Can't Shake This Feeling Of Inferiority

[kieranperez]

All,

So I want to start this off by saying that I know what I'm going to say is all limiting beliefs and I know don't make sense. At least at a conscious level. Like, I know when I look in the mirror I'm a fucking good looking guy that shouldn't feel as insecure as I do. Like, I have a 6-pack it takes one day to carve out after not working out for 5 months, have the most freakish metabolism where I cannot, no matter how hard I would try I can't gain weight (I don't really, but if I felt like it that is), I have the body of an athlete, have run sub 4:10 for a mile so I have a lot of athletic ability I shouldn't feel insecure about, I'm 6', and am even 10"... you know what I'm referring to. I DON'T SAY THIS TO BRAG. I SAY THIS BECAUSE DESPITE ALL OF THIS I'M STILL MISERABLE WITH MYSELF. I just did a post titled "Filled w/Trauma & Hate" on the emotional section of the forum that explains a lot of this. 

I'm just so stuck because I know I shouldn't feel like this. I know how I have so much to offer emotionally and genuinely and have nothing to feel insecure about physically. In yet, let's say I'm driving and I'm at a stop sign and I see a really cute girl or a group of cute girls. I'll look at her/them and regardless of whether or not they even acknowledge me, I immediately find myself looking back down, biting my nails, spitting, doing some sort of bad habit in addition to lowering my head and hunching my back because I just feel so inferior inside. I try to do the whole Tony Robbins philosophy of just change my posture and the emotional shift will follow but it just feels fake. I can't shake this thing that's all in my head. 

I know a big problem I developed early on in my teenage years was to be the guy who sometimes tries to get a girl's attention by having a problem or something. 

Regardless of that maybe still being the issue, I just don't know how to get this to go away and I can just be myself. Even though a big part of how I see myself is someone that's just really frustrated with life and just depressed... I would even try the method (for weeks on end) technique Leo had a video on, "Awareness Alone is Curative," but I just find myself getting more depressed the more aware I am of the problem because I see how irrational it is but I feel even worse because it still isn't subsiding. 

[Visitor]

Sounds like you have some deeply entrenched beliefs of self-shaming. That is, beliefs that keep you believing that your are a mistake of some sort. This type of stuff usually happens from childhood. It is a common time in life where fears stops a person from correcting certain repeated mistakes in their life, and end up believing they are a mistake.

If this strikes a cord with you, then perhaps look for ways (Internet research) on how to overcome self-shaming.

[SFRL]

18 hours ago, kieranperez said:

All,

So I want to start this off by saying that I know what I'm going to say is all limiting beliefs and I know don't make sense. At least at a conscious level. Like, I know when I look in the mirror I'm a fucking good looking guy that shouldn't feel as insecure as I do. Like, I have a 6-pack it takes one day to carve out after not working out for 5 months, have the most freakish metabolism where I cannot, no matter how hard I would try I can't gain weight (I don't really, but if I felt like it that is), I have the body of an athlete, have run sub 4:10 for a mile so I have a lot of athletic ability I shouldn't feel insecure about, I'm 6', and am even 10"... you know what I'm referring to. I DON'T SAY THIS TO BRAG. I SAY THIS BECAUSE DESPITE ALL OF THIS I'M STILL MISERABLE WITH MYSELF. I just did a post titled "Filled w/Trauma & Hate" on the emotional section of the forum that explains a lot of this. 

I'm just so stuck because I know I shouldn't feel like this. I know how I have so much to offer emotionally and genuinely and have nothing to feel insecure about physically. In yet, let's say I'm driving and I'm at a stop sign and I see a really cute girl or a group of cute girls. I'll look at her/them and regardless of whether or not they even acknowledge me, I immediately find myself looking back down, biting my nails, spitting, doing some sort of bad habit in addition to lowering my head and hunching my back because I just feel so inferior inside. I try to do the whole Tony Robbins philosophy of just change my posture and the emotional shift will follow but it just feels fake. I can't shake this thing that's all in my head. 

I know a big problem I developed early on in my teenage years was to be the guy who sometimes tries to get a girl's attention by having a problem or something. 

Regardless of that maybe still being the issue, I just don't know how to get this to go away and I can just be myself. Even though a big part of how I see myself is someone that's just really frustrated with life and just depressed... I would even try the method (for weeks on end) technique Leo had a video on, "Awareness Alone is Curative," but I just find myself getting more depressed the more aware I am of the problem because I see how irrational it is but I feel even worse because it still isn't subsiding. 

You say yourself that you have a lot of "ability". But are you doing anything to honor that ability? Are you cultivating your ability? 

If you really have all that ability then try to be a model, or a bodybuilder, or ace some athletic activity. 

The progress of putting in the work and what needs to be done day in day out will build integrity within you. Then you can be proud of yourself because you are proving to yourself that you do what you say you are about. 

[heisenburger]

@kieranperez

I had the same problem! 

it sounds like you are nervous. This normally comes from expecting something to happen, what images do you have? Maybe you see yourself stumbling no over words or saying a joke and having laughter or having the girl dissaprove of you, maybe you're just scared of the feeling of fear or of being uncomfortable. Maybe you're worried about being scared and losing your thoughts or running out of things to say.

 

Try this to release fears, this video can completely release your fears so you feel as comfortable talking to girls as you would be talking to your mother or a close friend. I know because I used it on myself.

 

If the video doesn't work just do the fear video again but do it on the memeory of this not working and it will solve itself.

If you don't think it's fear that's stopping you reply and We can try help you find the reason why you are stuck.

Edited June 16, 2017 by heisenburger

[HikiNEET]

Stop trying to compensate. Stop comparing. You already are perfect. Stop feeling guilty.

These are habits, just be aware of your thoughts and emotions, then feel the opposite.

Edited June 16, 2017 by HikiNEET

[sweater]

@kieranperez I heard someone (RSD Tyler) and others say that its sometimes the most beautiful people that feel the most insecure cause its like they are (by society) held to high standards.