Satori Flow

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https://youtu.be/i288Lnb7NOk?si=wzIclYlqttvd5ioK 
 
coming back to this vid years later feels like I see it anew. 
 

I do need to meditate more, but I think going full blast is also not right. Balancing act - 3-5 hours of meditation and 3-4 hours of pleasures is oky doky I think. 
 

Brahmacharya is one path and it might work.  
 

Kundalini Yoga is a part of Brahmacharya I believe. 
 

But I’m most attracted to the Buddhist way of going about things. The middle way - meditate, contemplate, also live a normal life. If that’s what’s even meant by the middle way.  
 

Shinzen and Frank clarified alot about how the point is really to dissolve the meditator, either by concentration or do-nothing meditation.  
 

I was always practicing mindfulness these days and I think I did fall i to the observer trap. It’s a nice place to be, I think it develops concentration even though it’s concentration on consciousness.  
 

I began to do do-nothing meditation and alot of releasing is happening. Actually felt energised this morning after yesterday night’s do-nothing meditation. Frank Yang is right, do nothing energizes, revitalizes you.

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Interesting. I think I was resistant to the idea that I don't have a separate existence. Why? Because I wanted it. I wanted to be a separate individual entity. I don't even know why. I just wanted to be an individual. I think because then I'm special. That's probably what Ken Wapnick says when he talks about specialness and individuality. How we don't want to give it up. And that's what we need to give up for enlightenment. Not the things of the world, but this specialness, this individuality. Interesting. I clearly see the resistance now. Why I don't want to accept non-duality? Because it means there's no me. There's just this. This happening. But I think the issue with being an individual is that you feel lonely, separated, and you suffer in life. And when you surrender to this happening, I think life should become easier. If you would just dissolve into the flow, everything would be tranquil. So I think this is one side, the intellectual understanding. And the other side is actually dissolving this density behind my eyes and in my body until I completely merge with the bigger thing.

 

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I heard Shinzen Young say that one of his teachers said, Today's enlightenment is tomorrow's mistake. Be careful. And that's so true. A few days ago I thought that everyone is wrong, like Lisa, I don't know, Peter, Shinzen, other non-duality teachers who say that there is no free will, and now I think all of them are right, and I was wrong.

I do now think that you can come to the same non dual realization via different roads. ACIM is pointing there with poetic language, others vis meditation, others kundalini, etc.

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Hm so Frank Yang calls Unity/Oneness/Non-duality as Love. 

When I heard Peter Ralston talk about Love he was implying the same thing I believe.

In A Course in Miracles Jesus says that Heaven is the awareness of perfect Oneness.

I guess that's true if Love is Unity/Oneness. Isn't love that fundamentally? When you hug or have sex what do you do? You unite into one. 
 

And the opposite of that is fighting someone, pushing them away - seperating from them, so the opposite of love. 

But these things are on the relative level and bodies can't really fully unite or seperate, but on the metaphysical level you can unite perfectly with Self, the issue is that you have to dissolve. And how? I think I'll try do nothing meditation now mainly. Concentration practice is helpful too I guess, but I do taht in the form of mindfulness. 

Pamparammm. 
 

 

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Hm this journal is good as a therapy, self-reflective device to see my neurosis, etc.  

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During my trips, I did realize that to really feel liberated, I will have to somehow dissolve the solidity in the body. It's the biggest block to feeling liberated. It feels like you're a contracted center in this boundless existence. So that's why I love Frank Yang's teaching. He's literally telling you how to dissolve this contraction. And it's the whole issue, this contraction.

 

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need 2 make a habit of cold showers. sooo helpful for the body and the mind. 

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Iuuuuuu wow the best way to enjoy life is to get lost in the flow of it so deeply that you loose your sense of self and your are so one with it all that its just baaaaaaaaaaammmm!!!

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Dancing shows so much. When dancing there has to be no self awareness. There just has to be music and dance, no self in there to be aware, when there’s a self it’s like an inrerference pattern that ruins everythinggg

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Practicing 3 techniques now:

1. Do-nothing - just no intention at all. When I notice an intention I drop that intention. 

2. Mindfulness/Concentration - focusing on an object of meditation - either consciousness itself, or music, or the body or whatever.

3. Release/Let go - having the intention of releaaaaseee. Let goooo. 

When I fully relax I notice hooow fuuuucking rigit and dense and contracted I am. I think if I fuuully release this contrection that feels like ME then I will dissolve into non-duality and be happy. This contraction is kinda horrible to live with, it's usually in the background, but it's the core of the issue, so I feel like the do-nothing technique and the release-let go techniques dissolve the contraction. Maybe concentration is practice is helping this process as well. This is the core of my practice now. Not sure if I need more concepts, and if I do, I just need to perfect the technique of how to dissolve this contraction that is egoic self aka me aka contraction aka seperate self. 

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"Just by putting your attention on sensation/solidity dissolves it in time" That's how Vipassana works from how I understand it now. 

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Now there's alot of not so sublte sensations and the body moves quite alot when I scan and put attention on the solidity, but that's just solidity dissolving biproduct. Mystical experiences can even occur from dissolution according to mr papa Yang Franky

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Hm Keith said the main practice of ACIM is to shine the light of awareness on whatever arises to dissolve it.

That's the same as vipassana or very close. Not sure if Keith knows that we need to dissolve not only thoughts and emotions that arise but also the body itself. But anyway, if he's right than the main practice is similar if not the same. 

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Frank said ego is like the commentator on the path, claiming attainments, rareifying experiences, etc. That's literally me. Ups. Ready to die. 

Anyway..

Had one of the best dreams and worst dreams ever tonight. I think that's a sign of meditation working. 

Best dream was so good since I met an amazing girl and we were having fuuun   

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I thought I still had to disolve density in the body, like it exists independently of the self.

When I drop the self there is no contraction. 

The more I tried to disolve the contraction the more contraction there was. It was a closed loop. the nature of reality is nothing. this appearance, this happening doesnt arise from nothing, it just arises. It doesnt even arise, it's just a happening, a shifting and morfing infinity. 

Frank's map is perfect and he explained it so well. I think I'm almost done or done, I feel at the natural state now. No seperation, no self, no god-consciousness, no I-amness. It's so simple in the end wow. 

I thought it will be more glorious tbh. I will have a sesion with Frank to confirm if I'm done. 

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Got an interesting meeting tomorrow, will see how it goes from this state of max efortlesness, path of least resistance. It feels so normal and natural. Might be attractive to others. No pretenciousness, no I am-ness even, no spiritual identity, just natural no effort flow. 

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This insight removes most of the judgement from the mind. Some still arises as a habit, but it’s immediately dropped since it’s seen as just untrue, incorrect thing to do.

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Path of least resistance seems like the best path.

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I-amness vs no-self 

 

https://youtube.com/shorts/LfQL-dagC1E?si=UKwCN5Xq_fxPNmAM 

 

So what does cessation reveal? That the nature of reality is nothing. A very special nothing, but nothing, no form, no self, nothing.  
 

And what’s happening here is just what’s happening. A mysterious suchness.  
 

The illusion that has to dissolve is that there’s a self in the middle managing the suchness.  
 

Really the self is just an interference pattern, a contraction. 
 

Then, after dissolution of the self, just efortless flow.