Questioning My Life Purpose?

[Electron]

I am a 21-year-old guy and I don't know much of science and math but I am willing to go this road and sacrifice my next 10 years honing these skills. and become a physicist. I have not known to be good at these subjects in the past as I never really studied them seriously. I used to suck at math at school and I have had a very poor education.  I never read a book in school. Studying repelled me and I still face past fears when I try to study a topic I was afraid of back then.  I am trying to master the basics of these subjects currently. Things that they taught way back in early school years. 

What I often wonder though that is it a bad strategy? Should I rather spend my time mastering something that I am already a bit good at? Because I really don't know much of science and math and given the age factor, it sometimes makes me doubt my path. I had to overcome a lot of emotional blocks because I never really saw myself as a book person.  The age factor makes stuff unmanageable. I just started and I don't even remember the math they taught at school and I am currently in college where they teach advanced calculus. You can imagine the dilemma I face. Every time I see those calculus books I am reminded of how bad I am at this. It makes things harder for me.  I like solving problems and the kick one gets from it but the constant reminder of my inferiority makes me wonder whether I have come the right way. 

[Ritu]

hey buddy , just don't worry and keep calm!

it is very natural to feel like this because as you told above that you have never taken these subjects seriously but you want to take it serious now ,so

your fear is natural , you must be thinking "what if i would fail? " , i also feel the same (or i should say mostly people feel the same) ,

i tell you about myself , i am graduate in Maths(Hons) , although i was little good at Maths till my +2  and on that behalf i decided to take Maths further but when my semester started it was 75% different what i have studied before and there were 3 or 4 subjects(within maths) that completely used to go over my head , my condition was similar to you to some extent, i can say. i was depressed even i din't tell my family ( because i had chosen that) , my performance was very low, then i decided to do something because i could not see myself like this, i started form the base ,i wanna tell you what you can do for your better command on the subject ;

1) regularly attended my all lectures ( because that is quite important specially in maths and science)

2)revise everyday work when i come back to home

3)read notes which were given by my teacher and also from books because it is not necessary that teacher would tell you all in the class so you have to work on your own also

4) revision weekly(must) , write formulas on a sheet and paste it in your room where you study by this you would see them at least 3 or 4 times in a day it will help you.

5) give test regularly (if you do not get good marks , don't worry ,nobody gets perfect in few attempts) 

6) do not compare with others , grow bit by bit  

gradually you will develop a confidence in you ,and the day will come when you will be a master of it.

i also tried the same strategy and got good marks(highest marks)  and gradually i started liking those subjects .

there is nothing in this world which we can not do , you can master in maths also and in other areas also but it is up to you to decide .

these steps i hope will help you and if still you are confused about what you have chosen , take a day only for you, talk to yourself and decide which subject attracts you more or which kind of work you wanna do in your future ,work according to that.

wish you all the best  

ohh i forgot one step to tell you ,read some basic books related to your syllabus , this would make a better base so the foundation would be good .

[JKG]

If you are passionate about the subject then pursue it. Your life is long, very long. You will have multiple decades left to master this stuff. Not knowing the basics of maths and physics is not bad. You will have a lot of time and if you work hard enough you will be able to master the basics in a few months or even a few years. But still then there are many many years left to work on the advanced stuff.

[Dan Arnautu]

3 hours ago, Electron said:

 I am willing to go this road and sacrifice my next 10 years honing these skills.

Before you do anything, take even one year or two to really figure out if that is what you really want to do for the rest of your life. One of the greatest regrets you can have in life is the regret that you became a master at the wrong things.

Also, try to distinguish your affinity for the subject with your actual abilities. If you aren't naturally gifted with numbers, don't go that route. You can only build on strength, not on weakness - and it's much easier to make the transition from great to exceptional than from mediocre to average.

I'm not trying to talk you out of it. Not at all. I encourage you to pursue that path if you can become one of the best in that field. But if not, look elsewhere.

Other good questions to ask are: Does it match the lifestyle you want to have? Can you make it match with the lifestyle you wanna have?

[Electron]

@Dan Arnautu But How Can I predict right now whether I can be among the best? Right now I am even less than average. There is nothing in me right now that I can point towards as an indicator of this much success in this field. I don't know whether I can be among the best. But I am willing to try. And my willingness is all I got. I don't have any past accolades to tell me that. 

@JKG Thank You Mate. It helped. 

@Ritu Thanks. I appreciate that. 

[Guest username]

@Electron Long time, no see.

You're not tapping into authentic motivations.  It's important to play to your strengths, but honestly, it's tough to gauge how good you'll be unless you've practiced a lot. The most important factor is your actual willingness. 

Are you just doing math to feel like you're a smart guy or do you actually truly enjoy the subject and see yourself doing it for the rest of your life, even if you don't get the esteem of being elite?

I used to have a lot of ego and self-image attached to it. I'd beat myself up over getting 99%s on my calculus exams, and I drained the energy out of professors that had to manage my ego. So I dropped for a year and worked on myself.

This is why inner work is so important. We've talked before and you said you're taking it easy on personal development so you can just focus on your studies, and sorry to put you on the spot, but I'm going to hold you accountable for your plans instead of pussyfooting around.

1) Did you actually follow through, or did you end up slacking off with both personal development and your studies?

2) Are you serious about this, or you just all talk? Have you been taking action? Why or why not?

3)  What are your best subjects or alternatives to your current route? Any plans? Why do you think those are your strengths? If you haven't studied seriously, then the skill gap may just come from lack of consistent practice with good methods rather than some discrepancy in your natural aptitude. 

[Guest username]

@Electron Long time, no see.

You're not tapping into authentic motivations.  It's important to play to your strengths, but honestly, it's tough to gauge how good you'll be unless you've practiced a lot. The most important factor is your actual willingness. 

Are you just doing math to feel like you're a smart guy or do you actually truly enjoy the subject and see yourself doing it for the rest of your life, even if you don't get the esteem of being elite?

I used to have a lot of ego and self-image attached to it. I'd beat myself up over getting 99%s on my calculus exams, and I drained the energy out of professors that had to manage my ego. So I dropped for a year and worked on myself.

This is why inner work is so important. We've talked before and you said you're taking it easy on personal development so you can just focus on your studies, and sorry to put you on the spot, but I'm going to hold you accountable for your plans instead of pussyfooting around.

1) Did you actually follow through, or did you end up slacking off with both personal development and your studies?

2) Are you serious about this, or you just all talk? Have you been taking action? Why or why not?

3)  What are your best subjects or alternatives to your current route? Any plans? Why do you think those are your strengths? If you haven't studied seriously, then the skill gap may just come from lack of consistent practice with good methods rather than some discrepancy in your natural aptitude. 

[Dan Arnautu]

@Electron I didn't say you can't try. Just don't commit for 10 years yet. Run experiments. Make an 18 month goal and compare the goal with the actual results you will have generated. 

Through that experiment observe things like:

• the level of effortlesness in doing the actual thing
• the amount of joy the activity brings you
• if you have peers on the same path, compare your progress to theirs in order to detect a natural talent at it (the opposite can also be the case) 
• how inspired you are on a day to day basis pursuing that
• willingness to push past hurdles

One thing you can do right now is to create a vision with you at the TOP. Like really at the top of the field, receiving whatever prize is worth having in that field or making a breakthrough discovery. If that vision doesn't make you cry or at least tear up a little, either the vision is not big enough or it's not what you really want.

When I picture myself on one of the biggest stages in the world, exuding god like power through a musical instrument, seeing everybody there celebrating the beauty of music. existence, and the way people can relate on an unspoken level through music, I can't help but tear up, every goddamn time. 

Create a very vivid picture of where you want to get, and get in touch with that.