Trip Report Ayahusca - You = Me :p

[mp22]

Is it possible that there are infinite truths since its all infinite? In other words, you or someone else may experience a slightly or completely different truth?  Could truth be relative?

[Edvard]

13 hours ago, Gabriel Antonio said:

i think it is a good thing to actually prepare yourself through negative visualization. this way you build your tolerante to pain, the adversities of life. well, time to do some healing. 

Does this mean you can prepare for the next life? And if you become fully enlightened, will you forget that in the next life, so it will be an infinite cycle of pain, misery and hapiness through all possible conscious states, whether it's through an alien or a tree? Do you get these kinds of insights from this experience?

[Dodo]

3 minutes ago, mp22 said:

Is it possible that there are infinite truths since its all infinite? In other words, you or someone else may experience a slightly or completely different truth?  Could truth be relative?

"Truth is absolutely relative. So relative, that it is absolutely so" - Leo Gura (from latest video on understanding infinity)

Edited July 18, 2017 by Dodo

[Gabriel Antonio]

@Edvard in a way, all the unconscious in the world are also yourself. Your lifetime as an individual is unique. There can't be two exactly equal leaves. But see, why cling to this experience if deep down you know that you are infinite? 

I was walking on an avenue, and I could see that it wouldn't fucking matter if I threw myself to a car. I was so conscious of my true nature that I become desidentified with my body. 

Crazy thought have been popping in my head, and the secret here is to trust. No matter what it is, trust. You are the creator of it all. Imagine like all your visual field collapsed and there was a deep nothingness. From that, arises everything.

You don't have to change your responses. It is matter of treating yourself with kindness. Become a cool parent to your ego. There are no enemies. If it is hard, take a break.see?

The more relaxed you are, the greater love you receive. The more you expand your breath, the more aliveness you will feel. 

It is a scale.

A great question: "Can I let that go?" be honest here. If you can't, let it be. It is there for a reason. Maybe the problem is not that you are getting fat, but that you guilt yourself from eating. The moment you drop your guilt, things will begin to transform automatically 

You begin to feel like you are flowing with life, just like a cat or a small child are. Do nothing means just being.

Ppl, if you approach enlightenment from a neurotic and desperate way, this life-long pursuit will make you miserable. Instead, spoil yourself a little  do something that society doesn't approve haha I trust you

It's so freaking funny to be in this frequency. I feel like I am just being a channel. Haha.

The moment you trust yourself is the moment you become whole again. You become a force of Nature once again. You become as strong as a fucking waterfall or a volcano ? hahaha and you don't even have to make effort. Hahaha. You just sit back and let God work itself through you. Hahaha. it's amazing. You remember the funniness of this human incarnation. Haha. Watch your ego wanting to get serious. Haha. I hope you have noticed that you have noticed that. 

The stairway to liberation comes when you become yourself once again. When you relax like a child. When you move with such softness that it feels like your making love. you won't get too far by hating yourself. You are exactly where you needed to be. Got that? Haha

Hahaha you're a joke. Remember? Hahaha aw..

No matter where you go, the Divine controls you. Freaky, uh? 

 

[Gabriel Antonio]

@mp22 why would that matter? Haha.  philosophizing is infinite. You can make a case for both alternatives. But the feeling of Oneness is beyond everything. The thing is, we waste too much time with theory. As someone mentioned, you have to live it. 

You read too much philosophy. Haha that is a huge trap haha. So do I.

It's here. Do you feel this? I am here. 

The more you dwell in the Now, the more you realize that the only truth is the truth of the Divine. You are in heaven, you just don't know it.

You can philosophize as much as you want. Haha. It's infinite!

Hahahaha

[MiracleMan]

On 7/15/2017 at 10:22 PM, Gabriel Antonio said:

Here I am. 

It's infinite. Haha. 

Do you understand? It is infinite! It's fucking infinite! You are the only thing that ever existed. You are Hitler, you are Jesus,
you are a child playing in the sand. 

The ego structure is all a big infinite matrix. The more you try to deconstruct it, the bigger it gets. 

What does really matter? No matter what you're doing, you're doing correctly. You are in the matrix! I am the matrix. I am you. I am
infinite compassion, infinite guilt, infinite shame, infinite hatred, infinite lives, infinite language, infinite porn. It's all the
same thing. If you study computers, you will understand that you are exactly it. What holds all this web? Nothing and everything. 

Life is a fucking paradox. Infinite compassion or infinite hatred? 

The idea I have about my life and all my petty problems are joke because I am you. I am my dog. I am the dust. I am the worst
criminal. On a different time and space. 

IT IS ALL A FUCKING CYCLE! HAHAHA It is infinite! It never ends whether you want it or not. Consciousness is infinite. We are all
made of the same fabric. The petty that I have, you have also. The self-censorship within myself is present in all human beings. I am
just a fucking cell. The strangest thing is that you cannot grasp this. It is as if trying to stop time. I don't know, I am just
confused here.  

It all starts with the first step. All huge successes started with a first step. Do it imperfectly but start. This realization of our
true nature requires tons of responsibility and at the same time zero responsibility. In a way, I am just a tiny cell of the
Manifestation of consciousness. I don't have any fucking responsibility, and at the same time I know that the animals that are
getting slaughtered are ME! All the children that ever felt hurt, abandoned, or rejected are actually myself. As I mention, it is
infinite. I am you, remember? Haha. 

All this idea of "my" life seemed like a joke. Of course I will born again. I am infinite. INFINITE! HAHAHA. I am all that ever was. 

I am so grateful to Leo for all his hard work. I am so grateful for everybody who spend hours and hours on this forum and feel like
you're destroying your life. All I can say is: it is infinite. Infinite births and deaths. Infinite situations. Infinite
possibilities of the mind. Infinite lifetimes. You were Cleopatra. Haha. It is all one hahaha. 

Infinite judgements. 
Infinite shame.
Infinite tension.
Infinite relaxation. 
Infinite infinity. Hahaha!

I feel so fucking inspired. I feel like I had a glimpse of who I really am. It's so crazy to see that this lifetime is just a cycle.
YOU ARE AN ILLUSION. There is no one who is writing here. My cells are like cars on a busy avenue. There isn't much I can do except
engage in consciousness. It fucking  is infinte hahaha
 
When you notice that, you will start laughing. This is all a fucking structure. The moment you brake it, a larger, harder structure
emerges immediately. HAHAH it's infinite. 

All people you walked by today are actually you. You are your cat. You are me.

I feel fucking amazing. A HUGE pressure was lifted off my shoulders. Sure, i will forget this insight infinite times, but it is
there. No matter the situation, here you are. You are everything that ever existed. Just on a different space and time. You are
literally your mom and dad. I am my ancestors. If we trace down to the start, there is only one. We are leaves of the same tree.
Infinite leaves. You cannot die. What dies is the structure. BOOM! Gone. 

I keep repeating "it's infinite" as if my life depended on this. Ha. Having the insight of no-self, a natural feeling compassion
arises. You simply get people. You are like, "oh, why i am going to judge this person if I am that?" I have been quite selfish
lately, and that doesn't make much sense. 

To reach these higher stages, you have to face infinite fear. The bigger the fear, the bigger the expansion. We are composed of
polarities. 

I had a very beautiful image in my mind in which i recalled a conversation i had with a close friend this week. i could see from his
point of view. and i could also feel that he had the insight of interbeing. it was as if he was seeing and sensing everything that i
was feeling because he is extremely developed and has gone through infinite hells haha. 

It is so fucking obvious haha. 

I am beginning to lose it. But... did I ever had it?

Gone. "Make me one with everything." HAHA, i remembered that joke during the trip. haha. life IS a trip. infinite trips. haha.
infinite hatred. infinite egos. infinite fear. infinite courage. infinite repetition because it is right under your nose and you
don't see it haha. 

"You keep wanting wanting so much, why not want EVERYTHING?" Jack Kornfield

it doesn't make much sense writing this name since he is me. HAHAHA. I can't stop laughing. 

It is all a fucking matrix, infinite structure.
 
My mind simply cannot graps what I have experienced. I felt for all the highly schizophrenic folks out there (actually, in here (:P).
Language is infinite. 

I have been a pretty lazy-ass guy, but to Existence this doesn't fucking matter. It is a never ending process. 

You = Buddha = Hitler = Leo = Donald Trump 

Can you see that these are only names? Do you grasp how shallow "names" and "dates" are? It is a joke to plan because all we have is
the now. hHAaha. if you still have checkboxes to check before remembering who you TRULY are, well, the checkboxes are infinite. Haha.
It is a dark hole. I am Christopher Hitchens HAHAHA. It is so hilarious. For most part I think, "dude, I am going crazy." Good.
Awareness is beyond everything. Because it is fucking infinite. I want to program that into your mind. It is all infinite. 

Anyway, thanks to all the Buddhas, thanks to all my reflections I come across. Pure joy awaits you. And pure pain awaits you. Pure
monkey mind. Everything I wrote is monkey mind. It is pointing to something greater. It is possible to escape the matrix? No, you're
part of it. It is like a cell trying to rebel against all the trillion cells haha. haha. it is so beyond you. I want you to
experience this. 

We are very priviliged to get the ultimate knowledge from all these amazing people out there - matt kahn, infinite waters, leo.
People waste so much time with traditional dual ways of worshipping a God as if there were gonna be a "reward". It is like this, a
drop of water remember that it is water. it's infinite, remember? i warn you: once you get this experience, your ego will quickly
get bored. It will come up with infinite thoughts, judgements, projections. It's ok but realize all this monkey mind is like a
never-ending hole. The more you engage in thinking, the more content is generated. simple as that. so what activities can you do that
will bring you back into harmony? actually. everything is in harmony. 

The thing is, "other thoughts cannot deeply change other thoughts." The key is expand your awareness. And psychedelics are a HUGE
time-saver (haha, time is an illusion). life is a trip. that's all I can say. hahah

At some point I wanted to take more ayahuasca, but then I thought, "shit! i want take more of myself." it is as if i was in lack,
lacking the proper clothes, lacking... always lacking... dude, remember to fry the big fish. things take care of themselves. it's
hard to trust, but that's it. you have no control. but You have all control. 

i feel very humble. i feel like listening to people. it is all so beautiful. even lower conscious behaviors. they all stem from the
desire to be happy. yet we don't pay attention to the results we're getting. anyway, that's it dude or girl. I feel in a way like
just a matter of recognizing who you are. 

it's infinite fun. it's infinite seriousness. poles. positivity or negativity. We are included in everything. I feel like I am a cell
telling to other cells that there is a bigger body we're part of. And this body is part of the cells of the world. And the world is a
cell. Micro and macro. You are your heart!! Even though you don't pay attention to it, it is working 24/7. can you imagine that? it
never fucking stops till you're gone. Haha. you'll be gone soon hahahha. me too

i am the youngest, 
i am the oldest, 
i am the billionaire, 
i am the poorest, 
i am the saint, 
i am everything in between also. including yourself. hah. it is funny to send messages to your other selves.

people, if you feel stuck, please consider trying psychedelics. i can understand why I have been going through hell. It is not possible to expand your awareness otherwise. haha. because it includes everything. 

well, as you can read, it is a real mind boggler haha. if you can let yourself go for a moment, it happens. you'll go, "OH MY GOD!
that's fucking obvious." 

my desire is to be ok with being part of this matrix. and really, no matter what I do is absolutely correct. it never ends. you don't have to throw away anything. you don't need to get rid of your overthinking, your bad habits. haha. the idea that you have any control at all is an illusion. let us remember lavoisier (a.k.a., yourself), "nothing can be created. nothing can be destroyed. everything is transformed." 

transformation. you are a metamorphosis of your dad and mom ahaha. i am laughing so hard at myself right now because "i exist as i am. that is enough." you don't to change the world. when you change yourself, the world *which is you* transforms. there are the individual level and the collective level of awakening. I love this word. Awakening. You are the Buddha. Dude, how did we stayed for 42 days meditating under that Boddhi tree? 

to me, the message is clear: you have no control over anything. have you seen what happens when a person drops a bad habit? a brand-new arises. in most cases, it is even a worse one. we are so stuck in this vortex of endless information that we forget what is beyond all this. The Silent Observer. actually, there is no observer. got it? probably not because it is ungraspabble. 

everything i wrote here is being repeated over and over. maybe it is time to take a deep breath. and learn how to surf. 

i feel like the more I write, the farther the Truth goes. Words are endless. Unfortunately it is not possible to feel it through words -- but only through direct experience. So I applaud you for being on this forum, watching Leo's content, and really educating yourself what is possible. Haha, there's nothing left to say. I feel like everything else is secondary. 

i'm curious to see my upcoming days. haha. that's a lie. haha. 

correct less, do more. dude, i feel so stuck right now. again, i am lost in this maze. i feel like i am slowly conquering my insanity. i am first accepting the truth that there is nothing wrong with me. i am perfectly fine.  

trust 

I really want to try ayuhuasca, but my mental state is crowded with so much fear, I think if I was in a proper ceremony and I felt safe enough to let my guard down I could do it.  I had some really terrifying trips before, but that was back when I was having panic attacks and I was also using them recreationally, I was in a situation prone to anxiety.  DMT scares the shit out of me because of what people describe.  I had a bad trip on salvia where I cleared an entire bowl of a 32x extract, I heard the voice of what I perceived as Satan, not to mention i left this world, and when i came back it took me at least 30 seconds to remember where I was and who I was. 

[Gabriel Antonio]

@MiracleMan oh my god! That's horrible. What helps me have good trips is to exercise before or during the medicine kicks in.

F.E.A.R. 

FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL

see? Love wants to desperately enter you, and you're in denial about it haha. Fear is necessary because an illusory part of yourself knows that will die. It is "Satan"; it simply is a structure that wants to stay alive, maintain its homeostasis. This principle is what makes life possible, so don't go around thinking it is the "Devil". Haha. Only love is here haha

You don't have to take psychedelics to enter this frequency. It simply is a matter of choosing to invoke the divine that's already alive in you. The only thing it requires is that you surrender and open your chest really wide. Hehe 

It's untouchable, but we all know it is here. Hehe. See?

Let heaven in Hehe let god enter you and dance? 

[Raymondo]

I am probably late at this thread but if you really became enlightened and if everything is one... then why are you so happy and sharing it with us? When you are enlightened aren't you suppose to realize that nothing matters including telling us about this? See this is why I dont know if this is just some way to manipulate me into taking those drugs and then get manipulated by the drug or whether there is really something unexplainable you realize. This is why I dont know which one it is.

[Elephant]

@Raymondo do you remember when you were at your peak of happiness in your life? Did the actions had to have a meaning for you to do them?

[Gabriel Antonio]

On 3/21/2018 at 10:19 PM, Raymondo said:

why are you so happy and sharing it with us?

because it's fucking infinite... i didn't claim to have gotten enlightened.. but it was certainly a very profound experience ... i never felt like that ever since... with that level of understanding... of integration... and you're right in the sense that words cannot describe the thing

 

On 3/21/2018 at 10:30 PM, Elephant said:

do you remember when you were at your peak of happiness in your life? Did the actions had to have a meaning for you to do them?

exactly! i was in ecstasy and felt like sharing .. maybe overshared idk.. it's like leo's video on enlightenment happening in real time.. someone from outside will not understand that.. or as leo says, who is stuck in the materialistic paradigm... too much logic...