Lynnel

Misogynistic Feelings (and Shadow Work)

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I've recently watched a video of your dear @Emerald and I noticed that I do have myself misogynistic feelings and beliefs along the lines of :

- women have all the sexual power

- women tend to become feminazi who all want to enslave men

- women do not care about your personality but only about your sexual reproductive value and nothing else

Obviously there is a lot of projected hatred on my part and a lot of hurt and I'm wondering how do I deal with this in a healthy manner.

So let's say I notice that I hate a certain type of people, that I have hate in my shadow, that I dislike people who are too lucky, bourgeois, or w/e. Once I notice this, how do I go about solving it ?

Any advice appreciated.

 

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@Lynnel give up on trying to fix the world when you can barely fix yourself. if you're still living internal wars, how can you improve the world?

that's an immature and hypocritical behavior.


unborn Truth

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@Lynnel Pick a judgment you have and do some research on how this behavior occurs. It will fill the gaps in your knowledge and show you, that it makes absolute sense and is actually neutral.

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10 hours ago, ajasatya said:

@Lynnel give up on trying to fix the world when you can barely fix yourself. if you're still living internal wars, how can you improve the world?

that's an immature and hypocritical behavior.

what ?

I'm not improving the world at all

I'm talking about my beliefs and my shadow which I wish to improve

@youngshinzen any concrete example ?

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@Lynnel you hold those beliefs because you believe that the world would be a better place without that kind of people.

this is what i did to overcome negative beliefs about some people: i became close to them. and during the time we talked, i was constantly observing my body and relaxing every muscle. i didn't want to make any point. i didn't even want to understand them better. i was simply getting used to their presence and to letting them be.

do you know anyone you'd call feminazi? :D
are you ready to watch your abdomen, shoulders, throat, forehead and hips get really tense? :D


unborn Truth

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@Lynnel

Noticing is definitely the first step. So congratulations on that. Now KEEP noticing every time it comes up. Be aware of when it happens and how it influences your behavior directly.

21 hours ago, Lynnel said:

- women have all the sexual power

- women tend to become feminazi who all want to enslave men

- women do not care about your personality but only about your sexual reproductive value and nothing else

Remember that our shadows / judgments about other people are never about them, they are about us.

So if you're noticing these kind of beliefs, ask yourself: how is this really about me?

What pain might you still be holding on?

It could be leftover feelings of resentment from not being successful with women. It could be hurt from a breakup. That's for you to dive in and figure out.


 

 

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On 8/17/2017 at 5:05 PM, Lynnel said:

I've recently watched a video of your dear @Emerald and I noticed that I do have myself misogynistic feelings and beliefs along the lines of :

- women have all the sexual power

- women tend to become feminazi who all want to enslave men

- women do not care about your personality but only about your sexual reproductive value and nothing else

Obviously there is a lot of projected hatred on my part and a lot of hurt and I'm wondering how do I deal with this in a healthy manner.

So let's say I notice that I hate a certain type of people, that I have hate in my shadow, that I dislike people who are too lucky, bourgeois, or w/e. Once I notice this, how do I go about solving it ?

Any advice appreciated.

It's a difficult issue to navigate because there are a lot of different factors coming together to create that feeling. I'll tell you my experiences with hatred of the feminine and females to give you an idea of what may be occurring with you. But this will be long because it's complex.

As a child of ten, despite being female, I suddenly became very misogynistic for a variety of reasons that I can now point to looking back (issues with family members, mean girls at school, being patronized and coddled by older kids and adults, society subtly deeming femininity as lesser than masculinity in many ways, being excluded from conversations and social groups because of my gender, extreme identification with my dad, etc.). I dis-identified myself with femaleness and decided instead that I was more like a guy. I saw femaleness as inferior so I decided that I was some exception to the rule, which was always how I coped with being born female. And in doing so, I became identified with maleness to a certain degree for about a year but many identifications still linger on unconsciously. So, I sought to separate myself from femaleness (and thus weakness by my perception) by showing how capable, pain-tolerant, and stoic I could be. So, at summer camp that year, I would have girls with sharp nails rake their nails down my arm until I nearly bled, just to show that I could stand the pain without flinching or reacting. And I would do other various shows of strength to distance myself from the fact that I was female.

Then, when I went into middle school, I decided to put that stage behind me and be okay with girls and be okay with being a girl. I think it was because everyone was going through puberty and I could no longer compete with boys strength-wise and that I cared about having a somewhat feminine appearance because I was a pre-teen/teenager and concerned with being attractive. But my misogyny was deep, so it stayed there unconsciously and I brought it all the way through my teen years. To be perceived as feminine felt like a real slight to me, with the exception of being seen as feminine in the attractiveness sense of the word. That was the only feminine trait that I wanted. I wanted to be a guy on the inside but a girl on the outside.

But the more subtle form that it took was in the form of resistance to values and strengths that are feminine. I had learned that masculine oriented values are good and that feminine oriented values are boring, trite, or negative. So, I got little excitement from emotional intelligence, love, and compassion. I was all about willpower, intellect, and success-mindedness.  On the positive side, I developed a really strong will-power and learned a lot and I brought myself through college on scholarships and my own dime. I also became independent young. I haven't lived with either of my parents since I was 16. But I neglected and repressed my feminine side and didn't develop that part of my personality... which is the majority of my authentic personality. So, if I am 25% masculine and 75% feminine, I was repressing 3/4 or nearly 3/4 of my most natural traits.

Then, when I was 19, I had a strange dream. I dreamt that I was in this cubicle of a furniture store where the set-up was like a psychologists office. I was sitting in a chair in the middle of the cubicle, when suddenly a beautiful woman showed up in the opening of the cubicle. She was tall and curvy and looked Native American by ancestry. She wore a bun and a tight fitted red business dress with high heals. And in seeing her, I was immediately enamored with her. I was in a complete stupor with attraction to this woman. She approached the back of my chair and looked down at me, and I tilted my head to look back at her still entranced by her presence. Then she asked me in a silvery voice, "Are you ready?" Without question, I said "Yes." Then there was a second pause as she exhaled. Then, on her inhale she breathed in a breath that was louder than a vacuum cleaner and her breath transformed her into an an old hag... and I don't mean an old lady. I mean if a person could be 1000 years old and walking around kind of old hag. Her eye sockets were empty. Her skin was super thin and stretched gray across her skeleton. And as she breathed, the black void of her mouth got wider and wider until it encompassed me completely and she swallowed me whole. I floated in a void for some amount of time until I was deposited in my childhood kitchen where I began looking through the cabinets.

Then, a little less than a year later, I had my experiences of ego-transcendence and many of my repressed traits and emotions came flowing back into my conscious mind. And I was surprised at how much femininity that I had repressed away. In fact, the whole experience was a very feminine experience somehow, and that was the only word I could use to describe it. Prior to that, I was of the notion that masculinity and femininity were just social constructs. This was the first time that I realized that I was dealing with feminine repression.

Looking back, I now relate that dream back to my feelings about my femininity and the beautiful woman was the beauty aspect of femininity that I liked and wanted to embody but the old hag was the repressed feminine (the parts of myself that I hated and locked away in the dungeon of my shadow), containing all of the feminine potentials that I had or could develop but was too afraid to. So, my psyche used my love of feminine beauty to lure me into a trap where the repressed feminine could swallow me and bring me into its world.

This is why I believe society is so obsessed with feminine beauty. It's the only part of femininity that we really like as a society, so we become obsessed with it because it is our only highly celebrated outlet for feminine expression... at least from an American perspective. But we all crave the feminine aspects of ourselves. Men have then too... just generally in lesser degree. And men are punished extra for expressing femininity.

So, if a person desperately wants to know the feminine but hates the feminine, hatred obsession and sexual obsession will likely result. And the sexual aspect of the obsession will fuel the hatred aspect of the obsession and vice versa. Unconsciously, here are the steps:

1. I desperately need to re-integrate the feminine (unconsciously)

2. Sex is the only acceptable outlet for becoming one with the feminine (or embodying feminine beauty in the case of straight women)

3. So, I need to have sex with women to connect with the feminine

4. So, if women reject me, it echoes my own internal split where I severed myself off from my feminine side. And the shadow form of femininity that bubbles beneath the surface (the hag) is cruel and sews resentment that is projected out onto women. The repressed feminine causes a lot of internal issues that deal with the self worth.

So, my guess would be that you have to work toward integrating your feminine aspects and other aspects that you've disowned because you learned that they were negative or lesser.

But I would also comfort you and tell you that your sense that women hold all the sexual cards is an illusion. Women aren't having to approach and deal with lots of rejection. And you will be able to find someone as a woman. And you don't have to worry about coming off as a creep. So, from that perspective, it's easier. But women also have to deal a lot having their worth only reduced only to their sexuality, youth, and attractiveness, which really feels awful.... like you're some kind of commodity. And it's more common to experience sexual abuses. Women can always find someone, but women tend to only like one guy who may not be interested in them in a serious way which hurts worse when the guy pays no interest because those kinds of feelings only come around every now and again. Women are not guaranteed an orgasm during sex and some women don't orgasm at all. Women are also more likely to get STDs from a man than a man is to get STDs from a woman due to the way the anatomy is. Women are also the ones that have to deal with pregnancy, and usually the greater portion of child rearing. A woman who bases any amount of her worth on her sexual attractiveness will deal with a very difficult transition as she grows older and no longer fits the archetype of the hot young thing. Women are judged very harshly for displaying their sexuality. Most women are either average looking to below average, so it isn't like these women are getting all kinds of privileges.

So, I know what I wrote is a big hodge podge but I hope that some of it is helpful to you. But the main takeaway is to try to reintegrate the repressed feminine traits and try to find the positive side of them.

Edit: Also, relative to the "feminazi" phenomenon, this kind of combativeness springs up because there's also a feeling of powerlessness that stems from the internal split and repression of the feminine. So, it's likely that you have such a strong reaction to feminazis because they mirror your own internal state to you. I really see feminazi-types and meninist kind of guys as essentially dealing with the same issue of feminine repression, just in different ways. But both ways are ultimately ineffective because both look at surface level phenomena and lash out at the other side using shaming and other tactics. Instead, these types of people should shift their paradigm from a tribalistic sort of "punish the enemy" perspective to a "What makes this whole thing tick, anyway?" kind of perspective. It gets very deep and very interesting, if you look at it deeply. The masculine/feminine system is like the mother of all systems in the field of duality. It's such a complex and multi-faceted topic that it becomes like solving a gigantic riddle to get to the bottom of it. But getting that kind of "big picture" perspective will help you remain non-judgmental and to gain insight into your own issue relative to the bigger issue.

Edited by Emerald

If you’re interested in developing Emotional Mastery and feeling more comfortable in your own skin, click the link below to register for my FREE Emotional Mastery Webinar…

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@Lynnel

  • If all men are insecure, indecisive or good for nothing, women have all the sexual power. Don't be underestimate the primitive triggers the rule of of emotions, especially in females.  
  • Some girls, but not most can be destructive. Let those feminazis do their thing, it's getting dated.
  • Do men care much about a girls personally when they just meet, would not think so. To some degree a lot of men can discard a girls personally completely for sex. Although it is true that men are attracted to "better" personalty traits, whilst girls "only" like them rationally. 

 "So guys are not that great either, but girls are still selfish" Well that one way of looking at it, it's better to drop the emotional side and admit that neither are perfect and that's alright.

That's all we get and if you really want to be alone for the rest of your life ,because girls aren't perfect, then that's your choice. We are not ment to be want to be alone, single forever. if we are ment be a certain way and we are, we tend to get rewarded for it. 

If you get your confidence etc to ridiculously high levels,  girls start acting like men but with a key differens, they assume all guys want to fuck them. So if you don't then, there is something wrong with the girl or you're gay or something. So you can imagine all the "justified" unappreciated sexual harassment you'll get, it is at this point remaining none-misogynistic is difficult.

Edited by Spiral

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@Emerald Huge thank you. Like I love you so much for what you're giving out to the world ! :)

I'll work slowly on the issue as everyone advised.

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@Lynnel You're welcome and thank you! Misogyny and other gender-related issues are very complex issues that seem very simple on the surface level. So, most people treat them as such and cannot figure out how to untangle themselves from issues on the individual level or untangle humanity from negative patterns on the macro level. So, there's a lot of pain and frustration. But the surface level phenomena are really just symptoms or reactionary symptoms that stems from the deeper issue of the imbalance between Yin and Yang in our current level of awareness as humans. Best of luck in liberating yourself from all that weighs you down. :)


If you’re interested in developing Emotional Mastery and feeling more comfortable in your own skin, click the link below to register for my FREE Emotional Mastery Webinar…

Emotionalmastery.org

 

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As usual, just meditate like a motherfucker.

I was probably worst than you in that department, now I can't even make judgment upon women anymore, and I actually like to discuss with them way more than men (they are funnier and more open minded for the most part).

This and read The way of the superior man from David Deidas.
You will understand why women tend to act and "lie" so much, it all make sense when you read it with an extremely open mind.

If you understand women and male psychology, there is no reason to be mysogynist, and you can't be a macho either, neither of them make sense if you truly understand how and why it works this way.

Edited by Shin

God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

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To quote Emperor Palpatine, "let the hate flow through you."

The hate isn't the problem.  The problem is that you feel the hate, and then feel bad about feeling the hate.  Seems like you want to be a "nice" person.  You don't want to have intense, messy emotions.  I hate to break it to you, but as long as you don't act on your hate, the world doesn't really care what you feel or think.  You can execute a million feminazis in your imagination, and it's fine.  There's no such thing as a thoughtcrime.

Shadow work is tricky business.  You can only access so much repressed material until you reach full enlightenment, so it's really, in my experience, a Sysyphean task.  I did quite a bit of shadow work a few years ago...and then I hit the wall with it.  Until I went higher in consciousness, which automatically dissolved some blocks, it was like pounding my head against the concrete.  

So...back to your situation.  Here's one way to think about it: the feminazis are doing the best they can, the cock carousel riders are doing the best they can, and you're doing the best you can.  So give everybody involved, including yourself, a break.  It is what it is.

Edited by Haumea

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