Spiral

Why Does This Happen?

10 posts in this topic

I've had this problem for quite some time now.

The problem: I meet new people, make friends with them, both of us open up and have a lot of fun together. But at some point we run out of things to talk about.

We have already talked about the our past, our problems and our plans for the future. We have talked the about romantic/sexual interests we have and a large variety of other topics that both interests us. But then what? Now it's like we can only talk about things that happen today or "plans for the weekend" so we end up talking less, hanging out less and eventually stop completely. 

I have a strong habit of just talking one on one when I am with a friend of mine, not really doing anything. I mean we could go out parting but if we do, we mostly just walk there and go back together, at the party we talk to new/other people. This could be the problem but shouldn't it not happen to everyone at some point then? For me this often happen in less than a month.

What's going on here, where do I mess up?

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the best things to do together don't even require words.

plant trees together. watch sunshines and sunsets. go to yoga classes together. don't overestimate talking.


unborn Truth

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Had same problems in the past.

Just stop thinking what to say, and start do things together like gym,sports,concerts,cinema,travelling etc

 

You don't have to talk all the time.

 

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25 minutes ago, Spiral said:

@George Fil That sounds expensive

Then fuck gyms, sports you can do outside, you can look for free concerts, good movies you can watch at home, travelling you can do with hitchhiking and couchsurfing. I don't know if his advice works for you, I'm just saying that your justification for not applying it isn't a very good one ;)

(I follow this topic because I experienced similar things like you described above before. Maybe I can share something valuable later.)

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@HII Yes you are right, but for me watching a movie with or without a friend is kinda samey.

I'm just sitting/ laying next to them quiet watching a movie. The other persons doesn't really add to the experience, sounds harsh.  Expectation might be if it's someone I wanna cuddle with.

As for hitchinghiking yeah that sounds interesting , never tried that. Any tips on how to get people to help you out?

 

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You can talk about what movie you will watch beforehand and select a specific one for a reason with a goal in mind and then tall about the movie and your experience of watching it afterwards and about how that movie relates to your lives or whatever else.

What do you mean get people to help out?

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I can try that, normally I just talk about whether or not we liked it.

As for hitchhiking, How to make people want to give you a ride?

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On ‎24‎.‎10‎.‎2017 at 0:45 PM, Spiral said:

As for hitchhiking, How to make people want to give you a ride?

What I found works best was going to a gas station and just walk up to people and ask them. If you really wanna know more about how people do this, I'd recommend starting a new thread asking specifically for that. Or do some google search (or ecosia search for that matter). Or you just go for an adventure and find out for yourself.

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