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Lynnel

Massive Stainless Steel Wall Of Resistance (?)

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I've had this life purpose since I was arround 13 - becoming a huge amazing writer and there has always been something keeping me in check and not allowing me to really doing it. I've done the life purpose course and my purpose is inspiring, amazing and feels very authentic.

I've written daily for the past 5 months since finishing the course but there is something preventing me from finishing a book and working on it enough so it feels right.

I have the motivation and desire to even work 10 hours a day on it easily and I have the inspiration.

I've explored my mind for whatever crazy reasons for this massive stainless steel wall of maybe resistance and I haven't found a solution. I tried all those things :

1) Releasing most of my fears, such as rejection, criticism, etc.

2) Inspiring myself trought music

3) baby step and fighting resistance by sedona, with daily habits (which I have a lot of)

4) Contemplating deep reasons for this blocage, what could be the danger for my identity if I ever suceed

5) letting go of perfectionnism

6) Allowing myself to be a writer before actually becoming one and not feel like an impostor while writing before I have published something

And many more different things I can't quite remember. I mean I've tried a LOT. I'm getting more and more frustrated with this issue because I would like to finally fucking succeed.

I mean I know it's supposed to be hard and harsh but NOT THAT complicated. I know what is effort and effort doesn't feel that way. There is this wall for whatever reasons I can't seem to be able to deconstruct and get arround and finally succeed.

ANY action steps are very welcome.

I'll be taking psychedelics soon in hope of finding solutions.

I'll answer any questions if needed but seriously shoot your ideas because I wanna fix this.

 

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I don't know anything about your situation except for what you said, but it seems like you might need an editor. Write down all of your ideas as succinct as possible and have someone else edit it. Maybe you're too attached to your work? Maybe you want it to be absolutely perfect? Maybe you're viewing writing more as work and less as an artistic gift? I've found that if you're doing something as creative and personal as writing, viewing it as a gift for your audience and not your "purpose" could put a little less pressure on the outcome.

Would love to know if any of this helped!

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4 hours ago, Lynnel said:

... I'm getting more and more frustrated with this issue because I would like to finally fucking succeed.

I mean I know it's supposed to be hard and harsh but NOT THAT complicated. I know what is effort and effort doesn't feel that way. There is this wall for whatever reasons I can't seem to be able to deconstruct and get arround and finally succeed.

ANY action steps are very welcome.

I'll be taking psychedelics soon in hope of finding solutions.

I'll answer any questions if needed but seriously shoot your ideas because I wanna fix this.

Writers write right? Then if you do that, and enjoy it then you have succeeded.

Business people get busy with business. If you wish to be successful in getting published and book sales, then you need to focus on what it takes to do that. Maybe what you like writing about is not what will sell (today / season). Besides, most writers wrote many books before they got their first book published.

The strange thing about artists (writers included) is that once they start selling their art, and keep doing so for several years, they start becoming successful. Why so long? Because the public starts thinking that because the artist has been around for awhile that they must be successful, and therefore their art must be good. So they buy your art / books to find out what is so good about it. Their minds will adapt to finding what is good about it with minimal criticism or negative judgement. Most of these people will become ardent patrons and keep buying your books (until something better comes along).

So hang in their and don't give up. Be patient. Remember, those that hang in their are most likely to become successful financially.

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@Lynnel

Have you read The War of Art by Steven Pressfield?

Sounds like you might be in a perfect place to check it out.


 

 

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@Wyatt I'll try this out and most likely I have a lot ( even too much) of pressure on me.

@Visitor I'm actually more worried about producing art I really like myself and that feels right than outright amazing success. I mean, I wanna live of my life purpose sure, but It doesn't matter much if I make it to the legendary status or whatever. I defined success as giving my gift to the world and being proud of my work, not like earning x money or x fame with it because it's very shallow. 

@aurum Yeah I've read it and I've been bruteforcing the whole thing a bit but this approach doesn't work. Struggle cannot make you fullfilled. It almost feels like pathological adaptation. a bit of resistance, demons, effort ? Sure. But way too much and you can't enjoy the journey, and what's the point of a journey you cannot enjoy ?

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Forgive me if I'm wrong but...

Can't you try to somehow accept this resistance? You seem like you're really trying hard to get rid of it.

When I had troubles with my own psyche, I decided to accept them and not to give them that much attention, it worked nicely.

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@Wyatt

Update : so I showed a chunck of my work to a aspiring writter friend of mine and her being quite impressed and giving me additionnal tips made some kind of shift where I got some form of support and was able to relax and enjoy the process more.

So there is a small change in the right direction - in the end your suggestion worked out

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