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onacloudynight

15 Day Meditation Challenge

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 I really love meditating and I especially love seeing how much more awareness I can gain in my everyday life.

Starting today, I have decided to do a 15 day challenge where I will spend 15 days meditating at least 3 hours a day. When I am done each day, I will post and share how it went, things I've learned, and any challenges that I faced. Looking forward to it!!!

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Day 1

What I accomplished:

2x40 minutes of Mindfulness Meditation

1x35 minutes of Mindfulness Meditation

1x35 minutes of Do nothing Meditation

3x10 minutes of Concentration Meditation.

 

Today was pretty peaceful. I have been mediating for a little over a year and a half now and am starting to notice the fruits of my effort. Recently I entered a state where, whenever I am going about my everyday activities, my inner voice quiets down and all that is left is whatever I am focused on. It wasn't all that difficult to do 3 hours and I am pretty confident I can finish this 15 day challenge. I am trying to remain mindful 24/7 and what I ran into today was amazing! I was walking in Walmart and I just felt like everything around me was perfect. The more I get equated with the present moment, the more I realize how perfect everything already is. There is really nothing to change. Overall today was a pretty awesome day! Looking forward to tomorrow!

 

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Day 2

What I accomplished:

3x40 minutes of Mindfulness Meditation

1x40 minutes of Do nothing Meditation

4x5 minutes of Concentration Meditation.

Today was similar to yesterday. It was pretty laid back and peaceful. It is very apparent now how loud and obnoxious my family is. I am finding myself craving more of a quiet atmosphere. I seem to be really sensitive to loud environments. Anyways meditating for this long has proven to be pretty easy so far. I'm looking forward to attending a mini 2 day retreat at the Bhavana society in a couple of weeks. This will be my first retreat so I am pretty pumped. All in all I can say I am enjoying this so far.

 

Edited by onacloudynight

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Day 3

What I accomplished:

2x40 minutes of Mindfulness Meditation

1x22 minutes of Mindfulness Meditation

1x40 minutes of Do nothing Meditation

2x10 minutes of Concentration Meditation.

Today was a little bit more difficult than the other days. An old friend called me today and wanted to hang out, which took away some time that I could meditate. I noticed today that I am also extremely agitated like I can't sit still. I feel really hyper, like I am on coke or something. I really am craving sex. I wish I could just terminate the desire completely as it is getting in the way of my meditation practice. I know that sex will never completely fulfill me. I will just keep wanting it more and more. Hopefully as time goes on my attachment to sex will wane.

Edited by onacloudynight

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Day 4

What I accomplished:

3x40 minutes of Mindfulness Meditation

1x30 minutes of Do nothing Meditation

3x10 minutes of Concentration Meditation.

I would say today was above average. I was pretty blissful when I woke up, but then during the evening, some sadness came over me. It didn't really bother me that much, since I realize that you have to suffer sometimes in order to grow. Speaking of suffering, I have a lot of involuntary screaming that happens during my meditation, followed by hysterical laughter. I sometimes worry that I might have a mental disorder, but I like to think that this is all part of the purging that happens with meditation lol. Also my meditation sessions have been going pretty deep. I seem too enter this state where it feels like I am asleep, but I am still awake and aware of everything. It is hard to describe. Lately, I have really stopped caring about things. All I really care about is raising my awareness, as nothing in this world really appeals to me. I am seriously contemplating becoming a monk and am planning on visiting a monastery to see if the monk life appeals to me. Anyways I have been loving meditating this long and I also love that I am journaling about it. Excited for tomorrow!

Edited by onacloudynight

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Day 5

What I accomplished:

2x40 minutes of Mindfulness Meditation

1x20 minutes of Mindfulness Meditation

1x40 minutes of Do nothing Meditation

2x10 minutes of Concentration Meditation.

Today was pretty bipolar. The first half of the day felt depressing and irritating. Towards the evening though I felt a sense of deep calm and serenity. My do nothing meditations feel extremely deep. It feels like "I" disappear for a while and all that is left is a peaceful void. I gained an insight into my mind today while I was at the mall. I realized how much I live in a fantasy world. For example when I see someone at the mall my mind immediately makes assumptions about that person. It assumes  what they are thinking about me and who they are as a person without even talking with them. Instead of just being present and being aware of the person as just the person in the present moment. My mind goes into storytelling mode and I tend to buy into the assumptions it tells me, but they are nothing but a complete fiction! I just find it laughable that we are literally living in a conceptual fantasy land for the majority of our day and how unconscious we are to actual reality.

Edited by onacloudynight

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Day 6

What I accomplished:

3x40 minutes of Mindfulness Meditation

1x40 minutes of Do nothing Meditation

2x10 minutes of Concentration Meditation.

My mindfulness levels are through the roof! After the third sit, I felt like I was in the zone. I am so much more aware of my body now. It moves so smoothly and elegantly, which is oddly satisfying. My body also feels really really good. This is almost reminding me of how I used to feel when I tripped acid. It just amazes me how much awareness I have gained. I can't even imagine how much more awareness is possible. My guess is an infinite amount. I guess we will just have to wait and find out though. Looking forward to tomorrow!

Edited by onacloudynight

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Day 7

What I accomplished:

2x40 minutes of Mindfulness Meditation

1x15 minutes of Do nothing Meditation

2x10 minutes of Concentration Meditation.

I think that's all for today. I seem to have run into a wave of depression, which is really debilitating. I really don't care about anything at the moment. All I really care about is meditating. I think I realized deeply today that nothing can ever completely fulfill you. You will always want more. I can hangout with a friend or listen to a really good song and in the moment it is great, but after it is over I get a feeling of emptiness that washes over me. Everything is impermanent. Nothing ever lasts, which is why I see it now pointless to chase after things. Hopefully tomorrow goes smoother.

Edit: It's been an hour later and I feel fucking amazing now! My emotions make absolutely no sense. Oh well such is the life.

Edited by onacloudynight

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Day 8: Fail

It's hard for me to meditate. I feel like I am in an altered state of consciousness. I am feeling things more deeply and have felt really depressed the whole day. I feel like I am in a trance. I feel really empty and numb, like a helpless little child. I am going to cut back on the meditating today. At least I can say I did my best.

Edited by onacloudynight

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21 hours ago, onacloudynight said:

At least I can say I did my best.

Thoughts is what can set us free. 

 

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