Alexo45

How Do I Get Out Of This Loop

4 posts in this topic

Hello,

i don't know what to do anymore. In the past i would have given up already, because i wouldn't even know that this was a problem with my ego, heck i didn't even know what the ego was, and wouldn't even research the problem i was having. Right now i'm very aware that i'm still self-sabotaging myself in many ways, even with working on my life purpose. Because my ego is even winning from me while i'm working on the most important thing in my life, i really have to stop this monster from taking my life once and for all, but i don't know how :(.

In the past i was self sabotaging with going to the gym, eating healthy, quitting smoking... . I don't know how, but i seemed to got past that and i'm doing it consistently right now. 


I would love to get consistent in studying for my life purpose, but i can't seem to do it. 10mins or more in, and my mind get's distracted. It's so stupid, because i can see this loop happening over and over.

1) I start studying 2) my mind gets in overdrive 3) Thoughts of how this life purpose is probably not the one, how i'm not making progress fast enough, how i'm a loser for not understanding something immediately, how i'm too stupid for the purpose,... 4) quit studying 5) doing some low ass conscious activity 6) feeling bad because of not studying and making progress.

That's how it always goes, and i can't seem to break the loop. So far i'm doing everything i can to stay healthy and have a good drive of energy throughout the day, but it doesn't seem to pay of in studying. I'm also meditating for at least 1 hour every day, and some days even 2 hours.

 

I desperately need a fix

 

Edited by Alexo45

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Your Inner Critic is calling you all of these names & is going to drive down your self-esteem, or rather reinforce low self-esteem if you already have that.  Forgive yourself and pat yourself on the back.  Then try again without judging or self-condemnation.  Do you have your infrastructure in place to do your life purpose?  I believe Leo made a video about that which is a good start.

One of the things I've found about Life Purpose is that sometimes it's difficult to get the creative spark reignited. Sometimes you'll be on fire & make some pretty good gains in your LP, but then it'll plateau & you might pull back from it or get distracted.  I think it's analogous to making gains at the gym...you hit plateaus, it gets boring, and you keep trying or maybe do something else for awhile & come back to it.

I assume you have Leo's LP course.  I do. B|  You should look into it if you haven't already. 

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@Alexo45 If you managed to quit smoking, start going to the gym and eat healthy. Maybe you should stick with what works, i.e grounding yourself in your body. Instead of studying your life purpose go more at it from a discovery angle, field trip, road trip, something practical.

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@Alexo45 Focus on small steps, if you can only learn one thing at a time and read for 10 minutes at a time, just do that consistently. Recognise in yourself how your improvement is happening a little at a time and that your competence will gradually get better too. I think you're stressing yourself out with goals that are too far out of your current comfort zone, the perfect place for learning is only a little bit out of your current level but not so far ahead. The little bit of challenge will feel exciting but not daunting, a nice dose of mental effort but not over strained or hopelessly grasping at something too difficult. 

 

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