The feeling of gore

[Carl-Richard]

When I was helping my mom and stepdad move houses (my mom sold my childhood home), we were picking up some final things and we saw they were already starting some renovations (we knew they had planned a lot).

And me and my stepdad saw some workers demolishing the wooden fence by the terrace (which my dad had built 20 or so years ago). My stepdad said "remember all the work we spent painting that? Heh". Meanwhile I was left with a distinct feeling like I was watching gore.

And that got me thinking: maybe the feeling of gore comes when you see something very familiar to you (like a human body part, or a familiar belonging) get disfigured or demolished. It doesn't matter that it's biological or merely material. It's the feeling of being robbed or seeing the transformation of familiarity to such a severe degree that you're revolted deep to the core.

I think the best example of gore that demonstrates this (which is the most terrifying, terrorizing, horror-inducing movie scene I've ever experienced, from the movie Annihilation) is *spoiler alert* the bear. The absolutely disturbing and heartbreaking female screams of distress ("heeelp!") being conjoined with bear growls (which for me was the absolute worst part, something I would've never suspected), the mutation and disfigurement of conjoining a female body/soul with a bear's body, is the haunting experience of seeing something familiar morph into a monstrosity. (I'm not describing a bear attack by the way; I'm describing the aftermath ☹️).

Edited 8 hours ago by Carl-Richard

[Cred]

I have developed an ontology off hell, which is alienation, which is a super set of what you mean when you say "gore".

I made an extensive post about it here:

Here's my interpretation of your post: when you say "gore", what you seem to mean is the superset of what I call "the maw" and "the abyss".

My interpretation of the first example, is that you have established a relationship with the fences, which has created an existence space between you two (also, the fences are part of the existence space you span with your stepdad). When the fences are destroyed, this space that is a part of you disintegrates, and turns into the abyss. Since there is no existence, and therefore no self beyond the existence space, the feeling that you describe is the feeling of self-disintegration, more broadly, self–alienation.

this is also the feeling you have after a break up, for example. More broadly, when you fell abandoned.

The second example is an entirely different phenomenon that also leads to self-alienation, which is why you saw the connection. In my model of horror, involuntary fusion,with another being or disfigurement, is horror and alienation through the collapse of boundaries. When you become one with another being, the existence space that you were spanning is collapsing, which is also a kind of loss of self, but an entirely different mechanism behind the abyss. The metaphor that I'm using is "the devouring", which is the maw.

In a relationship, this can happen, either when you are too obsessed with one another, or they are traumatized from past alienations, which leads to them to seek unity and cling obsessively.

Edited 7 hours ago by Cred

[Hojo]

@CredI actually entered this space in my own reality. It was like 0 dimensions and I was stuck there for months. I feel completely abandoned by everyone and God. Its like a realm you can go to. It felt like this in a void of nothing.

When your entire identity is abandoned by everyone and you and God you go to a realm where its like that. I was abandoned by my family and I havea  gf and I became clingy after like 7 years and then we break up and get back together like 15 - 20 times and I was totally mentally fucked. Then I drank a bunch of alcohol and found myself in the realm or maw or abyss.

Its like you are in a void of nothing. Then wake up in the void of nothing and act like that bear then you tire yourself out after how ever long then you just black out as the void of nothing. Then you wake up and act like that bear again repeated over and over and over and over. Until you eventually do it less and less. Then you wake up in the void of nothing and dont react like that. Then waking in the void and blacking out in the void become the same state and you are just a void forever.

Entering this space was a key part on seeing God for me.

After I was totally a void of nothing for a long time, I took my hands off my eyes and I saw a stream of souls and they were all around me with their hands covering their eyes screaming. I was totally null at that point and I was looking around, there was a water wheel and the souls were going around a giant skeleton bull up onto a waterwheel. The skeleton bull picked me up and threw me up. I only assume the skeleton bull saw I was not screaming anymore and noticed and threw me up. 

I knew totally nothing and could have spawned into anything but I woke up in my own body the next day and was totally fine.

The 1st time I ate shrooms there was a disembodied voice that reminded me of what had happened 8 years prior and told me I had died and it asked me how can you know that you were dead( or remember an experience of being dead)? And I realized I cannot die because I have a memory of being dead. Then the voice asked me what I was and I said I am God and I have a kundalini and became the universe.

Edited 3 hours ago by Hojo