Parents Using Me As Emotional Crutch And Ask Money Every Month

[AlexB]

Hey there, I guess the title is pretty self explanatory but I'll go in more depth. 

Basically my mothers husband has alcohol problems and pot problems (he's the first aggressive person I ever saw under the effect of weed)  he is a real ass kisser outside the house, and a total asshole inside, I always had fights with them when I lived with them at the point that they kicked me out the house, of course I was ready for the worst because I was actively on self help stuff. I got back in touch with them after fixing my life outside the house with a job and a house because I thought 'well its my family got to give them another chance.  Now lately my mom cough him cheating and they had pretty bad fights and had constantly called me to pour their misery on me, they had fight so hard at the point that their pitbull got angry and sent them to the hospital. I got to them to take them out and I said OK you guys are over now you have to divorce. I sent her husband at my place and started living with my mom again, after a week they decided to give it another shot, of course they're back fighting and calling me and stressing me out like hell. 

The fact is that I said already that I don't want to know anything about their relationship anymore, her husband understood it and doesn't call me anymore, my mom still calls, the fact is that if I don't help her as her emotional tampon I feel guilty after, if I do help her it fucks up my whole life because I'm constantly thinking of the negative stuff she says. 

I know it's been long to read I tried to be as short as possible, thank you everybody

[AlexB]

The question would be what's the best action I can take in a situation like this, sorry I didn't mention it ahah

[Visitor]

Live and let live.

Realize that everybody is totally responsible for their OWN thoughts and actions.

Tough Love. Love your mother, but not what she thinks or does that is not supporting her well-being. Just leave that bit alone.

[Vladimir]

On 7/12/2017 at 2:04 PM, AlexB said:

Hey there, I guess the title is pretty self explanatory but I'll go in more depth. 

Basically my mothers husband has alcohol problems and pot problems (he's the first aggressive person I ever saw under the effect of weed)  he is a real ass kisser outside the house, and a total asshole inside, I always had fights with them when I lived with them at the point that they kicked me out the house, of course I was ready for the worst because I was actively on self help stuff. I got back in touch with them after fixing my life outside the house with a job and a house because I thought 'well its my family got to give them another chance.  Now lately my mom cough him cheating and they had pretty bad fights and had constantly called me to pour their misery on me, they had fight so hard at the point that their pitbull got angry and sent them to the hospital. I got to them to take them out and I said OK you guys are over now you have to divorce. I sent her husband at my place and started living with my mom again, after a week they decided to give it another shot, of course they're back fighting and calling me and stressing me out like hell. 

The fact is that I said already that I don't want to know anything about their relationship anymore, her husband understood it and doesn't call me anymore, my mom still calls, the fact is that if I don't help her as her emotional tampon I feel guilty after, if I do help her it fucks up my whole life because I'm constantly thinking of the negative stuff she says. 

I know it's been long to read I tried to be as short as possible, thank you everybody

I'm in a similar place with my parents. My parents are alcoholics and always blaming each other, fighting, creating drama. It got to a point where I just didn't see any value in seeing them anymore so I completely stopped talking and seeing them about three weeks ago. There are several insights I got from meditating on and contemplating my situation 1) By seeing and talking to my parents, I'm not really helping them, I'm only creating misery for myself by allowing myself to be affected by their negativity 2) In between the "breaks" where I stop talking to them, I start guilt tripping myself for not helping them 3) I realized I was blaming my parents for creating misery, negativity and limited beliefs for me, note how it's not my parents that are creating this misery for me, but myself (I am my worst enemy) 4) I will not blame my parents anymore but develop unconditional love and compassion for them 5) I can't guilt trip myself for not seeing them (because I wasn't helping them) and by working on myself and healing myself, that is the best way to help my family and everyone else in the world (we are all literally one).