What To Talk About? How To Talk About Bullshit?

[thortho]

On 2/18/2016 at 9:53 AM, tomasCZ said:

My problem is that after few sentences or minutes of talking I don't know what to say next. I'm able to talk only about "serious" things like carrier, etc.

Listen more to what they're saying, and try to find some questions to ask related to that. The way it's coming off from your description is that you talk about yourself for a bit and then run out of steam - it's not entirely clear how much they're saying, or if they're even getting a word in at all, but if you're basically just giving them a monologue, then the conversation's going to die fairly quickly.

It could work better to give a short introduction, ask a question about her, and then, based on her reply, either comment on her answer or ask a follow-up question. Now, it shouldn't come off as a job interview (and absolutely not as an interrogation) where all you do is ask and ask and ask - you do need to put a little of yourself out there as well, at least when it's something you relate to (so, she says e.g. that she loves dogs - and you do, too - then you can get into talking about dogs a little; if you have or had dogs, there are stories there, or you can talk about various breeds, what kind of dog you'd like to get, that sort of thing).

Or, you could work up on having a few "safe" topics up your sleeve. The usual stuff: Line of work (does she like her job - why/why not), cats or dogs, interesting movies seen recently (or books read, or TV shows or whatever), some hobbies. And so on and so forth, just build up a reserve of conversational topics. And remember to listen to what she says, and show that you're listening with further questions and comments.

Also, short lulls in conversations aren't bad, but if after 30-90 seconds of sitting in silence and neither of you manage to find anything to talk about, or if neither of you are interested enough in the other person to ask even the most basic questions? Yeah, that's pretty bad.

Edited February 19, 2016 by thortho

[stalker]

@MonikaBcn Last girl I talked with is a dancer. I am very interested in dancing. Very curious and passionate.  After 5th question in a row she put me in a black list.

How that is supposed to work? It's not just a case, it's more like a rule.

People don't like questions. They like listening, they like stories and entertainment.

 

[MonikaBcn]

@stalker Really? I can't imagine why would she do that, what questions did you ask?

As far as I know people love to talk about themselves as long as you don't ask uncomfortable questions.

Maybe you didn't give anything back and it really felt like questioning to her? Or maybe you are one of these guys who claim that being fat, having long greasy hair and only one pair of shoes is perfectly fine, bcz only what you have inside should matter...

I don't know! Need more details!

Edited February 19, 2016 by MonikaBcn

[stalker]

@MonikaBcn My health and hygiene is ok, beleive me.

Maybe your woman advices don't cost anything. 

[MonikaBcn]

@stalker If your health and hygiene is fine then it must be sth else

Edited February 19, 2016 by MonikaBcn

[Blessed81]

I dont know what else to say other then you need to read his entire book and all the pieces will come together.  Its to hard for me to give you little bits and pieces of it and for you to understand it just off a couple basic ideas of mine.  You really dont need to say much when talking to a girl, you want to keep her talking by asking her questions.  Women should be doing 80% of the talking.  You want to remain mysterious so she will want to spend mor time with you so she can find out what youre all about.  once you get her number, the goal is the hang out, have fun, and hook up.

 Repeat again and again.  If you cannaot hold a conversation with someone by atleast asking them questions about themselves then you are gonna be in for a lot of work.  Trust me man, read the book, watch his videos that pertain to your situation cause trust me he has ones for your specific issues.  

[Jesper]

Just talk about vegetables or raisin bread! 

Here is another video: Never Run Out of Things to Say with Girls

Edited February 20, 2016 by Jesper

[tomasCZ]

Thanks for many interesting answers. Many great videos and the book looks also helpful. I'm going to test these advices in practice and see where it gets me. Thank you guys!