How To Make Habits Stick ?

[Jonson]

I've been trying to implement MEDITATION for 9 months or so..   and i almost meditated everyday since then ...

The problem is that I didn't control myself and i interrupted my session many times .. or i moved a lot ... or i just laid in bed 30 minutes when i was tired ... 

or i was doing it late at night , it wasn't consistent  ... 

[egoeimai]

I need to hear the best answer.?

[RossE]

@Jonson It doesn't matter what time of day you do it at. Just make sure you do it every single day. No excuses.

The fact you've come here and posted about asking how to make the habit stick shows that there's still uncertainty, there's still resistance. It's really as simple as just doing it every single day. That's how you make the habit stick. I keep a diary of my meditation sits so that I know I'm doing it every day. Other than that, I don't use a fancy technique other than just doing it every day no matter what.

You can't control how each session will be. You will have some really bad days. That's fine, my friend. That's all part of the process. Just do it every day and let the practice do what it does. It will dramatically change your life.

[egoeimai]

What happens if you have resistance in you @RossE

[RossE]

@egoeimai I try to deconstruct the resistance into its components: inner thought, emotional sensation etc. Then I just sit anyway. Shortly after I begin the technique the resistance is usually gone.

[Nospiedums]

Why do you even meditate? Dont tell me the answer, its for you. Is it because you truly want it or just because people around this self-dev community do it and say its good?

Meditation is just one way of clearing your mind, if that is what you are after. There are others ways to. I like running, it really shut my mind off and I can enjoy just being in the moment with no ideas in my head. Maybe meditation is just not for you, there are other meditation types, do some research. Sports can be good, the flow state.

[Guest Annetta]

@RossE do you have any advice for anticipation anxiety?  How exactly to deconstruct this resistance?

[RossE]

@Annetta What is anticipation anxiety?

[Spiral]

Discipline, if it comes to mediation set a time for it everyday and not just before you go to bed as that time may differ. Also don't try to implement multiple habit at the same time as that often leads to none of them getting established. 

[Guest Annetta]

@RossE anxiety that comes before having to do something, even if that thing is pleasant.

So instead of doing something productive, anxiety about doing it will fill up my time.  

Would like to decrease anxiety 

[S33K3R]

@Annetta I get this. I used meditation techniques to control the emotions and my egos reaction to the emotions. I would watch my breath and just do without judgement of self or others. Over time i realized the anxiety is triggered by deep memories of anxiety from childhood. From meditation I saw my anxiety to cook, do dishes, or go grocery shopping was because my family would fight over who will cook, fight over who will do dishes, so anything relating to food became anxiety rooted. After discovering this i discovered a new hobbie. I love to cook! 

Do as I did when emotion arises just watch the breath in and out do not let a single inhale/exhale pass without your awareness on that breath. Just breathe and move forward acknowledging anxiety but politely excusing the self from engaging the anxiety. As if you are passing through. Your mind will be forced to show you the things that cause the anxiety. You will realize they are silly little things.

Think of it this way. We all get messed up from childhood trauma. Children are limited in their ability to comprehend reality. Therefore your running from fears created as a child. Your ego has hidden these fears and dressed them up to be very scary. It only takes a moment of your adult brain to look at the situation again only to realize there was never a monster to begin with. Just a kid afraid of the dark. ? 

@Jonson

There is no quick fix either you put in the effort and change, or don't and coast. 

Remember what a habit is. A habit is by definition something you are in the habit of doing. Therefore in order to be in the habit of doing something you have to do it. 

You are in the habit of being flakey with your commitments possibly this is what you are asking? Perhaps you need to learn to never break promises you make yourself? This again requires commitment to change. Learning something new is 10% learning and 90% doing remember this. To many get caught in learning obsessively and somehow believe they are doing something. 

 

Edited July 28, 2017 by S33K3R

[Guest Annetta]

@S33K3R awesome, thanks for this i have some stuff to do tomorrow so I'll give this a try beforehand❤❤

[WaterfallMachine]

Most people think of discipline as just "Something you do". But there are all kinds of different techniques to make things faster. Here are several articles on that are easy to understand with scientific backing and some that are also even emotionally compelling enough to inspire you to action.

A link on habits.

http://jamesclear.com/habits

A link on motivation.

http://jamesclear.com/motivation

Procrastination

http://jamesclear.com/procrastination

Behavioral Science

http://jamesclear.com/behavioral-psychology

The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg is also a wonderfully informative book to buy for this.