Trip Report Wtf????

[Gabriel Antonio]

 

Laugh at your devilry

 

 

Hahahhaa it was so crazy... i have been feeling very peaceful lately, and this can easily be a way to be in my rut, totally in my comfort zone. However... i decided to take ayahuasca again hahahahhaa 

 

Dude it is so beyond you. Your “progress” will be so beyond you. When you experience the radiance of God, as Leo puts it, you realize that other people can only offer you peanuts hahahaha... quite literally

 

Anyway... before the ceremony I was talking to a cute girl and I was desperate for love hahaha however I wasnt able to express my feelings, you know? i got stuck (like always)

 

During the trip, however, it came to me that the most important thing is whether or not you’re enjoying yourself fully... seriously, i was glowing by 2 hours of trip...

 

And lemme tell ya: the fist two hours were a HELL. I have been eating a lot of food (even thou it is considered healthy food, it is still too much)... anyway I often say that ayahuasca is like a Mad Mother... the word in portuguese is “brava” which is a combination between mean and loving. Hahahaha, got it! Ayahuasca is a severe Mother.

 

Bam! It loves you! 

 

Do you grasp this?? Reality simply loves just like the sun is always shining, God loves you regardless of the shit you have been doing, the shit from your past, and the shit you are currently doing hahahaha you cant escape this Love hahahahhaa

 

Anyway, I feel a deep urge to go take a Vipassana retreat sobthat I can fully reconnect to Nature. It is so fucking obvious when we start to observe nature... so many teachings and we for some reason lost touch of what is like to see the fire. The fire loves you. period. Hahaha

 

Anyway, those shamanic rituals are amazing!! I get a mental ecstasy that permeates my whole body. I get a HUGE body awareness and relaxation. When relaxation is in your body, you realiaze that you do not have to throw away anything. Even negative emotions or thoughts are actually just the excrement, the fertilizer of awesomeness. 

 

In our stupid western country, we are taught to “destroy” parts of us, to remove unwanted things. But, as Zen Master Thich Nhat Hahn says, “If we take away all the ugly parts of a person, there might not be a lot left.” So we try to remove, remove, and remove. And then we realize that we’re empty inside.

 

So whatever you’re going through, the key thing is to transform that ugly energy into something more wholesome. Basically you got to become an alchemist (tks Paulo Coelho!!!)

 

Speaking of pratical shit, my life purpose is clearer than ever. One of Leo’s best video is the one about energy. It is an old one, but soooooo true. When you are allignes with a higher purpose, everything works itself out. You begin to summon energy through the Source... and then... you become a FORCE OF NATURE... it is so crazy... it is so beyond you, you have no idea hahahaha you are just a child, and the Supreme Father allows you to think that “you” are the one doing the amazing shitbof yourblofe, but deep down you know that you are nothing more than a selfish bastard hahhaahaha seriously you do jot have to help anybody. For example, I am writing this trip report for purely selfish reasons... hahahhaa i am just sharing..... so always remember that:

 

Before respecting other, first respect yourself.

 

I have fallen in love with Leos video on devilry hahahahah i am such a snake hahahaha seriously it is so frakin funny ppl are a bunch of hypocrites... they fuck up their lives and then they want to give you advice.

 

“i am sorry, but i want to experience this first-hand”

 

Thats what I say to the voices in my head that want to kill me, to put me in a quagmire of shit hahahaha... because thats what the ego is designed to do... all egos are kinda the same hahaha... as soon as you understand the subconscious mind, as Carl Jung puts it, that is the moment you begin to free yourself from its devilry grip hahahaha 

 

Anyway... another thing that came very clearly is... stop running away from chaos... seriously chaos is part of being human, of being incarnated hahahah nature has lots of chaos, but it knows what it is doing.

 

Thank goodness i freed myself from stupid antidepressants. We qre going to laugh at today’s psychiatry 200 years from now. We’ll go: “OMG!!!!! Look at ehat they did with so many perfectly fine people” DEPRESSION IS NOT A PROBLEM. Schizophrenia is not a problem. Sure, there are exceptions, but seriously can we at least admit that hearing voices in your head is normal???? The problem is how loud those voices are. They kight be propelling you into great heights.

 

I also became very conscious of my death. Let’s face it: I ain’t gonna be here for a very long time, and i feel the point of this trip (aka life) is to have fun. Laugh at your fucking devilry hahahaha... it is so simple... when you realize YOU are the devil, bam! God starts to manifest. You know why? Because God and Devil coexist. Bam! One cannot exist without the other. It is that simple. If you want to have infinite knowledge, you will also have infinite ignnorance. Sorry to break t to you, but as Jack Kornfield says, the human ride works with combos: sweet and sour, praise and blame, joy and sadness... so as soon as you recognize that

 

First of all, you aint got much time left

Second: you have something that is so unique and the world desperately wants that you share your beauty.

 

And maaan... lemme tell ta: ayahuasca makes me fall in love with MUSIC. Hahahaha it is so liberating to play Tabaque (a type of drum from african roots i suppose) the thing is not that you just playbthe instrument, you become the instrument. You begin to see that everythig has a spirit. Each instrument has a spirit. Ayahuasca has a spirit. The sun has a spirit. If you prefer another word, you can say “vibe” the sun has a vibe you know?

 

Speaking of the sun, I also realized that i completely ignore the sun. Just like god... i totally forget that it is there cause I get acclimated... 

 

Anyway, if I could point out one place that has been REALLY helping is 

 

Brazilian Voodoo (aka Umbanda) dude that place os fucking amazing... it is a complete spiritual practice. You got everything there: concentration, dancing, great music... it is beyond words ahahhaha

 

 

Anyway... 

 

Wins the one who laughs the most. Seriousness is ego thing hahaha DO NOT be loyal to your suffering hahaha

 

“ 

 

We live in Paradise. This is heaven!!!!!!!

So... why do you take ayahuasca? —someone might ask

So that I remember this truth

“

 

 

I feel so aamAzing... 

 

Anyway ... 

 

Keep Flowing

 

Just one final thing: stop seeking women if yiu are a guy. Let them get so envy of how good you are feeling that the simply cannot resist anymore. 

 

My personal preiorities

 

1 God (aka Truth and Love)

2 Gabriel (myself)

3 My direct family

4 Friends

5 other people (like you folks hahaha i dont care what you think about me hahahaha) 

 

Maybe GF would be an intermediary between family and friends. But remember: you go first.

 

This is all your to enjoy. Nothing has to be thrown away. You just gotta Awaken The Giant Within!!! YES! 

 

My Lp is help people overcome shyness through being the embodiment of Tranquility hahaha

 

True tranquility :):):) 

 

There can be peace even in the midst of chaos!!

 

Aw... I keep wanting to share so much, but there is simply not enough time to waste here ahhahaha

 

I think thats enough... my main worry is that I get side tracked... so i kept thinking during the trip as to how sum up in one sentence how i can keep my energy in high. I feel the only thing I need to do is keep doing what i am doing and not get fucking side tracked by overdoing shit hahahah it is like this: i fully allow my inner child to play you know?? Because “emotions are much more important than logic will ever be” (Leo Gura)

 

Anyway I got lots of insights. It doesnt end hahaha. And seriously... are you having fun? If not, you are doing it wrong hahaha