How Do I Overcome Egoic Reciting I Want To Die While Strong Determination Siting

[Milos Uzelac]

I couldnt sleep yesterday so I decided to do a Strong Determination siting( I didnt set an alarm(big mistake, I had forgotten) but I think I was siting for about an hour and ten minutes by the looks of my clock) I started reciting in my headI want to die in my  and be absorped by life,and had these messiah complex mental images that Im kissing and in love with beatles,bugs,animals and objects also I was thinkig about how Jesus could have embraced all his suffering and still be in love with the world(was neuroticly trying to do the same in my head).So I want to ask in what measure is this egoic,delussional and how do I overcome it (or embrace it) and pass through it as mental distractions in my next longer sit.My goal is  to be able to sit for 2 hours.  

Also this was the first time that when I sat lotus position  my legs were almost immediately "woken up" and that I was waking regulary right after I got up.So I want to ask is this the always case after you sit regulary in this position after some time?

[Leo Gura]

Just keep practicing consistently. Allow the spiritual purification process to happen. If you sit daily, you should see the process working on a weekly basis. Emotionall crap will surface, and then pass away, in cycles.

The key is to not get fed up and quit. Trust the process. Give it time to work. Strong negative emotions means progress. Don't judge your results by how happy you feel. Happiness is a long-term by-product.

[Milos Uzelac]

On 6/26/2017 at 4:20 PM, Leo Gura said:

Just keep practicing consistently. Allow the spiritual purification process to happen. If you sit daily, you should see the process working on a weekly basis. Emotionall crap will surface, and then pass away, in cycles.

The key is to not get fed up and quit. Trust the process. Give it time to work. Strong negative emotions means progress. Don't judge your results by how happy you feel. Happiness is a long-term by-product.

Thanks Leo,will take this advice to heart and practice

[ajasatya]

@Milos Uzelac i am mysteriously feeling very happy for you

[Milos Uzelac]

Just now, ajasatya said:

@Milos Uzelac i am mysteriously feeling very happy for you

I was in a moment at that time(but there wasnt a true lift there was still hidden messy images and talks at the back of my mind),but now im back into regular mind,emotion,image gibberish.Anyways thank you for this,but I think you must be for all people when you are in the flow 

[Seeker_of_truth]

On 6/26/2017 at 7:35 PM, Milos Uzelac said:

Also this was the first time that when I sat lotus position  my legs were almost immediately "woken up" and that I was waking regulary right after I got up.So I want to ask is this the always case after you sit regulary in this position after some time?

What do you mean that your legs were woken up ?? 

[Milos Uzelac]

On utorak, 27. jun 2017. at 7:00 PM, Seeker_of_truth said:

What do you mean that your legs were woken up ??

Blood wasnt running through them,didnt feel my nerves.But when i got up it was like an instant blood flow to them,and I could walk easily(it takes me 10-15 seconds to waćk properly after i get up).I Dont know how else to explain this(really uneducated in terms of biology,medicine),but a lot of these things are subjective,so it sounds absurd.?

[Moreira]

No matter how weird your thoughts flow in a meditation dont react to them, dont get overwhelmed, ignore them all as if they were no big deal.

[Seeker_of_truth]

3 hours ago, Milos Uzelac said:

Blood wasnt running through them,didnt feel my nerves.But when i got up it was like an instant blood flow to them,and I could walk easily(it takes me 10-15 seconds to waćk properly after i get up).I Dont know how else to explain this(really uneducated in terms of biology,medicine),but a lot of these things are subjective,so it sounds absurd.?

One thing is that as you keep sitting regularly, your flexibility will improve. I've read that the numbness when we sit in a cross legged posture is not due to blockage of blood flow but rather some nerves getting compressed and thus not being able to send signals to/from the lower part of the leg and thus we don't feel anything there. What I've noticed is that as my flexibility improved with my sitting posture and if I place my legs in a certain way, there have been times when my legs don't fall asleep. But I've never experienced what you have said that, it was woken up instantly. For me these days it takes about 10s to fully be able to feel them, then for about 60s or more I have to wait for the pins and needles sensation to go, then I can start walking. (Sorry thought I could maybe answer something, but that's all that I know).

Edited June 29, 2017 by Seeker_of_truth

[Milos Uzelac]

8 hours ago, Seeker_of_truth said:

One thing is that as you keep sitting regularly, your flexibility will improve. I've read that the numbness when we sit in a cross legged posture is not due to blockage of blood flow but rather some nerves getting compressed and thus not being able to send signals to/from the lower part of the leg and thus we don't feel anything there. What I've noticed is that as my flexibility improved with my sitting posture and if I place my legs in a certain way, there have been times when my legs don't fall asleep. But I've never experienced what you have said that, it was woken up instantly. For me these days it takes about 10s to fully be able to feel them, then for about 60s or more I have to wait for the pins and needles sensation to go, then I can start walking. (Sorry thought I could maybe answer something, but that's all that I know).

No you posted useful information, Thanks ? good to know about the flexibility(its a neat ability ?)will keep that in mind in my practice.

[Seeker_of_truth]

@Milos Uzelac If you are aiming at improving flexibility, here are a few exercises that help. I generally do this everytime before my cross-legged meditation session as it serves like a warm up and hence makes me able to sit comfortably easily.

 

[Milos Uzelac]

42 minutes ago, Seeker_of_truth said:

@Milos Uzelac If you are aiming at improving flexibility, here are a few exercises that help. I generally do this everytime before my cross-legged meditation session as it serves like a warm up and hence makes me able to sit comfortably easily.

 

Thanks man ?