Satori Flow

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Mom: pizza is ready 

Me from my room to kitchen:

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Interesting that it’s impossible for the mind to think of Heaven. I can recall an experience of Heaven, but I can’t create that in my mind. 
 
This mind can’t think of abstract creations of light. 
 

The highest, most amazing thoughts I can think are just very fun storylines involving the world of form.  
 

When I experience Heaven it’s always me being in an observer role and God being the creator of Heaven.  
 

I was wondering if it will be possible for me to re-live my life and just anything I want having the power of creation. I created this universe, so why couldn’t I recreate it without guilt, just a fun experience full of joy and love? 
 
But not sure. Would be cool, but not sure.  
 
First thing I would create would probably be something like the harem in circles hentai. Then maybe a life of royalty or something. Not even sure if there’s much fun to be had here. Maybe like 10 years if I can have and be anything, or a hundread, shouldnt matter at that point. 
 

Although Jesus or Apostles doesnt say anything about being able to recreate the world of form. In my experience it was also straight from this illusion to formless heaven of light, there was no place inbetween where I had the power to recreate. But the fact I didnt have that opportunity does t mean its impossible. Anyway, Heaven of light is better than anything I could think up with storylines anyway. Heaven is the ultimate harem, more fun than even any hentai. Its the ultimate endless orgasm. Cool cool

 

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Hmm, so I can’t deny that Jesus does say that atonement is escape from concepts, lack of interest in future and past, that Self is beyond symbols, he also says go beyond all concepts, be still. David also teaches that it’s all about emptying the mind and in Gary’s summary pdf he also says that it’s about emptying the mind. 
 

But atonement is also the realization of Oneness. It’s also forgiveness - seeing everyone as Spirit. but forgiveness is also still and does nothing, simply does not judge.

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uuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Lisa is beeeest! 

Lord when you send me a partner please make sure she is something like this, you know what I mean. 

Edited June 20 by CoolDreamThanks

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Interesting, in the send Lisa talks about a Sufi who only stay at one place a day and then move on, he was looking for someone to reflect that emptiness, that trueness and found Rumi. That's how it feels like for me, that's the main desire I have here, although I'm not gonna travel and I hope it will just happen. And I also won't really accept if it's a man, not interested in a man as a reflection. 

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https://www.anandamayi.org/books/Matrivani.htm

 

might resonate with this more than ACIM tbh... just less heady. simply, silent. devotion.

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Yeh, I think it's enough of ACIM - it's too intellectual and complex. I'm grateful for learning some of the metaphysical nuances that I haven't witnessed elsewhere, but I feel like now I'm spending more time in the conceptual realm which is hurting me instead of helping.

I'll pivot to someone who teaches in a short and clear manner - Anandamayi Ma. 

Also, I feel like looking at faces can tell a lot about a person. So Gary Renard and his wife Cindy just seem like frauds, I mean from their faces. And when I watch their interviews I have a bad vibe about Gary and Cindy, like they are wearing a smile, or not even, and are not really peaceful and in bliss. I can reach deeper states of peace when I simply practice presence. I think their method of using thoughts works to improve the mood, since thoughts create feelings, but that's pretty much it, they aren't improving beyond that. 

Just like Carol Howe is a very intense old lady without true Peace within her.

It's good to learn from everyone, to test things out, and whilst that thought system of thinking holly thoughts about others helps to improve how you feel, it doesn't really take me beyond that. I had one mystical experience from that method, but only one and then that stopped. I had deeper experiences by just practicing presence. Also Gary says you don't have to give up the world.. Ehh, are u sure? JEsus says a teacher of God isn't sorry to let go of pleasures of the world. Ananda Ma also says you need to deepen and deepen your devotion to God to awaken. Less involvement in the world more Silence.

So yeah.. Anyway, ACIM is nice, but also not nice in other aspects. Much more prefer to just practice Silence, slowly let go of the world, fall deeper and deeper into Devotion and dissolve into God throughout this life. I actually think this is what Jesus is teaching. It's not about sacrifice, but not about not sacrifice either. Dont do it seriously, with guilt, but also do have the intention to devote yourself to God and to let go of this world decade by decade more and more. 

 

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At least you have understood that there is a state where problems are no longer settled in any particular way. In the course of your life you have after careful consideration come to a decision on many questions, have you not? But now you will have to realize that no solution is ever conclusive; in other words, you will have to go beyond the level where there is certainty and uncertainty. The resolution of a problem arrived at by the mind must of necessity be from a particular point of view; consequently there will be room for contradiction, since your solution represents but one aspect. What then have you actually solved? You will find a complete and final solution of each particular question from its own particular angle of emergence; and you will also find that there is a place where all problems (actual and possible) have but one universal solution, in which there is no longer any room left for contradiction. The question of solution or non-solution will then cease to arise: whether one says 'yes' or 'no' - everything is INFINITY."
 ~ Anandamayi Ma

So important and beautiful. Go beyond concepts, beyond metaphysics to a place of truth. Conceptual knowledge will never be complete and ultimately  true. 

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The concept of the self has always been the great preoccupation of the world. ²And everyone believes that he must find the answer to the riddle of himself. ³Salvation can be seen as nothing more than the escape from concepts. ⁴It does not concern itself with content of the mind, but with the simple statement that it thinks. ⁵And what can think has choice, and can be shown that different thoughts have different consequence. ⁶So it can learn that everything it thinks reflects the deep confusion that it feels about how it was made and what it is. ⁷And vaguely does the concept of the self appear to answer what it does not know.

15. Seek not your Self in symbols. ²There can be no concept that can stand for what you are. ³What matters it which concept you accept while you perceive a self that interacts with evil, and reacts to wicked things? ⁴Your concept of yourself will still remain quite meaningless. ⁵And you will not perceive that you can interact but with yourself.

(ACIM, T-31.V.14:1–15:5)

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Current POV:

Life is a dream.

God is Love

Me and God are One.

There's a helping hand in this dream that is leading me to awakening.

Suffering generally shows that I am out of alignment with awakening path. If I act wisely, don't chase fame, girls, do stupid shit in general, and just work my office job, keep improving spiritually - all is well, God is taking care of me.

Desires of the world - drop them gradually by seeing that they are hurting me. Also another motivation to drop is that the deeper the devotion to God the deeper the revalation. Don't struggle or fight against myself, that just makes guilt real and strengthens resistance, but do have an intention to let it all go and surrender to God fully and awaken.

The practice for awakening is Silence.

Judge not, but have good discernment. People here are psycho, be alone. Most if not all advanced spiritual people like to be alone, that's just wisdom.

Chase not girls. Never found anyone good enough for me, except my ex, with which my relationship was pre-arranged. As mooji says, if ur looking for a princess u will kiss a lot of frogs.

Food, exercise, health - just be mindful, doing fine now.

Clothing - simple, comfy, still stylish is good. Simplicity is beautiful. Love linen. 

In terms of metaphysics - still ok to read a bit of ACIM, like those important exceprts, but I get it mostly. WIll read Ananda Ma's book now. Not much reading left to be done, mostly just practice.

Thought about getting a cat - when I have one it helps me become more silent, so helps to awaken, kinda cool. Love cats in general too. Not gonna have a partner so at least got a cat, but on hold because of financial things.

Travel - don't really care.

Drugs - weed and microdosing shrooms is okay, like Lisa does, although for me it spirals out of control so I'm on a break now. Might do them later, I think they can help when I'm sick, especially weed can help with pain when got a cold or smthng. 

Not discussing metaphysics with anyone, most are retarded anyway, better to be alone and contemplate with books. 

Still gaming, listening to music, enjoying entertainment, but got an intention to reduce it throughout my lifetime to 0, so at the end of the lifetime I am totally with God. I know this is the way, tried it already, I have time. Just gently and slowly awaken.

Dancing for exercise is good, no more basketball or volleyball because of the knee issue. No more gym because of that too. Just some pushups and pullups here and there, yoga and dancing to move the body. Massages when got cash. 

Career seems to be going chill and blessed because I am doing my responsibility quite well and it's a path arranged to aid in my awakening, I'm the blessed son of god so I am taken care of as long as I'm responsible and don't do anything drastic like leave job or family or whtvr. Did go crazy for a bit but also whtvr, that's life. When making big decisions best to follow feelings and intuition, silence.

 

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It's okay to be annoyed whilst being around insane people, that's just natural.  When they leave I just think feel-good thoughts to change my brain chemistry back to positive feeling one and then I can drop those thoughts and just be in presence. It's much easier to be in Presence whilst feeling good first. Feeling bad and entering presence doesn't really change how I feel. First I need to change how I feel through thinking good thoughts and the enter presence. 

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Read 40 rules of love the 40 rules and loved them. Rumi says every evil act comes back and even every gossip and judgement does and bites you as well. That's important I, I still judge daily. It's difficult not to when that person is literally that. Although is it bad to evaluate someone as what they are and just drop it? Gossiping is definitely a nono, but seeing someone as insane to protect yourself is fine perhaps? If you see them as divine and perfect and they do bad things to you then you don't have a psychological defense, you might think that it's about you, that you deserve it. But when you see that they are acting the way they are because of who they are, it's nothing to do with me, then that brings peace to my mind. Hm, I would say that just seeing them as what they are - an unconscious program of the world, without any Divinity inside, is good in this respect, it helps psychologically to know it's not me, not even a mirror, I am completely the opposite to that. Hm, would RUmi and JEsus disagree? I find it helpful to see people for what they are, helps me navigate better. 

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Seems like Rumi was inlove with his friend the way I was in love with my girlfriend. He saw him as an expression of the Divine. 

The story Elif speaks about is so true. Others probably wouldn't be able to see my ex as the divine expression as she is as they weren't looking through my eyes. Rumi also says there's only 1 of these loves in a lifetime. He also said one in 38 years. I'm on the fence as well - it's either one a lifetime or two. Hope it's two, but might be one. 

 

 

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I have insights to write down everytime I go on a meditative walk. Thats good.

Anyway.. The way I discern a true teacher between someone who just had a lot of experiences, but hasn't really embodied them, which si the whole point,a s the full embodiment is the full enlightenment, is how much peace they eminate.

So Lisa and Ekhart are way above someone like Leo. Leo is all mind and experiences, 0 embodiment, or not 0, but so little. Frank Yang doesn't eminate deep peace as well. 

In terms of metapysics I see ACIM, Lisa, Ananda Ma, Ramana as top top. 

I also think you generally have a beautiful face when you have a pure mind, like Lisa and Ananda Ma. Ramana even as well. Not sure how Jesus looked but I bet he had a pure face.

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The true "meat" of ascending to Heaven is how deeply are you engaged with the world and how silent are you? The less engagement, the more silence, the higher the level of awakening. Afer hearing Lisa's day to day life I know shes high. Leo is probably mostly doing pleasure stuff and spending time online, probably doesn't spend 4-8 hours daily in silence like Lisa. 

My efforts to go total commitment to God are admirable, they helped a lot and showed me that when I devote fully miracles happen. But I'm not ready for the full transcendence yet, learned that now it's better to go slow and gentle. 

WIll be letting go things, simplifying my life little by little. Will learn from Lisa, Ananda. I always knew intuitively that to get enlightened one needs to let it all go. Some egos will get sick when hearing this because they don't want to let go, but hey, what do I care how egos think. Of course they will be against letting go - that's the end of them haha. That's why JEsus spends to much time teaching "this world holds nothing that I want.," the teacher of God feels no sacrifice when letting go of pleasures of the world, each thing you value here is a chain that binds you, etc.. I felt this intuitively, but he puts it int concepts very well.

Also, non-judgement doesn't happen in the mind. Non-judgement is a switch of identity from mind to SPirit. Keith Kavangh is right and Gary Renard is wrong. 

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This is a very good example of what not to become. She even has pics with ACIM on her Instagram.. 

Unfortunately sometimes I fall into this trap of spiritual materialism. It's probably easier to fall into believing that you can just hope and get money out of nowhere when you're a girl that shows of her naked body to men, they just shower you with gifts and then you believe you manifested that, although any gold diger can do that just because of pure mechanics of sexuality. If you devote yourself to God does he help you? sure, but just enough financially to support you in your transcendence of the world, not for you to be entangled in it more. 

This world holds nothing that I want. let go of pleasures and wealth. Be alone. Be silent. Awaken. 

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Last day of my 2-week vacation.. me tomorrow morning: 

 

 

haha but not rly. So blessed.. i have to work so little amongst chill people, chill boss and make good money. No stress, everything is soo smooth. Love it. 

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It’s not just Silence. It’s that part of your mind where God is. And the realm of concepts is where the ego is. Concepts are used to understand this and then they are laid aside in favour of God.

Edited June 22 by CoolDreamThanks

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Yet I still enjoy living out fantasy scenarios in my mind. I just dont feel guilty about that and know that in time these fantasies will lose their magnetism. Happened before during solo retreats.

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Gossip is bad. I rarely do it, but I vow to never do it again. Is strenghtens the ego, the anti-christ. Never speak about someone who is not here. And when someone is here, only speak little, especially with those who have no purity of soul. Let them not sway me to be like them, yappers.
 
Overall just yapping is a sign of a fool. It’s all around me so those people get me to do it. But I won’t anymore, less I forget.
 

to an advanced soul speaking about nothing is painful, it hurts the pure soul. Be silent.