that fixation, it is often because that object of fixation has become the outlet (and perhaps the only outlet) for expression and acceptance of certain aspects of themselves that have been sent to the Shadow. So, that person becomes the projection screen that the aspects of ourselves that are in the Shadow use to trick us back into reintegration. If we feel strong positive feelings and a desire to join with someone in a sexual/romantic way, this is the most direct form of communion that human beings can know in three dimensional reality.

So, the disowned aspects of ourselves (which have personal agency, just as we do) use intense feelings of sexual/romantic desire to attract us and make us want to have communion with the person that we admire. But in reality it is not about the person who is the object of desire. It is simply that our mind is subconsciously projecting aspects of ourselves onto that person and luring us into reintegrating those parts of ourselves that we've lost sight of. And it's doing this covertly, by means of attraction to that person because we have blocked off the most direct routes. It's a big mind trick that happens when we have left ourselves few outlets for authenticity, happiness, love, etc.

Can this person be anybody or only the one with the traits which we have disowned?

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