An Artists Meditation Journey++

[art]

I'm ART, musician in my mid-twenties located in Scandinavia.

I've been doing Holosync for around 10 months, and a meditation habit since april 2016. I've almost gotten it down everyday ever since I started, with a few exceptions.The last weekend I was at Ascension meditation course. I've been struggling with consistency of doing one technique, which I get a clear sense of after doing a lot of meditation the last days, this Ascension technique is highly "effective", easy to do, and I can feel very clearly changes in my body and state.

The last 3 days I've meditated for 4 hours, 3 hours Ascension and 1 hour Holosync divided during the day. It's pretty fascinating how much your states changes during one session, you can go from heaven to hell. Feel like my nervous system has been overstimulated somehow, because I'm very exhausted after some of the sessions. My body has a lot of tensions in my chest and stomach, and with this new technique I feel like they are "fighting" it and reprogram the tensions somehow, very hard to explain, but it will be interesting to see the progress of physical changes in my body with the Ascension technique.

Yesterday when I was going to bed, I suddenly was afraid of dying, as it was something that could happen in this moment. Fucking scary, I tried to stay awake in fear.. I guess from all that I've read and heard that this is a good sign of progress..? Also the last days I've felt as my brain has physically changed, as I've felt kind of sore and felt some physical activity in my head. 

I've tried to add the Mindfulness with labeling technique today, I can see how I'm clearly projecting judgements "from" others "to" myself, which is rooted in  some sort of negative belief. Even though I've recognized the beliefs, I find it hard to get rid of them. I've tried questioning them etc.. I know what they are and I know that they are false.. but still.! They FEEL as they are real. Have to do some research in how to get rid of core beliefs from multiple angles, because it annoys me and bring me pain for no god damn reason... 

I'm not sure how many days I will be doing the 4 hour thing, but with a lot of time to spare these days, I'm hoping to continue further and become conscious of my true self and get the gold medal ?? and live happily ever after?? (just kidding........?)

Edited August 15, 2017 by art
Misspelling 2