thetrut11

Multiple Addictions: Time To Clean The Mess

27 posts in this topic

So Im addicted to weed and porn (I can't go a day without doing it). I started smoking weed like 3 years ago, and I started seeing porn like 6 years ago. Im going to stop doing both for 21 days and I think this will give my body and mind a rest from all this excitement that I've gone trough. I think these two actions are affecting my daily performance because both leave me tired and without energy.

My goal with this cleaning is to regain some control over my life and regain my self-esteem.

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@thetrut11 do let me know about your progress I'm struggling with the same issue except I am 8 years addicted...

 

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Addicted to weed as well, can't go a day without it. Just ran out last night... Must ... Resist ... The temptation... To go buy more. 

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I relate, if you start a journal people can help support your journey! :D  Good luck!  I used to be addicted to weed, but quit cold turkey and it has been great.  The first month was hard, but it does get easier.  You can do this!  

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Day # 2 

So far so good.

The thing that i'm dealing the most is my emotional state, i feel pretty irritated like hating everyone and like unwilling to do anything, i think the root of this is that i used to do almost every activity high (going to the gym, playing music, to sleep, etc.) so my body is used to it, i hope everything comes to normality in the next days. Another thing is i feel like a lot of sexual energy and i get aroused by little things.

I'm working with the  Pre-mortem Technique :

 

Basically is consider all the possible failures of your goal and then propose a solution for each one, here is mine:

 

<Weed>

failure reasons:

1) smoking weed in my room. 
2) go out with ppl that smoke weed.
3) write a dealear
4) buying in the street
5) being alone to much time.

6) having more cash than I need.

7) go out with the debit card.
8) being in my room for too much time.
9)  get triggered by some image or video.


Solutions:

1) Throw away all the weed that I have in house.
2) Dont go out with anyone related with weed or even respond their messages.
3) Delete the dealer's number.
4) Go out with the exact ammount of money that I need.
5) Sharing time with other persons.
6) Go out with the exact ammount of money that I need.
7) Leave the debit card in house.
8) Just use my room to sleep.
9) Don't use social media while I'm cleaning myself.


<Porn>

failure reasons:

1) being alone for to much time in my room.
2) get triggered by some image or video.

 

Solutions:

 

1) Just use my room to sleep.

2) Don't use social media while I'm cleaning myself.

 

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@thetrut11 I helped my boyfriend overcome this problem with sex addiction. His was much worse it sounds. 

 

We ended up figuring out that the hardest part about recovering for him was the moments he was alone and bored. After a while he ended up doing a lot of reading and researching when the cravings were at their worst. He would come home with a lot of "did you know" facts. This helped him distract his mind and also he was researching the pain the sex industry can cause women and young girls. This really helped him get a different perspective on his prior limited view of what used to turn him on. Now he doesn't see the sex industry as the same so it doesn't trigger him the same. 

 

I hope you find what you are seeking :)

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On 2017-6-20 at 6:21 PM, S33K3R said:

We ended up figuring out that the hardest part about recovering for him was the moments he was alone and bored.

That's right! when I'm fully on some specific activity i just forget about it, but when I'm doing nothing is when all the thoughts and feelings related with weed and porn start to come to my head and body.

---

Day #3:

With weed all good, but i relapsed with porn. I'm having troubles to manage both at time so i have decided to first clean my body from weed and then go with it with porn, i'm just going to hold masturbation as long as i can but right now i don't care relapsing with porn, all my focus is in weed.

I have identified the times during the day that cravings are worst: these are when i wake up, after gym and after eating at mid day. However i have realized that the cravings are more psychological than physical, is like my mind saying and putting pictures of me going to buy or smoke weed, or a lot of sexual images, etc.. the cravings tend to last like 30-60 mins, after that i get to a normal state. I'm learning to accept the thoughts and feelings (not to fight or resist it) and be as present in the moment as i can.

I started to read the book "ALLEN CARR'S EASY WAY TO STOP SMOKING" it talks about quitting cigarettes addiction but you can apply the concepts either way. It has given me a different perspective of my condition and why i really continued smoking.

---

I've been remembering why in the first place i started smoking weed.. and i comes to my days at school where i started to smoke cigarettes and alcohol JUST like to please other people and to be accepted in a social group and fill voids of my childhood (i had back then low self-esteem and depression issues), later on i tried weed and i liked it,  so i started to do it more and more frequently and i dropped alcohol and cigarettes. I'm not against smoking weed because i think is a powerful tool for self-grow, it has opened my mind to ideas an people that i wouldn't have considered or accepted before. When I smoke i get like this insights of my life situations and also about life in general that had led me to comprehend everything from a total different perspective, the thing i'm not cool with right now is smoking every day of the week (it just makes me lazy and doesn't allow me to achieve the things that i want in my life).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Day #5:

No weed, no porn. All good. I've been feeling better these days although i takes me some effort to fall sleep. Today i craved a lot the weed, meditation helped tho. Tomorrow i'll go to a retreat for 3 days, i  think it will help me to clear my mind a lot.

See ya!

 

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#Day 8:

So i decided to fast these three days and i think it helped me to gain more control over my self. I've been feeling some anxiety but nothing out of order. I'm considering to start changing my diet to a vegetarian one, i've been reading about the benefits and it sounds interesting.

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Hey! Good to see things are going good! A vegetarian diet can really help balance yourself a lot! If not that at least try cutting processed foods and sugar. Sugar always throws me off a bit. Keep it up :D

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#Day 10:

Today i masturbated but just with imagination, tbh it was difficult to make a picture in my head, i think im used to get excited just by porn. With weed all good, im getting used to the little voice in my head.

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I was addicted to injecting speedballs (coke/crack and heroin) and meth and benzos since 15. Haven't used in a few months. 

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18 hours ago, Russell said:

I was addicted to injecting speedballs (coke/crack and heroin) and meth and benzos since 15. Haven't used in a few months. 

that's pretty cool bro! My respects for you, keep it up, is for a greater good.

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Day #13:

Everything good, today i felt pretty down emotionally but i think is the normal process.. i hope to feel better nexts days.

@Russell no im not, i have a question for you, what do you do normally to control your emotional state? thanks

 

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@thetrut11 Start repeating the thoughts of how you want things to be. Start now. Write it down. Repeat it over and over. Ignore reality. Focus on what you want.

Like a happy feeling brings a smile, a smile brings a happy feeling.

So is it wth reality. You've just been using it one way. Full reverse now! 

Think it, feel it, focus on it, and you will see it right in front of you. Takes time. 

Don't believe me.

 


MEDITATIONS TOOLS  ActualityOfBeing.com  GUIDANCE SESSIONS

NONDUALITY LOA  My Youtube Channel  THE TRUE NATURE

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@thetrut11 I try not to control it at all. It becomes harder. I simply observe, return to my breathe, and accept that the emotion is there. I try not to judge it nor change the emotion. I simply become a spectator and allow it to process through my central nervous system. I surrender control

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